Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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Category: bad movies

  • Step Aside Rambo Here Comes Buck Matthews!!!

    I just recently acquired a copy of the 80’s action flick “Eye of the Tiger” starring our main overacting king of cinema Gary Busy!! I must say it seems that back in 1986 they were looking for the new Stallone and someone apparently thought that guy was Gary Busey. Good that they did cuz Busey…

  • Barbarians! Barbarians! Barbarians!

    I was just reminded of a wretchedly epic movie from the 80’s this week called “The Barbarians” from fellow part-time dork Eljamez. I haven’t seen this movie since I was a kid and to be honest don’t remember much of it at all. I can remember seeing the vhs cover to this movie at the video store…

  • The Technicolor Nightmare Pt. 2: SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN!!!

    Super Xuxa, blonde and billowing with butt cleavage in a mini jumper, buttering rainbows on graffiti’d alleys and swarming with adoring pre-pubescents, slathering joy like hair mayo everywhere she goes. Somehow her urban cleansing campaign isn’t considered vandalism, either.

  • Bad Movie Night! Try It!

    Well it’s that time of the year again where we have our sporadic but traditional BAD MOVIE NIGHT! Myself and fellow blogger Sheaehs are gearing up to show some real stinkers once again this Friday. It definately takes the right person to enjoy Bad Movie Night I will say. First you just have to have a sense…

  • Technicolor Nightmares Pt. 1-JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER

    Finding a happy medium between you, your child and your TV can be a challenge. That’s why there’s demented kids movies! The exaggerated costumes, candy colored sets, community-theater caliber acting and fantastical plots latent in these low budget bombs often congeal into scary, trippy cheeseballs of pain. You won’t soon forget the emptiness your soul…

  • “The Room” exceeds the hype!

    I am sure many people out there have already witnessed “The Room” perhaps even several times but if not I’d go out this in your list of movies to see immediately! What is The Room? It’s the worst film ever made. At least that’s what it has been tagged as for quite sometime now. To me that’s a…

  • MARILYN MANSON LANDS A PLANE; Or, TURBULENCE 3—HEAVY METAL

    Slade Craven’s not your average pilot. He’s taking you on a heavy metal cruise through the unfriendly skies in TURBULENCE 3–HEAVY METAL. Hang on to your spiked collars and never wish that Rutger Hauer still made movies again!

  • Hasbro’s New Transformers Features A Devastator and Jetfire Wannabe!

    So this is pretty simple, but Universal Dork would really like your opinion. When it comes to Transformers, it is great to see the universe refreshed cause the comics and cartoon were just a staple of our youth. But I think all old schoolers agree that the movies just sucked; same situation as high cost…

  • new moon is turning people into zombies as I type this!!

    Whoah! New Moon is making  box office history! The biggest opening of all time?!! Beating out the Dark Night?! Start boarding the doors and windows because this movie is turning people into mindless zombies with horrible taste in movies!!  I knew it! Wow, I must say It is a sad day in the world with…

  • ‘New Moon’: movie Msg that will put you in a coma…

    So the big deal all around the world is that New Moon, the sequel to Twilight (like anyone doesn’t know that) is opening this week. Everyone seems to be losing their damn minds over this! My question, what is wrong with everyone?!! Twilight was hands down the WORST vampire movie I have ever seen! It had all the…