Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – A Boring, Emo Version of The Super Friends…

Well a couple nights ago I decided to check out Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and went in with a totally open mind. I had to briefly put my thoughts out there on this one and so sorry to say I just wasn’t feeling it. At all. It started out ok but with every minute it just became more of a disjointed, confusing mess. Some movies are messy and fun, but Dawn of Justice was just a flat out bore. Ben Affleck was a sufficient Bruce Wayne and Cavill of course was decent as Supes again but wow, this movie’s story felt like it was written by an eight year old and pace was that of a stoned three legged tortoise. Filled with plot holes galore, bad “gritty” grey filtering, fake ass CG, terrible dialogue, over stylized “emotional” imagery and one absolutely absurd ass villain. 

Yep this movie does have the worst Lex Luthor ever. Jesse Eisenberg was just absolutely terrible as one of the most iconic comic book villains of all time. This whiny, “I’m so totally crazy”, bratty, twenty something, Jolly Rancher eating Luthor was about as menacing as The Purple Pie Man from Strawberry Shortcake. His whole ridiculous, overplayed act took a huge dump on the legendary villain. Snyder’s clearly trying to make Luthor more relatable and cool to Millenials when he should have based the villain on an asshole like Donald Trump. I don’t care how much money this movie makes, it just totally sucks. It’s one giant, bloated set up for a slew of DC movies that are desperately trying to mimic Marvel’s recipe for success.

Unlike most of the Marvel this movies this has zero heart and it’s just no fun at all. It felt like a script lifted from an old Super Friends cartoon from the 1970’s but with Zack Snyder adding a mega douchey, “super gritty”, emo, “hip” spin on it. It also felt like it suffered from a serious case of bad editing? I guess Wonder Woman was pretty cool(she actually was the best thing about this mess), although kinda just crammed into the movie for the hell of it and Doomsday…ughh….why? Way to ruin that character too. Don’t get me started.

Ok so the movie was one time viewing for me, not in a good way, like you don’t need to see it again because of a crazy plot twist but in a way that I’d never waste two plus hours of my life again with something so damn uninspiring ever again. I’m also pretty sure I don’t really need to see another Zack Snyder movie for as long as I live….I’m officially over it.  

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