The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!
Who would have ever know that the answers to clean clothing here on Earth was solved by Vulcans?!! Don’t believe me? Need proof?! Well take a look here at this old school Cheer commercial from 1969.
Here you will see how one lone housewife had quite an epic experience one day while pondering one of life’s greatest wonders…..Laundry!!
Everybody knows that back in the 1980’s cyborgs were ALL the rage! So naturally one of my favorite classic covers comes from Mike Zeck on Captain America #286 from 1983! Since Deathlok has had a sort of new popularity since he appeared in X-force I thought I’d show this today as proof that no one can top Mike Zeck when it comes to covers! We need this guy back Marvel!!
So the big word on the streets is all about Marvel NOW! The upcoming relaunch of the Marvel Universe slated to begin in October 2012, launching one new title every week for months into 2013. Thankfully it claims not to mess with the continuity of things that have already transpired. So we can all just wonder why are they doing this? They claim several reasons, the main one being that this is the result to the aftermath of Avengers vs. X-men and the real reason is obviously due to the success of The Avengers. Alex Alonso states “these stories will be accessible to lapsed readers—the guy who likes, say, Captain America, but doesn’t know where to start—and anyone who saw a Marvel movie or heard the buzz about Marvel NOW!”
So now it makes a LOT more sense, it was clear that the movies suddenly started dictating the comic books which is strange because I had always hoped it would be the exact opposite. It’s always a bit depressing when major superheroes costumes suddenly start to mimic the movie counterparts. It made me laugh pretty hard when Nick Fury suddenly appears now in the normal Marvel Universe as an African American guy. It just so happens that the original Fury had a “secret son” Sgt. Marcus Johnson and guess what? He’s black! How convenient! Suddenly now Fury decides it’s time to retire and yes his son decides to start going by his “original name birth name” Nick Fury! Oh yeah he also by chance lost one of his eyes and wear a pirate patch!! Ha ha ha…wow that had to be the lamest move Marvel could’ve made. Which leads to the true reasons for all these changes. Money.
So what will we see next? First up is The Uncanny Avengers, a mix of X-men and Avengers in a new book. I’m fine with that, it might even be totally rad. I just kinda hate these re-envisioning things that happen every x number of years. How often do they really stick? Things usually go back to normal as usual because as it always goes if it ain’t broken it don’t need fixin’! The plus side is maybe it will be amazing? The Marvel Universe is indeed in my opinion needing new ideas, artists and writers on most of their books. We may also get some new fresh titles to choose from. I am excited most about that-new titles. On a closing note what I am not excited about is this weird armor that The Incredible Hulk seems to be wearing in the promo pics. Uggh….Marvel just can’t seem to get the Hulk right in the comics anymore. Well at least we have the movie Hulk! Now that’s a first!!!
Being a big fan of D&D, LARP-ing has always been a serious curiosity of mine. I hope someday to actually try it for real as it’s become quite popular over the years. However what is the real reason why it’s gotten so much attention? To me it’s apparent that it’s an easy thing to poke fun at. Yeah I do see how silly it is, I mean grown women and men playing pretend in the forest. To me though it looks like a great time and a great escape from this mundane world we currently inhabit.
This form of entertainment has been featured in quite a few films, like “Role Models”, documentaries like “Monster Camp” a more serious thriller in the awesome “Wild Hunt” and even popular music videos (Red Fang). So let’s add another comedy to the list the upcoming “Unicorn City”.
Even if it’s another tear on LARP-ers it’s still getting the word out there and getting me a step closer to some day try it for myself! Check out the trailer!
So the big news is finally out!! Superhero fans all over the world are ecstatic today as Marvel announces their next big blockbuster superhero movie! Luke Cage?! Nope! Doctor Strange?! NADA! Daredevil?! Na! Moon Knight?! Not even close! People Marvel is giving you……..THE HUMAN FLY?!!! Yep!!
Who?! That dude from the 1970’s? The stunt man guy? The series that had a total of 19 full issues! Yeah this Marvel Character was around for a few years, he was a stunt driver who was badly injured in a car crash and he was given a steel skeleton by doctors. He then did wild stunts for charity events but had run ins with super villains who often times tried to rob them. He even went toe to toe with Spider-man! As this is an odd choice for a flick I am curious what led them to choose this character? Alan Brewer and Steven Goldmann picked up the reverted rights on the property recently. Eisenberg-Fisher Productions, which is based on the Paramount lot, will executive produce the proposed indie flick. I wonder if Sam Jackson will appear after the credits to recruit The Human Fly? Hmm…..not likely!
So now that I know Marvel’s new strategy of movie making I have a few suggestions for you true believers in Hollywood! You heard it here first folks here are my predictions for the next Marvel Superhero blockbusters! Since they are obviously pumped about making The Human Fly how about…
Moonboy & Devil Dinosuar?!!!
Why the HELL not?! Listen up Marvel these two are way more fly than The Human Fly! Remember how fucking popular Jurassic Park was?! Ever heard of a movie called Encino Man?!! Moon-Boy is the first god damn human ever! This duo will surely rule the silver screen. Seriously if you wanna cash in make this damn movie!
Ok then we’re on a roll, so how about 3-D MAN?!!!
Yet another 1970’s superhero who’s like ten times as cool as The Human Fly! Marvel let me let you all in on a little secret you may not have caught onto yet…3-D movies are all the damn rage these days!!! Now you have a superhero who’s literally “3-D”! Imagine this “3-D Man in 3-D”!!! Win Win situation! Oh and I highly advise basing the movie on the issue shown above! That is if you really wanna cash cow…
Ok, ok I got more Marvel…since you skipped Giant-man for The Avengers movie you might as well get on this one asap…BLACK GOLIATH!
Yeah I love this character! He’s easily one of the coolest african american superheroes ever! Forget The Black Panther or Luke cage Dr. Bill Foster is the biggest man on the block and once again way more rad than The Human Fly! He’d stop him at the box office like a fly for sure!
Ok so let’s say you wanted to pass on Black Goliath, well that’;s fine because there’s always BROTHER VOODOO in waiting!
Just skip Doctor Strange and get this movie made! Add some vampires, zombies and lots of fucking Voodoo mayhem! Brother Voodoo kicks The Human Fly’s ass in every way possible! This one is a no brainer just do it already!
Ok lastly we all know how popular robots are…so let’s focus on a full on ass kickin’ MACHINE MAN live action film!
Yes! Seriously Machine Man is one of the coolest Marvel Characters out there! Aaron Stack is his name and way back in 1977 he was introduced into the Marvel Universe. He’s got a kinda Pinnochio type story as he was raised as a human by his creator Abel Stack. He’s made his way as supporting character in the most recent “Hulk” comics which follow Thunderbolt Ross and his alter ego the mustache-less Red Hulk. This guy is like one hundred times as bad ass as The Human Fly!! So why not? People are obviously into the Transformer movies for some reason so imagine Mr. Stack on the big screen! Win!!! P.s. Please note above Northstar on the cover of Machine Man…he has blonde Hair! What gives?!
I love to see new villains created for comic books today, but I won’t lie here. I really like it when some weird ass old D-lister from who knows when re-emerges onto the scene with a vengance into a current title. It always brings a smile to my face and sometimes the villain hits the big time graduating to the B-list or sometimes even the A-list level. So I began to think about a handful of villains from the yesteryears of my youth and decided that these guys need another chance to shine. Now I am not one hundred percent positive that all these guys haven’t made a more recent appearance, as I obviously can’t afford to read every title out there (Hint! Hint! Any of you comic companies want to send me promo comics for review?!!) but I am pretty damn sure this first group of villains have been pretty silent for quite some time so here are the first five that came to mind!
1. Shadow Stalker
This master assassin is probably my favorite on this list. He’s a super old school villain from “The Master of Kung Fu” series back in the 1970’s. He often time battled Shang-Chi and was one of his major enemies way back when. He’s definitely a weird ass character, which is probably why I like the dude so damn much! There’s really not much known about this guy, he hides in shadows with his yellow skin and kicks major ass with his morning star-hair.
A previous Shang-chi villain, Razorfist, who is from around that same era is now a pretty popular nemesis to Wolverine. Razorfist was also a fave of mine, so how about sending Shadow Stalker after Wolverine next time he travels to Madripoor? I’d pay to see that!
2. The Missing Link
This largely forgotten villain of The Incredible Hulk need to get back onto the smashing circuit again and knock some sense back into him! This guy was once a “neanderthaloid” from long ago who survived in a pocket beneath the earth by some unknown means. During atomic testing in China the pocket he survived in was ruptured and he was affected by the bombing, later returning to the surface as a radioactive monster! There he was handed over to the Russians who launched him into the New York Harbor where he raised hell.
This was the beginning of his battling the Hulk where he for a short time established himself as a major adversary. But where has The Missing Link been lately? I say it’s time for this guy to come back as a major contender and start some serious meddling in the affairs of Banner & The Incredible HULK!
3. Hammer & Anvil
These guys were pretty cool I always thought at least, however when villains in the 1980’s were killed by Scourge it wasn’t exactly a good sign of their popularity! Their story is also pretty unique “Leroy “Hammer” Jackson was an African-American prisoner said to hate everyone and everything. As part of a chain gang, he was chained to a white racist named Johnny Anvil. The pair’s hatred of prison, however, was stronger than their hate for each other and they succeeded in escaping the chain gang while still chained together. Hammer stole a .38 handgun from a guard, and when the two encountered an alien who had crashed on Earth, Hammer tried to kill it but accidentally wound up saving the creature’s life instead; it fed on metal, and used the bullets fired at it to regenerate. The alien wanted to thank them, and replaced the chain linking them with a device that granted them superhuman powers. The two returned to prison seeking revenge, but wound up battling the Hulk instead.”
Yeah that’s what their Wiki page had to say do you really need any other reason to see these guys back in action? I didn’t think so! I think The Wrecking Crew needs to have these guys join their gang-how cool would that be? Granted they’d need a good makeover most likely but power them up and and have them raise some havoc again!
4. Wyre
Yes Wyre is a D-lister from 1992 with an B-List background. He’s not very well known from his appearances in The Alpha Flight where his main nemesis was Wild Child, who at the time was a bit of a D-lister himself before he more recently graduated as a major villain of Wolverine. The Canadian mutant Wyre, much like Wolverine is a bit more of an anti hero, and actually has tangled with Logan before. He appeared back in 1992 and has genetically modified wires that can stretch from his body which he controls with his mind as well as a similar healing factor. His main mission was to take down members of a feral group of assassin called the Breed who were created from his DNA and quite possibly his hairy ass chest!
I think Wyre needs a good makeover obviously but given his background he could prove to be a major player in Wolverine’s world perhaps even resurfacing with information or a death wish again for Wild Child and Roumulus?
5. Half-Life
This guy should be back causing serious trouble for the Hulk! He first appeared in the The Incredible Hulk #334 back in the eighties and later in issue #342 he kills himself. As far as I know that’s the last we have seen of the psychotic gamma zombie. Half-life was pretty awesome actually aside from being really creepy looking he’d start out looking like a green zombie with a sylish 80’s hair-do and absorbing life from living creatures to become more “normal” looking.
When the Leader employed him to take down The Hulk he drained him so badly that ol’ jade jaws was not much more than a walking pile of skin and bones. I see no reason why Half-Life can’t come back, perhaps revived by The Leader? He’s a great classic Hulk villain that needs to step back into the spotlight-zombies are all the rage right now and a gamma powered zombie is ten times as awesome!
Wow I can’t believe we’re almost one hundred issues into The Walking Dead! Still one of my most anticipated comic books every month. Kirkman never thought it would become the sensation it is today. So now obviously this has gotten us all wondering what the hell is going to go down in the big issue? What could possibly top some of the last surprises we’ve endured? Carl getting shot, Tyreses’ death, the Governor being “killed” by Michonne, Lori and the baby’s death and most recently Abraham’s death were hands down some of the most intense and emotional deaths in comic book history. But is issue #100 going to be purely witnessing, once again, deaths of our current roster of Rick’s minions? Only time will tell, however here are a couple things I think would be a big surprise for this milestone issue.
First let’s think about what Kirkman could possibly do to blow our minds. I have felt for quite sometime that perhaps Lori and / or their baby may not actually really be dead! My guess is that sometime soon, perhaps even in this next issue Lori could be revealed to still indeed be alive. We really only saw her get shot, it was never confirmed by anyone that she was truly dead. My guess is this would be a major move Kirkman has at the very least considered. Would this shock you?
Second would of course be the big one. Rick biting the dust! I am certain this won’t happen soon but I am certain it will happen and perhaps Carl will lead the team or grow into a leader. However imagine if Rick was bit and the disease took. This alone would pack a powerful punch, the issues that follow showing the remaining members of his group watching him slowly descend into becoming the walking dead. Imagine Carl and say Michonne heading out into the world on their own. This, when it happens is will be a powerful end or new beginning to the book.
I guess anything could really happen, however I highly doubt Michonne has anything to worry about as she just made her wildly popular tv appearance. Personally as much as I love the title I’d love to see it move into a different direction. I have been a little bored with this whole “setting up a community” thing for quite a while now. I would love to see them on the road again, it’s so much more exciting and I think more believable. I mean how many times are we going to see the gang meet up with psychotic people and get into an altercation? It’s all been good and fine up til now but i think we need to get a little more adventure back into the title.
Listen up Kirkman, I think a logical choice of action would be perhaps them trying to get to an island somewhere and finding a boat? Get to some water. I know that’s been an idea in movies already but so was your whole opening to the story which was basically a blatant rip from 28 Days Later. Expanding on that concept would be very intriguing. I think searching for a small plane or meeting a pilot would be a great exciting new direction for the crew. It seems a little strange to me that the characters seem content with giving up and just accepting making a community somewhere. They need someone who’s looking for solutions and bigger answers to the problem other than Rick’s flawed one dimensional thinking about restarting civilization at some purely random location without knowing what the hell is really going on. Doesn’t anyone wonder what the big picture is?!
I also am NOT a fan of Kirkman stating there will never be explanation for the undead. I feel not exploring that idea is uninspired. What if there was a mutation? What if there was more than just zombies out there to fear? The book needs something new and exciting to happen in it or we’ll get the same scenarios happening over and over. Yeah we all get it, the living people are more scary than the zombies, how about letting that idea rest for a bit and get back into the monsters being more threatening? It’s time to introduce some new ideas into this book while still keeping with the tone so far. So I hope for something great to down in issue #100 and not just an issue where more supporting characters die off. What about you?
Step aside Stallone! We are all getting a second chance at Judge Dredd finally on the big screen! Yes we have tried for years to erase the Stallone version of the legendary sci fi comic book with no luck. We can all agree that movie sucked the big one big time, but I can also honestly say Stallone looked the part perfectly! Too bad in his version he only wore the helmet for like five minutes in the whole damn film. One thing I can’t stand is when we get big actors who play super heroes and don’t wear the costume enough, like when at the end of most big Hollywood movie versions the mask rips off in battle. I can’t stand it! Uggh like seeing Tobey Maguires face wearing the Spider-man costume and losing the mask at the finale of every single installment! We want to forget that an actor is playing the character, so Hollywood keep the masks on our movie superheroes please!
Sorry for the rant, I couldn’t help it I had to say it! Anyway…..I don’t claim to be the biggest Judge Dredd fan ever, but back when I was a kid I did read the comic book and most of all was inspired to read the series because of speed metal genius’ Anthrax! I even had the Anthrax tee with Dredd on it “I am the Law” was their song and it fucking ruled the damn school!
They even put out a rad t-shirt back in the day with Judge Death on it. Oh how I love old school speed metal! I also have to mention that one of my favorite artists ever, Brian “Killing Joke” Bolland helped make Dredd a must for me when I was in my teens. Dredd had a lot going for him in the eighties…
Here though we get a second cinematic shot at Judge Dredd with this brand new trailer-I have to admit it looks pretty legit so far to me and it seems so far that Dredd wears his damn helmet quite a bit!! This time we’ve got the new Bones from Star Trek Karl Urban as the ultimate enforcer and he looks great! The judge, jury and executioner faces a female drug king pin pushing a new reality altering drug, Slo-mo! So far so good! Now could we just get a little Judge Death in there too? I know, I know I am so damn picky….
I have mentioned this commercial here from the early 90’s you know back when Rob Liefeld was a comic book rock star! I am not sure how that happened really to this day, it still amazes me but ol’ Liefer has gotten enough negative press! So let’s not dwell on the fact that comic books like Youngblood is seriously unreadable as in doing so will likely make you less intellegent & damage your brain.
Check this out and relive a little comic book nostalgia!
Well folks that’s not all for today I also found this interview with Dennis Miller from back in the day. I think this was pre-Dennis Miller is the biggest Douche in the world era. Now that I am thinking about when exactly did Miller switch from being super funny to an asinine political tool? It happened overnight it seemed, well anyway check this out too more Rock Star Liefeld!
This Halloween season I will be once again looking forward to some great new horror, at least something good I can see in the theater! So far what’s looking the best to me are two movies in particular that will most likely show up in theaters across the nation. First we have “Sinister” which looks so far like it’s going to be a creepy ass little ghost story which stars Ethan Hawke.
It makes you think twice about setting up a projector and playing random strange films that you uncover from an attic! Check it out, So far I am digging the creepy monster dude who appears to be the movie’s “Freddy Kruger”. Yeah it’s kinda humorous seeing that creepy guy appear everywhere especially since he kinda reminds me of Mortiis, black metal superstar who used to make rad dungeon core music..
Second is one that pretty is fantastic, all but for the fact that it appears to be another “found footage” horror movie. Yeah I think we can all agree that the found footage genre is losing it’s luster quite a bit for me at least. However there’s always an exception as this movie V/H/S undeniably looks pretty damn entertaining…so far at least! This is cool also because it’s an anthology ala Creepshow with various directors bringing their flare to the movie. This movie promises thrills, monsters and the supernatural..
It seems this one has quite a huge buzz around it already. This movie is yet another one (like The Ring) that will make you think twice before watching or in this case stealing random vhs tapes from strange locales..
Universal Dork 