I’m sure everyone has heard all about “The Expendables” movie already? If not It’s a new movie  that Sylvester Stallone is writing, directing and starring in! I don’t give a shit what anyone says his last RAMBO movie was soooo bad ass! So naturally I am pretty excited for this one. The premise is simple: a team of  mercenaries head off to South America to kick the crap out of a dictator. Sounds like nothin special huh? Well what is so rad about this movie is the cast. Arnold Schwarzeneger, Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lungren, Danny Trejo!! Oh man the only one they are missing is Van Damme!!

 You just can’t beleive that Stallone wouldn’t have asked him to be in this right?! To perhaps complete the most awesome action cast in history? Well guess what HE DID! And Van Frickin’ Damme turned him down! At first I though that it was just because he wants to be a serious actor ever since he did JCVD (which was great by the way). I guess I could kinda respect him for that, but it turns out that was NOT the case. This is what Van Damme had to say about it all: 

“Stallone gave me a part in his next movie, but I ask him about the subject, about the story.”

“He said, ‘You’re gonna make lots of money.’ I don’t want to hear that, I want to hear what was my character.  He was unable to tell what it’s going to be.”

“[Stallone said:] ‘You know, uh, well, the fighting will be good.’ [So I said:] ‘Sly, what is my character?’ So I didn’t do the movie.”

Ummmm…. What? Were those two guys totally stoned when they talked about the film? Seriously did they decide to smoke a few joints together before dicussing business? Who gives a crap if he didn’t tell you what your character was gonna be. Plus Stallone was just telling him the truth about him making alot of money and that the fighting  would be good! What the hell else does Van Damme really need out of a movie? Does he think he’s gonna be asked to star alongside Phillip Seyour Hoffman or appear in the next Wes Anderson film for cryin’ out loud?!

 Well honestly maybe Stallone should come up with perhaps a little better pitch for a film if he’s gonna approach an actor about a new flick! Then again I am pretty sure he thought Van damme would be down in a heartbeat. From what I understand Van damme is doing a film with Steven Seagal instead of  this called “Weapon”. Someone tell me- is he out of his damn gord?! At least if you’re gonna turn down a once in a lifetime movie deal you might wanna follow that up with your next movie being something better than something you’ll see two copies of on the new release wall of your local Blockbuster!!

Hmmmm…well maybe Seagal had a like a 5 page description of what Van damme’s character was gonna be, and told him “Well honestly Jean Claude, you’re not gonna make any money doing this one”. But now get this, from what I understand Seagal has decided he doesn’t even want to be in “Weapon” anymore! Well leave it to Van Damme to be the new Corey Haim as they both obviously like to screw up good movie opportunities…