Universal Dork

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  • Best of VHS Box Art: Mutant Hunt!!

    Hey here we are again for the second installment of The Best of the Box where I’m listing some of the best VHS box cover art of all time! Well this time I’m showcasing Mutant Hunt, which is a pretty fucking hilariously awful movie from 1987. However they really did the right thing when hired the artist for this one. As a kid I’d alway dug this one, but it wasn’t until more recently that I actually saw the movie. Cyborgs were the shit in the 1980’s and with the success of The Terminator it seemed that everyone and their uncle was trying to cash in on  the man machine phenomena! Track this one down and watch with a rowdy group you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover in this case! 

     

  • Green Room is a Punk Rock Precinct 13!!

    I had the pleasure of seeing Green Room last night here where the film was shot in Portland Oregon! I’ve gotta say you’re not going to find a more tense, visually stunning thriller this year. Wow, this movie had me on the edge of my seat and ready to pee my pants for nearly it’s entire duration-yep it’s that intense. If you’re a fan of punk rock like myself you’ll really appreciate this one and if you’ve ever been in a touring band you’ll dig this even more.

    The story is simple young struggling punk rock band The Ain’t Rights are on tour and it’s a bit of a disaster. Low pay and cancelled shows almost stops the band’s trek cross country until they get a last minute gig out in rural Oregon at a secluded punk venue with a guarantee of $350.00. The band jumps at the chance and upon arriving to the club realize that their audience will be a freaky aggro crowd white supremacist punks. So naturally the band gets the bright idea to open up their set with a cover “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” by The Dead Kennedys. Yeah always a good idea right?

    This is the least of their worries though as the band gets ready to head off to their next destination they run back into the green room to grab their charging cell phone and discover a young woman murdered there surrounded by angry skins. This is where things get crazy. Real crazy. From this point on the movie becomes so intense it’s almost impossible to look at or away from the screen. The clubs swarms with a mob of angry skinheads who’re dead set on letting no one from The Ain’t Rights out alive.

    The angry gang of racist dicks takes orders from white supremacist grandmaster Patrick “Professor X/Picard”  Stewart, in a role truly unique for him. The first time I’ve seen him play a truly sinister, menacing character. The movie plays like a punk rock version of Precinct 13 and is soaked with some serious grit and some seriously, serious gut wrenching scenes of survival. This one is NOT for the faint of heart. No one is safe and by the end you’ll have been through the ringer and back. Green Room is jam packed with action, totally impressive  fx and great convincing characters. Anton Yelchin is excellent as well as the bands bass player who’s determined to make it through the night alive. I highly recommend this one for anyone who digs an incredible thriller that’s got a truly unique spin. It’s the perfect follow up to director Jeremy Saulnier’s equally shocking “Blue Ruin” if you’re looking for the ultimate punk rock survival flick look no further…..   

  • Best of VHS Box Art: A Company of Wolves!!

    Have you noticed the overload of retro style throwback movies that have been coming out over the last ten years or so? You surely seen all those retro style movie posters that seem to to borrow so heavily from those cult flicks of yesteryear. Well here I’m going to start a weekly post where I’m going to give you some of my personal favorite VHS box covers of all time. Most of these are ones as a kid in the 80’s I’d see when visiting the video store, some of those incredible covers will oddly always bring back great memories of being a kid. So for the first installment I picked one of the coolest from a bizarre werewolf movie from 1984 called “A Company of Wolves”. Seeing this one at Bricco’s Video Vault (I think that’s what it was called) back in Neenah Wisconsin back in the 80’s kinda freaked the shit out of me! It makes me wanna revisit this movie as it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it. But here it is in all of it’s crazy glory….    

     

     

  • Finally The Honest Trailer For Star Wars: The Force Awakens!!

    Yeah I admit it, I had a great time with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It felt like I was back home…which was actually part of the problem for me! It just felt too damn calculated.

    I get into it a lot with people who wanna shoot down the fact that it was basically a remake for 2016 of The New hope. Well I ain’t gotta argue my point no more, because the Honest Trailer has arrived!

    Now don’t get me wrong it was a ton of fun…just not very original. This isn’t a bad thing though for a guy like me because now this year we get Star Wars: Rogue One which looks much like the Star Wars flick I’ve been waiting for with an exciting original plot (I hope)!!

     

  • That Ultra Freaky Doug Jones Puppet In Gehenna!

    There’s a cool little indie horror flick wrappin’ up production right now called Gehenna and from what’s been revealed thus far it’s looking like it’s going to be quite a spectacle! Directed by effects wizard/master sculptor Hiroshi Katagiri who’s worked on movies like Pacific Rim, Looper & The Hunger Games comes this full on practical fx driven horror flick.

    Also add Doug Jones into the mix as one of creepy creatures and  you’ve can bet that you’re in for something special. The movie was successfully fund via Kickstarter and thus far this is all we’ve got in way of a plot synopsis:

                                                                                                        Doug Jones masters his personal puppet!

    “A group visits Saipan to search for locations for their company’s newest resort. As they find what they think is the perfect spot, they discover a hidden bunker on the property which they decide to explore. However, they soon find out that curiosity can kill.

    As each member faces their most private secrets and the secrets of the bunker itself, the results lead to a most shocking conclusion. …”

    Keep your eyes peeled on this one as it looks like it’s going to be pretty awesome and follow it on Facebook here!

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week: Adventure the Dungeons with Peter Hsu!

    Back in 1986 a cool little series came out from Aricel / Adventure Comics for those D&D nerds called The Adventurers! It was a great comic book jam packed with swords, sorcery, monsters galore and yeah…ninjas. My brother collected this series and though I was a Marvel & DC kid at the time I’d often sneak his much more daring and graphic indie comics any chance he’d leave the house. It was interesting as a kid learning that there indeed was more out there than the “big two”. This rad cover is from the first issue of The Adventurers by Peter Hsu and make no mistake each issue had incredible painted covers. I’m going to have to dig these out again cuz I’m feeling the need for some serious adventures lately!

     

  • Five Classic Villains For Netflix’s Daredevil & The Defenders!

    I haven’t quite made it through the entire season two of Netflix’s Daredevil yet but I’m slowly chipping away. So far so good though, I dig the first season more but this one’s still a good time. One thing I’m hoping for is an appearance by one of Daredevil’s classic villains. Some of them clearly might not work with the show’s more serious tone, say like Stilt Man or Mister Fear might not feel right on the Netflix show which is much more grounded in reality than the Marvel movie universe. However this show is in need of more real villains. So here are five villains I think would be perfect for the show and The upcoming Defenders series (I left out Bullseye because of course we all know he’d be on the list automatically) :

    TOMBSTONE:

    This guy would be perfect for the show’s more serious street level tone. If they could bring the sinister albino giant to life on screen I think it’d be quite a spectacle. I think of a classic battle much like the incredible Bruce Lee Game of Death sequence with Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

     

    Tombstone has a past with Hell’s Kitchen in the comic books and he’d make for the perfect bad guy in season three!

    TYPHOID MARY:

    We all know that Charlie Cox’s Matt Murdock gets involved with pretty much every and any beautiful woman on screen. It makes me feel a bit bad for Foggy, but whatever I guess Matt’s just too sexy for his own good somehow which leads me to Typhoid Mary. (more…)

  • Badger #2 Brings Back The Crazy!

    The Badger has definitely returned to form in the latest second issue from Devil’s Due / 1First Comics! It’s always nice to read a solid debut these days but it means a lot when the second issue in many cases is better than the first and this is the case in the latest reboot of the legendary Badger series from creator Mike Baron. You can read my review of issue #1 right here.

    Anyway the second issue brings back a more familiar feel to the cult 80’s indie icon. We’re really seeing more of a modern retelling of the origin story of Norbert Sykes, which is thus far packed with the perfect amount of that familiar Baron style of quirky comedy and a degree of realism that make this comic thus far one of my favorite recent monthly titles. I  actually think the current writers of Deadpool could learn a thing or two from Baron’s tasty recipe on this title.

    So what do we get this issue? Well Norbert and his buddy Ham are mysteriously released from the mental ward, partly due to Ham’s “magical” abilities as an ancient druid. Ham also purchases an old castle on the outskirts of Madison Wisconsin where the two of them plan to live. Ham however reveals he’s got a a serious problem with a powerful wizard rival none other than Russia’s Vladimir Putin. Or could Ham just be batshit cray?!

    Well things get worse when a Russian enforcer breaks into the castle ready to kill, good thing Norbert Sykes has got multiple personalities, one of which is the Kung Fu ass kicker The Badger! Lastly we get a glimpse of Putin himself as he and his crew of scientists are thawing out a prehistoric mammoth in a glacier. Yeah it’s crazy shit and also a ton of fun.

    I’m really happy this character is being given a chance in 2016, so far the series has great potential, I’m not a huge fan of the artwork in issue two, I personally think Badger deserves better. It looked a bit rushed, I wish they could land someone like Paul Pope or old schooler Mike Zeck as a regular on the series. Aside from that I totally dig it as a whole and will definitely be back for issue #2. Ask your local shop to carry Badger as I don’t think this series is getting enough attention!  

     

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – A Boring, Emo Version of The Super Friends…

    Well a couple nights ago I decided to check out Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and went in with a totally open mind. I had to briefly put my thoughts out there on this one and so sorry to say I just wasn’t feeling it. At all. It started out ok but with every minute it just became more of a disjointed, confusing mess. Some movies are messy and fun, but Dawn of Justice was just a flat out bore. Ben Affleck was a sufficient Bruce Wayne and Cavill of course was decent as Supes again but wow, this movie’s story felt like it was written by an eight year old and pace was that of a stoned three legged tortoise. Filled with plot holes galore, bad “gritty” grey filtering, fake ass CG, terrible dialogue, over stylized “emotional” imagery and one absolutely absurd ass villain. 

    Yep this movie does have the worst Lex Luthor ever. Jesse Eisenberg was just absolutely terrible as one of the most iconic comic book villains of all time. This whiny, “I’m so totally crazy”, bratty, twenty something, Jolly Rancher eating Luthor was about as menacing as The Purple Pie Man from Strawberry Shortcake. His whole ridiculous, overplayed act took a huge dump on the legendary villain. Snyder’s clearly trying to make Luthor more relatable and cool to Millenials when he should have based the villain on an asshole like Donald Trump. I don’t care how much money this movie makes, it just totally sucks. It’s one giant, bloated set up for a slew of DC movies that are desperately trying to mimic Marvel’s recipe for success.

    Unlike most of the Marvel this movies this has zero heart and it’s just no fun at all. It felt like a script lifted from an old Super Friends cartoon from the 1970’s but with Zack Snyder adding a mega douchey, “super gritty”, emo, “hip” spin on it. It also felt like it suffered from a serious case of bad editing? I guess Wonder Woman was pretty cool(she actually was the best thing about this mess), although kinda just crammed into the movie for the hell of it and Doomsday…ughh….why? Way to ruin that character too. Don’t get me started.

    Ok so the movie was one time viewing for me, not in a good way, like you don’t need to see it again because of a crazy plot twist but in a way that I’d never waste two plus hours of my life again with something so damn uninspiring ever again. I’m also pretty sure I don’t really need to see another Zack Snyder movie for as long as I live….I’m officially over it.  

  • Finally Bernie Sanders & Donald Trump Debate!!

    I’ve been watching pretty much all the presidential debates that I can stomach this election year but none of them are even close to being as enjoyable as James Adomian’s & Anthony Atamanuik’s incredible comedy tour of Bernie Sanders vs Donald Trump Presidential Debate which is on the road right now!

    These guys nail these candidates better than Larry David or anything SNL has tried to put out there by a mile. So while I previously have watched little snippets Youtube but now Comedy Central feature a full debate by these two awesome comedians in full character! Check this out it’s pretty incredible!!

    And recently it’s been reported that Jesse “The Body” Ventura “might be” entering the Presidential ring as a Libertarian candidate! Well good thing James Adomian has already nailed his impersonation to a T as well for the election year!