Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • Star Wars Horror Novel set for Halloween ’09!!

    StarWars.com has recently revealed the cover for their Halloween ’09 horror release: Deathtroopers

    dthtrprs

    Although, details on what exactly it’s about remain unknown (and likely will until Comic Con), the cover has me super-excited. Horror has long been a missing ingredient from the Star Wars universe. A universe where “blast-marks” are, for the most part, our only evidence of death at another’s hands.

    I’m also loving the cover’s suggestion of this being set around original trilogy era, rather than yet another prequel trilogy yarn. Kudos to the neck-guts and cords coming out the bottom of the helmet!

  • Mr. Campell you still got it baby!

    So do you like Bruce Campell? No, do you REALLY like Bruce Campell? If the answer to this question is yes then you will LOVE “My Name is Bruce”. I was lucky enough to catch this film sunday evening right here in a tiny little indie theater here in Portland, OR. The plot is simple. Some teenagers (who just happen to be big Evil Dead fans sporting Bubba Ho-Tep shirts) are out horsing around in the cemetary one foggy evening trying to get laid. They accidentally set free from it’s tomb a Chinese monster “Guan di” who who’s dead set on decaptitating everyone in site and protecting bean curd. What’s the solution to the problem? Why kidnapping Bruce Campell and bringing him to town to defeat the evil monstrosity of course!

    my_name_is_bruce

    (more…)

  • seriously CONFUSED BY…Yatta?

    Ah…yeah…um…ok…check THIS out! Tell me if you can understand exactly what is going on here….

  • BRING BACK THE MICRONAUTS ALREADY!!

    It just dawned on me how much i loved the Micronauts action figures when i was a kid! They were so cool with their interchangeable see through body parts and i remember having Robotman as well. You could put a micronaut in his chest, take him apart and turn him into a giant drill that moved on its own or even make him walk! Funny though, mine never threw giant boulders though-like the one in the commercial…check out these out- and notice how “Time Traveler” poses-what a fancy devil!

    (more…)

  • Who’s Ready for 3.75″ Marvel Universe Figures?

    Though it’s old news to many in the toy-collecting community, I am more excited than ever to spend my money on the upcoming line of Marvel Universe Action Figures: 3.75″ Style!!

    has165241Even at $8 a pop, this is like a dream come true. I Can’t wait until Iron Man meets C-3P0, or Nick Fury focuses his good eye on old Snake Eyes. Seriously, Star Wars, Marvel Comics and G.I. Joe now all in the same scale, produced by the same company?! This is like dying and then getting the 40 virgins.

  • Star Wars Fans: Help Bring Commander Awesome To Life!

    Attention Star Wars CGI Clone junkies!

    Now is the time to gather and marvel at the most powerful and unique clone in all the galaxy:

    commanderawesomeFor the full background on this pivotal character in prequel lore, click here.

    (more…)

  • LADIES AND GENTELMAN tHE renaissance five

    Yeah i like to post about rad new music too so check these guys out!

    p.s. this guy posts on this blog…shhhhh….

  • World’s Lamest villains: The Slug!

    So i would like to dedicate part of this blog to some of the worst, most god-awful, lamest, loser villains in comic book history! When you think Captain America you think of the Red Skull, Baron Zemo or maybe even Baron Blood right? WRONG. Enter “The Slug!”. This loser first appeared in Captain America #324 and then fully in #325.

    384px-captain_america_325-151

    Ulysses X. Lugman the crimelord / drug trafficker / ladie’s man from Miami weighs over a thousand pounds and can’t walk! (more…)

  • WHAT DO sPOCK & THE HOBBIT HAVE IN COMMOM?

    Check it out!

  • Santa Claus meets Lord of the Rings?

    So before we get too far away from Christmas time i just HAD to throw some mad props up to this rad vhs tape i found this year called “The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus” at the local Goodwill.

    santa

    I am huge fan of the stop motion Christmas adventures-“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” had been my all time favorite until this year. I could tell when i found this vhs tape that i was in for a treat! It too was made by Ranki/Bass in 1985 and was written by Wizard of Oz creator L. Frank Baum. Basically it’s a story of how Santa Claus came to be. You’d never know Santa had such an awesome upbringing.

    In this story he is raised in the magical forest of Burzee by a group of immortal wizards and fairies. However as he gets older he gets sent out into the mortal world to spread joy to the world with his weird annoying elven buddy Tingler and his tiger Sheagra. Once there however things get difficult for ol’ Santa. After making some toys for some local children his plans are thwarted by a group of beastly, toy hatin’, Orc like monsters who can turn invisible at will. So Santa goes to war with the help of his wizard buddies in a battle for Christmas. Yeah it’s pretty epic and by far the BEST Christmas adventure of all time. So next year try and find this little gem maybe they’ll release it on DVD or even better maybe Peter Jackson could make this one into a live action movie!