The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!
I love Zombies. I love sharks. Well, okay, I don’t think I would love zombies if they were real because I’d be leading a band of survivors through their infested territories nearly escaping death on a regular basis. And sharks, well fuck sharks in person. Sharks behind thick glass and in movies and museums are all fine by me. Anyway, somehow horror legend Lucio Fulci had the brains (get it?) to create this mind-boggling scene of amazingness:
I love the watching the dead taunt marine life.
Man i don’t know what the HELL Bigfoot was up to this particular evening but what i do know is he needs to slow down the pace a little!! Check him out in this clip as he barrels towards that lonely ladys’ cottage. What the heck is his deal? Has he been drinking a case of JOLT COLA all night? Or maybe he’s gotta use the restroom? Maybe he was out all night “raving” at an underground cavern somewhere in the woods and still wants to party? Or maybe he’s just a horny bastard…..either way lady if i saw Bigfoot outside my window at 3 AM in the morning acting that freaky i’d be long gone-c’mon Bigfoot slow it down already!!
Hey there! so here’s another installment of “The World’s Lamest Villains”. Today i am showcasing a villain from The Thing #7 from 1984. First off i would like to say when when The Thing finally got his own solo title in 1983 i almost pee’d my lil’ pants! He was by far one of my favorite characters as a kid and still is today which makes this installment a cool little trip down memory lane. I remember getting getting this comic at a drugstore in Oshkosh Wisconsin back then. But anyway enough about me let’s get on with the one they call GOODY TWO-SHOES!!
So i think everyone can agree that Bigfoot is probably the coolest damn guy in the entire world!! And i just know he really exists even though now suddenly everyone doubts his existence since those two backwoods dudes and that Bigfoot “expert” hack said they had the real proof that indeed our buddy Sasquatch existed. But we don’t need those losers to ruin our belief in his existence for us with some old Chewbacca suit from 1978 stuffed in a moldy freezer. Everybody and anybody knows that Bigfoot is interdimensional and most likely immortal therefore living forever and never leaving a carcass to be found. With that said i’d like to start a new category for the guy here called “Bigfoot Sightings” so from time to time we can document where and when this Yeti has been seen through the years. If you have a good one post it here!! The first one i could think of would be when he fought the “Six Million Dollar Man” in the 1970’s check this shit out:
So here’s a video of us playing D&D! As you can see we clearly have conjured up some wicked demons who have clealy possessed us!! This is a frightening video of the true harm Dungeons & Dragons can permanently do to your mind!! PURE EVIL in the making….
Check out this comic strip called Dark Dungeons ©1984 by Jack T. Chick LLC. These were passed out and used as a tool for equipping christians for evangelism in the 1980’s. I went to Catholic church but have somehow fell under the powers of the devil by my weekly D&D playing!!! Good thing i found these comics by Jack T. Chick online and got set straight-sorry guys D&D is officially cancelled-check this out!
Hey what i wouldn’t give to have all these Megos! Check out out the little blurbs they say about each of them and how the Falcon is simply “that great black super hero”. It’s funny that “Tarzan of the Apes” is for some reason included here and that The Thing’s clothing (which isn’t even the same color as his head) is actually his rock body! Another thing that’s pretty weird is that the narrator seems to think Mr. Fantastic has the power of invisibility too!? Oh yeah check out Conan the Barbarians afro too-dope! Either way you spin it these are probably the coolest action figures of all time…
Check out the new teaser image from Todd McFarlane and Robert Kirkman’s new book, ‘Haunt’:
I’m so stoked to see another totally original character emerge from the early 90’s creative powerhouse, Image comics. Hopefully, HAUNT will be forced to take out (Rob Liefeld’s original creation) SMASH but later learn that SMASH isn’t so bad, he just wants people to leave him alone! You know what else would be cool? If HAUNT has like, everyman type troubles, like trying to make the rent, awkward dates, etc. And he should have a cool job like a working for an online zine or something.
Make sure to check back with us tomorrow for an exclusive image of Jim Lee’s REVENGERS.
Last night i watched the brand spankin’ new “HULK Vs.” dvd last night that i got for my birthday on Monday night and i must say it was exellent. There are two movies on here the first is Hulk Vs. Wolverine which was the by far best of the two. This has easily got to be the coolest superhero cartoon i have ever seen! Finally some decent animation by Marvel since the Ultimate Avengers movies i was really starting to wonder if these new animated features would really be worth the time to view. The answer is YES. In this feature Wolverine and the Hulk go at it with no holds barred. Ultra violent, action packed and bloody (yes Wolverine not only uses his claws to stab people but unlike all 3 live action X-men films they actually bleed), it looks like marvel is taking a step in the right direction here.
Check out the new music video for Christian Bale’s recent tirade on the set of Terminator 4.
Universal Dork 