Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • Look Around You: Greatest Educational Program Ever!!

    I have recently taken to educating myself on many of the basic scientific principles. This has led me to seek out answers to many things that most of my peers learned by not only attending but also graduating high-school! My recent searches have led me to what I can certainly descibe as the greatest source of scientific knowledge provided by a television program: BBC’s (and now adult swim’s) LOOK AROUND YOU!

    Here are some of my favorite bits of info that this outstanding show hath provided:

    1.) Calcium (or specifically, the Helvetica Scenario)

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  • Greatest comic book themed music videos ever! a-ha brings it for the ladies…

    This video needs no introduction!! Probably one of the BEST songs of the 80’s and easily one of the best videos ever made.This alone could be the best comic book themed music video ever!! See what happens ladies when you spend some quality time reading comic books? You fall in love and go on rad adventures….i never get sick of this one. So everyone here it is one more time “Take on Me” by A-ha…

  • best horror music video ever?!! Aphex twin will give you real nightmares…

    Hey just the right video to watch right before bed this sunday evening! Yeah Right! Aphex Twin’s “Come To Daddy” is sure to give you the heebie jeebies! This video is like watching a real live nightmare in the making. It always gave me the major creeps and watching it once again made me realize it’s still just as scary…

  • the best horror music videos ever!?! TWO From metallica!

    I know everyone remembers this vieo but I think “Enter Sandman” definately qualifies for a pretty good horror themed music video! Plus it was a great song, even if Metallica was totally ripping off Danzig at the time. Plus i think it was Metallica’s last good album though many purists will say the Black album is a pile of poo! I still think it was pretty bad ass! Anyway here’s a video where Metallica tries to put the spook on us all-did they succeed? I still think that old dude is pretty creepy. Check it out for a trip down memory lane…

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  • When one Candy ruins the party for the rest!! MY CANDY RANT…

    I loooove candy!! All sorts of candy especially the sour kinds. Well last night i was eating some Runts (the big box of ’em) and really began to notice how those damn banana Runts we’re totally ruining a beautiful experience!! You ever have one guy at a party who totally makes people feel uncomfortable and ruins it for the rest? Well that guy in a candy alternate reality is the damn banana Runt!! But it gets worse cuz there are like five thousand of them in a single box of Runts! Who ever really thought banana candy was a good idea anyway? Runts could be the BEST candy out there but for some reason they don’t have the guts to tell the stinkin’ banana Runt to split! Anyway I’d buy Runts more often if they would just kick him out of the gang already….

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    This is what the bottom of my box of Runts looked like last night when I was done with it…

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  • The lost boys 3 – maybe they need to stay lost…

    So from what I have heard recently online it sounds like there is going to be a “Lost Boys 3”. I am not sure if that’s good news considering how god awful the second one was. Maybe they can get it right in the third? Apparently “The Lost Boys: The Tribe” did pretty well on the direct to dvd market as I assumed it would. Director P.J Pesce slaughtered my dreams of what should have been a super rad vampire flick with both Frog Brothers and Sam Emerson (Corey Haim’s character).

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    Corey Feldman was the best thing about “Lost Boys: The Tribe” other wise the movie sucked like a hungry vampire. But can he save the third film as the movie’s main character?

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  • 1987 MARVEL SUPERHERO FLOAT! get lost robocop!

    I just came across this awesome video today of the Marvel Superhero float from the Macy’s Day Parade in 1987! I was actually pretty impressed with the costumes, the whole re-enactment and all the different heroes and villains. One thing I don’t understand is why Robocop is hanging out with them on the float?!! Get your own float robocop! Anyway this is pretty rad-enjoy!

  • Back Issue Gold: Marvel Two-In-One #96 (ca. 1982)

    This week we take a look at one of the most fun comics ever created: Marvel Two-In-One. These usually featured the Thing teaming up with someone he didn’t often get to within the Fantastic Four’s monthly title. In this amazing issue, you not only get a bed-ridden Benjamin Grimm, but pretty much every single hero and villain residing in the marvel universe.

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    Yes, Ol’ Blue Eyes says his signature “Whatta revoltin’ development” and “Idol a’Millions” lines, but the following tidbits are the real reasons every Marvel fan needs to own this issue:

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  • old school artists that need to come back to comics! Barry Windsor smith!

    Hey Barry!! Where the heck have you been lately?!! Unless I am completely uninformed (which could be the case) I am wondering why this amazing artist has been missing from the comic book industry as of late? He is by far one of the BEST comic book artists of all time. I remember him most distinctly for his amazing artwork on the amazing “Weapon X” series in 1988, the hugely underated “Machine Man” limited series of 1984, X-Men #205 which is probably my all time favorite Wolverine one shot solo story and finally his one shot Thing and Human Torch story from Marvel Fanfare #15.

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  • Moore rantings and ravings from ‘Gandalf the pissed’.

    Former legendary comic book writer and current befingernailed hermit, Alan Moore has just recently went on the record about how he feels regarding comic book films to totalfilm.com reporter Sam Ashurst. Although I often laugh at Moore’s crotchety sentiments toward my favorite medium, he makes some very hard-to-argue points regarding the lack of vision that film producers have when it comes to comic book stories (like one studio’s pitch for ‘League of Extradordinary Animals’). In this short interview, I found myself strongly agreeing with Moore (for once) up until the return of his classic ravings in the last page where he claims that Brits never really created superheroes of their own. Huh?

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