Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • The Terminator Finally Returns!

    So it seems that the news is out on Arnold returning to acting today! I say It’s about time! Enough with the politics already!! Let’s take a quick moment to think about what Ah-nold should do next! We have to figure he’s now 63 years old so his roles may not be quite what they used to be-although if he’s going to do a follow up to one of his action movies NOW is the time before he gets way way too damn old to do any of them.

    I say give him a few months to get into shape and put him in the next Expendables movie-he could be a villain or even face off against Stallone! That seems pretty likely actually. Although I could also see him turning up on the Predator hunting planet as an older Dutch and helping Adrien Brody kick some alien be-hind!

    But my hopes really are that he will reprise the role of Conan in a movie he had been rumored for years to be possibly making: King Conan. He would be perfect in this role as the aged King set off on one last adventure. Personally that’s the role I am hoping for and I know people are already buzzing about it too. What I’m not hoping for is for him to now only take serious roles because he thinks he’s too old. Whatever the case I’m stoked to hear he’s back and cross my fingers for at least one more “Classic Arnold” role…..

  • The Green Bay Packers Best Kept Secret!!

    Ok so I am really not a big sports fan-I never have been but being from Wisconsin there’s certainly some huge hype right now on the Green Bay Packers as they are getting ready to play in the Super Bowl tomorrow!! Now really I don’t care at all normally but there’s one super hero from the Marvel Universe who I guarantee will be watching the game this year-Sasquatch!!

    Why you ask? Well there is a little known fact about Walter Langkowski (Sasquatch’s real name) that not many people even remember- He once played for the Green Bay Packers!

    (more…)

  • Everything You Need to Know About Monsters and More!

    I just stumbled upon and interview/article that’s got everything you need to know about the master of monsters, Guillermo Del Toro! I have to say I pretty much worship the guy and love just about every movie he’s made or even produced for that matter (minus Splice).

    In this interview you get the scoop on what makes this guy tick, just why he LOVES monsters so much, his upcoming projects (no Hulk news yet though) and what his plans were for the Hobbit. Anyway I am crossing my fingers too for a Hellboy 3 but still no word-in the mean time check this interview out here!   

    In the Video below he talks about his upcoming Lovecarft epic At the The Mountains of Madness…

  • Terrible New Photo of Bucky from The Cap Movie!!

    Hey folks there’s a pic of Bucky floating around from the upcoming Cap movie and well it looks kinda like a terrible photo! But at least it confirms that Cap’s rad side kick is definitely in the movie! I for one would have loved to have seen the black eye mask- in fact if he doesn’t wear the damn eye mask I’m gonna blow a gasket right there in the theater!! Bucky is not only one of the coolest characters ever but he also becomes the Winter Soldier-who totally kicks ass and then becomes Captain America himself!! So they better not fuck this up!! Now all I need is some confirmation on the Invaders-visual proof-and if Union Jack ain’t part of the team I’m gonna have a serious hemi!!!

  • Happy Birthday to ME!

    Yeah-it’s true today is my birthday! I am going to pretend that somebody just gave me this lovely cake here!! It’s funny how when I was young and thought about getting  older I always kinda thought I’d be all into reading the newspaper, golfing and checking on wallstreet stocks and shit like that. However that’s NOT the case- somehow it seems at least for me things never change. Nope I still LOVE the Hulk as much as or even more than I did when I was just a little buster!

    So I guess when I get really old, well I’ll still be a dork til the day I die-it’s funny cuz this cake was probably given to a 5 year old…that actually puts my mind to rest thank you. Oh yeah and I posted this video last year-and it still RULES!!! Thanks to whoever the hell made this!

  • The Good The Bad The Weird the Awesome!

    Well this here isn’t breaking news or anything but I just wanted to mention that I finally checked out the amazing Korean flick, The Good The Bad The Weird last night. I have to say I wish I would have seen this amazing movie sooner-but you know this dork here can’t be dorkin’out 24/7! I WISH!!

    Anyway it’s definitely one of the best action movies I have ever seen hands down-like a Korean take on Indiana Jones perhaps. Jam packed with colorful quirky characters, absolutely stunning action sequences and a nice touch of comedy to boot! This movie delivers on all levels and is surely one of the BEST movies a dork could have seen that was released on dvd in 2010! Don’t wait any longer if you missed this one-check it out already!

  • The Last American Virgin: John Hughes on Crack!

    Wow yesterday I watched a movie that seriously perplexed me! The movie in question is 1982’s The Last American Virgin, which I thought was going to be a relatively innocent John Hughes / Revenge of the Nerds style rip off film. We I must say this movie is just downright fucked! First off I have to mention the movie has a pretty amazing 80’s soundtrack-Devo, The Cars, Blondie U2 and about a billion other 80’s new wave bands have songs in this film which almost plays like one long music video. It starts off as just a bad 80’s teen comedy-kinda like American Pie set in ’82.

    The three main characters are flat out creepy, creepy dudes (more…)

  • Evil Ms. Santa Claus vs The Goonies!

    Yeah, Yeah I know it’s way after Christmas and nobody gives two shits about the holidays-but the other day I discovered a neat little flick that I will definately remind everyone about next year-but while it’s fresh in my head I thought I’d mention it here. The film Cuento de Navidad entitled in English as A Christmas Tale (Not to be confused with Rare Exports) was a film included in the Spanish horror dvd set 6 Films to Keep You Awake. In a nutshell it’s a great little horror thriller that only clocks in at 71 minutes in length-but has alot going for it.

    First of all it’s directed by Paco Plaza the man who’s responsible for the amazing  REC & REC 2 in which the american movie Quarantine was based. Second it stars (more…)

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week! Wen-Di-Go!!

    Let’s face it Wendigo is one of the coolest Marvel Comics characters ever and X-men # 140 from 1980 is probably the BEST portrayal of him as being drawn by John Byrne. Not only is the cover to this comic 100% classic but the whole story is just damn awesome. The real story starts in X-men # 139 as Wolverine and Nightcrawler head off to Canada to help none other than Alpha Flight take down the vicious beast. I miss simple storylines like this one which features them all shacking up in a cabin in the woods together. This is one of the classic Claremont/Byrne isssues and may be a bit pricy in it’s original form-but it can be found reprinted several different places-Long live WEN-DI-GO!

  • The Avengers Movie: No Giant Man??!

    This has been bothering me for sometime now, even though I am super pumped at the fact that Joss Whedon is directing The Avengers movie, yet massively bummed that Edward Norton won’t be returning as The Hulk, it all seems to be coming together nicely for one damn epic event! Except for 0ne thing-there has been no mention of Giant Man being featured in the film!

    There has been documentation of Whedon saying that Ant-man won’t be in the movie and no mention of Hank Pym being in the flick…so what gives?? Well according to Production Weekly it appears from their listed synopsis that Ant-man and the Wasp may actually get screen time after all. (more…)