Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

recent posts

about

  • Iron Fist Hits the Small Screen!

    I would love to see Iron Fist, Marvel’s resident kung fu expert hit the big time and get a movie made about him with a ton of kick ass over the top martial arts action! However as of right now I don’t think there are any real solid plans to bring Danny Rand into theaters.

    If they did though it’d be great to see his old buddy Power-Man or just simply Luke Cage (as he apparently thought his yellow & blue costume and name weren’t cool anymore) in the same movie. There have been a lot of rumours about a Cage movie coming to fruition but without Iron Fist I just don’t think it’d be as cool. Perhaps it’d simply be called Heroes for Hire? In the meantime though we can all try and enjoy this fan made Iron Fist movie,which kinda plays like a real life superhero adventure, I almost expected to see Phoenix Jones pop out and help Rand and Elektra….what do you think of this fan made short? Who would make the perfect Danny Rand in a big screen movie?

  • Hey Ho! LEGO!

    I personally have never really totally understood the whole Lego phenomenon, I mean I have always liked Legos just fine. I loved them as as a kid but never understood the whole Lego versions of things that transformed into video games like say, Batman Lego, Star Wars Lego or Indiana Jones Lego video game style…but maybe I have a new appreciation now for all things LEGO! How can you not when you see punk rock in the Lego universe, it’s all starting to make a little more sense-check it!

  • Northstar Gets Hitched?! The First Gay Superhero Marriage!

    Well not sure if you’ve all been keeping up with The Astonishing X-men lately but one of my favorite characters recently rejoined the team – Alpha Flight’s Northstar. As you all know he is easily the most popular and was the first openly gay superhero. Marvel is seeming to try and make history again with issue #50 of Astonishing X-men as he proposes to his boyfriend Kyle in a Bryant Park in NYC.

    The only problem is he gets rejected! Then in the same day it appears that his bf is kidnapped by an evil unseen nemesis the same one we assume that has been controlling The Marauders (yeah the guys from the historic Mutant Massacre of the 80’s are back). Anyway it appears that at the end of the issue Northstar is going to have to take down Wolverine and Gambit as they are now also under the control. But don’t fret everyone because in a rather lame move Marvel has already shown us the cover of issue #51 where we see Northstar & Kyle getting hitched!

    An amazing cover with all his buddies from Alpha Flight and the X-men gathered around them. Well all I have to say is it’s about time Northstar! Kudos to Marvel too who to my knowledge will go down in history with the first Gay superhero (who’s actually an awesome character) and now the first Gay Superhero Marriage!

  • Uninvited: The Ultimate in Domestic House Cat Horror!!

    The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!

    The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!

    Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80’s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!

    We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.

    Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….

  • The Incredible Hulk on Endor?!

    Well true believers there’s not too much to say here except that whoever made this little video is totally RAD! Check this shit out!

  • So Where Are The Great Lakes AVENGERS These Days?!!

    I am a mid westerner originally from Wisconsin, born in Milwaukee so naturally I have a HUGE soft spot for our super hero team The Great Lakes Avengers! Well first off they were created by John Byrne one of my all time favorite people ever in the world of comic books way back in 1989. Second they were formed in / and operate out of Milwaukee Wisconsin!

    So I was thing today that it’s been a while since we’ve heard a much more than peep out of these guys, aside from their brief appearance in Fear Itself: Home Front #6 -last I heard they were forced to change their name from Avengers & X-men to The Great Lakes Initiative.

    Well it seems these guys are always jumping on the bandwagon, so one might naturally assume that due to this sudden popularity of the Avengers that they would surely be changing their name Back to The GLA?!

    Well here’s a blog post purely made to generate a little interest from the people of the Mid-west to demand that these guys get some new born respect!! Hell how about another mini series? The Dan Slott one was great and now that the Avengers are all the rage I’m certain these guys could sell a few issues no problem!

    So Marvel let’s get on the ball because there are people out there (there are some right?!) who can’t wait to read what Mr. Immortal, Big Bertha, Doorman & Flatman are up to these days? Let’s not forget that Deadpool is a reserve member of the team! In the meantime I am gonna track down all of their appearances I missed out on! Mid-west Represent-LONG LIVE THE GREAT LAKES AVENGERS!

    Oh yeah…weirdly discovered a pop punk tune written by Kirby Krackle from Seattle about the team..interesting…I guess they are some sort of geek core band?

  • Iron Man The Pop Singer?!

    Weird, today I stumbles across Avenger’s star Robert Downey Jr’s solo album he put out in 2004 called “The Futurist”. Strange stuff-I had no idea he was an adult contemporary singer! Ahhh yes my least favorite genre of music!

    It seems that I’m not the only one who’s head this info skipped over. The album pretty much tanked when he released it and he went on to state that he probably wouldn’t ever attempt another one. Hey I think it was a good thing he dropped the music career personally-I’m not sure what you think but I could live with out hearing this song again…

  • Unfortunately This is Not an Alien….

    But it might as well be! I just first saw this amazing video last night-at first I was certain a new sea creature was discovered! Well unfortunately a scientist already identified it as a deep sea squid. Either way it’s new to me and totally amazing that this beast was captured on camera while drilling off coast of the UK. It’s pretyy much the strangest thing I have seen in quite sometime-proof to us monster obsessed geeks that real monsters do exist right here on earth! Yay!! Now let’s just hope we never run into this thing while snorkling!

  • Krush Groove: Most DEF Rap Movie EVER!

    Last night was a real treat – I watched Krush Groove for the first time ever! My verdict? Totally DEF!!

    It takes you straight back to 1985 in the best way possible as the movie stars Run DMC, Kurtis Blow, The Fat Boys, Sheila E and has cameos by The Beastie Boys, LL Cool J and New Edition. It’s the story of Def Jam recordings, well a very very loose version of how it all went down. What’s most important is that it’s a helluva great time.

    It’s so awesome to see something that I somehow missed as a kid growing up in 2012. You get to watch Russel Simmons (Walker in the movie) form the label, compete with skeezy 80’s record producers, get into money trouble with gangsters and most of all discover new talent like The Fat Boys while falling head over heels for Sheila E.

    Check out this clip of The Fat Boys as they rule the school with their rap skills…

    So don’t waste anymore time-if you haven’t seen this one that’s jam packed with bad ass classic rap, break dancing and some hilarious 80’s drama you best be doing “the worm” to your local video store or netflix account asap!!

  • The Avengers 2 : The Top 5 Avengers to Join the Team!

    Everyone is Avengers crazy at the moment and for good reason, the movie was RAD! So I asked the question what’s next for the team? Supposedly another Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk (though not confirmed) and Nick Fury movie in the works first before we get a second Avengers installment. Personally I think they should skip all the solo films and just start planning the sequel. Do we all wanna wait 5 more years to get another Avengers movie? Not me!

    With a second movie we will most definitely get more Avengers! But who will be the new team members? Listen up Marvel because Universal Dork is going to give you the winning choices!! So let’s get started!

    1. Giant Man

    First I must say this- Why the hell was Hank Pym not in the Avengers movie?!! They should have skipped Hawkeye & Black Widow and given
    us Giant Man and The Wasp! I mean how great would it have been to have seen The Hulk battle in NYC from The Ultimates with Giant Man towering above the buildings? This next movie is the perfect opportunity to bring him into the fold!

    Casting Choice: Aaron Ekhart

    2. The Wasp

    Well if we are going to bring in Pym then of course we need The Wasp! These two go hand in hand and their relationship is quite an interesting one. She’s always dealing with Hank’s abusive behavior and if you read the Ultimates you know this would be a great story to tell! When Cap goes after Giant Man after he nearly kills the Wasp with bug spray was easily one of my favorite moments of the series!

    Casting Choice: Lucy Liu (Ultimates version)

    3. She-Hulk

    Aside from being the hottest woman in comic books we have the perfect opportunity to bring in Jennifer Walters and She-Hulk. We already have The Hulk on board so it would be a great story in the next movie to have Ruffalo have to save his cousin with that blood transfusion. Plus who the hell doesn’t want to see a real She-Hulk in the flesh?! In this case I would highly advise NOT CG-ing her. Get a good make up artist and actually digitally enlarge her. All the fan boys wanna see the real thing this time!

    Casting Choice: Christina Hendricks

    4. The Vision

    Yes!! The Vision is easily one of the coolest comic characters ever!!
    He’s a staple Avenger, an Android and his wife is a human mutant the Scarlet Witch! I say if they decide to pass on Giant Man and The Wasp then we have to see the messed up story of a woman who falls in love with a robot!!!

    Casting Choice: Bret Spiner (Duh! At least Voicing)

    5. The Black Panther

    Another obvious choice, the king of Wakanda needs to kick some serious ass in this next installment. Recruiting him would be a blast too as The Avengers could travel to his homeland and even get into a scuffle there in the Jungle! The Avengers need a little more color in their team, Nick fury behind the scenes just ain’t enough! T’challa however could be a whole franchise of his own as well…

    Casting Choice: Wesley Snipes (if he gets out of prison! Plus he was a good Blade and already expressed interest in playing this charcter)

    What do you think??