once again it seems that I have run into computer problems. so right now I am blogging on my smartphone! this is by no means a fun thing to be doing. I don’t know if anyone else out there has tried it but it’s pretty frustrating. at the moment though I’m using my voice recognition feature so everything that you see written here is actually from me talking. this is the first time that I am tried doing something like this so far it seems that this is working out very easily. however my last blog was just 1 big deal it was a nightmare pretty much every time I touch anything so for the time being as I’m having continuous computer problems I’m going to keep these blogs a short and simple as possible and today just leave you with a short simple blog with an effective image so for the time being enjoy
Universal Dork
The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!
recent posts
- Peter Jackson Returns to his SPLATTER Horror ROOTS: DEAD ALIVE 2?!
- Could ROBERT ENGLUND Reprise his Role as FREDDY KRUEGER?!
- Why DRAGONSLAYER (1981) Slays ALL CG Hollywood Dragons!
- He-Man 1987 Vs. He-Man 2026: Who’s got the Real POWER and the Most Muscle?!
- The Female EVIL DEAD: ‘Dangerous Seductress’ from 1992 Kills Boners!!
about
-
-
Yep more proof Portland, Oregon is a pretty great place live…
-
I’m always on the lookout for a good horror flick! I have a hard time finding newer horror films that really deliver the goods and offer up a good scare or a good laugh. I recently I did see a few good ones and I’m gonna share a few recommendations for you so when the winter’s cold bites too hard you’ll have a few movies that you know aren’t total trash to keep your blood running hot!
The Pact (2012): I’ve gotta say this one surely delivered the scares a-plenty! This is one hell of a well done ghost story and is fully guaranteed to freak you out. This movie follows a young woman’s search for her missing sister who disappears shortly after the passing of their mother. She heads back to her hometown house where she grew up and becomes pursued by a malevolent spirit that resides in her childhood home. Sounds simple enough huh? Don’t bet on it this moviewill grab you all the way til the shocking finale-this one is a MUST for any true fan of pesky poltergeists!
It’s in the Blood (2012): Here we have another creepy new horror film featuring veteran Lance Henrikson. I doubt that means to much these days as Lance continues to star in one crappy horror flick after another these days. Well this one breaks the streak of shitty horror he’s been riding. It’s in the Blood is quite a nice little Monster movie as long as you aren’t expecting something like Pumpkinhead. No this one reunites a father with his estranged son as they embark on a hiking trip together where they face head on their haunting dark pasts that caused their separation. Once deep into the woods something begins stalking them and they desperately work together to survive the night. This one gets pretty intense and delves into some dark scenarios but it’s effective and creepy as hell.
[Rec]3:Genesis (2012) I have been waiting for quite some time now for this third installment to the incredibly tense REC series and this one continues the tradition albeit in a completely different way than the first two. The previous films were completely “found footage” But they were the few good ones of that tiring genre that just won’t seem to go away. Basically this one starts out like a found footage flick but shortly shifts in to a real movie. This one unlike the previous two follows a more ‘Evil Dead 2’ style and continues to deal with the demonic virus epidemic of the first two. It’s funny, gruesome & action packed. My only complaint was I was hoping for a little more out of the demonic people this time around and they ended up seeming more like traditional zombies than the hyper intense walk on the ceiling type infected we saw previously. Still though this one is a great one to watch with a bunch of friends and a bunch of drinks..
-
I love this little cartoon so much, it’s probably the funniest shit I’ve seen in quite some time!
It’s pretty spot on because you know it never really seems like Nick Fury really contributes very much at the end of a battle for The Avengers at least in the movie! So check this out if you haven’t already! It’s guaranteed to make you laugh I promise!
-
This has got to be some of the most unsettling movie news I have heard in a long, long time. Allegations of major animal cruelty have been cast upon Peter Jackson and his crew while filming the first installment of the mega blockbuster ‘The Hobbit’ just over two weeks before the film’s set to debut here in the United States. This is terrible news as this movie has been one of my most anticipated if not most anticipated films for years.
Peter Jackson has been a favorite of mine since ‘Bad Taste’ and The Lord of the Rings trilogy being one of my top 3 favorite films ever. But The Hobbit is being blamed for twenty seven animal deaths some being horses goats and chickens. Here’s what I has been reported so far via Huffington Post:
“Animal wranglers involved in the making of “The Hobbit” movie trilogy say the production company is responsible for the deaths of up to 27 animals, largely because they were kept at a farm filled with bluffs, sinkholes and other “death traps.”
The American Humane Association however, which is overseeing animal welfare on the films, says no animals were harmed during the actual filming. But it also says the wranglers’ complaints highlight shortcomings in its oversight system, which monitors film sets but not the facilities where the animals are housed and trained.”
Jackson and the films producers reject these accusations saying that no animals were mistreated during the filming of the Hobbit. This however may be true but where the animals were housed at, a farm nearby, is where these animals died. Apparently the farm was wasn’t fenced properly and the bluff and sinkholes are where many of the animals died. There were also reports of chicken maulings by dogs and many instances were due too poor oversight of the animals. There have also been allegations that the animals feed was causing deaths as well.
Several stars of the film like Elijah Wood claim that this is merely a reaction from angry wranglers who were let go from the film trying sabotage the release. He claims he never witnessed any animals being harmed. However I really doubt Elijah was hanging out at the farm where they were kept too often.
It seems to me that this story has been kept thus far for the most part incredibly quiet, I only heard about it first last night and the story broke almost a week and a half ago. It could be the studio keeping it as hush hush as possible as to not deter people from seeing the movie. Or maybe I am just out of the loop. Personally this is a story I want to follow as it does affect my decision of supporting the movie. This films budget was over $500 million dollars, I can’t believe that Jackson and crew were unable to keep these animals safe, because at the end of the day at least 27 animals died due to being involved with this movie. Protests of the movie’s premiere are already being organized all over the world. What do you think? Could this affect whether you see The Hobbit?
-
I just viewed the trailer for the upcoming Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United animated Marvel movie and well I’m not impressed in the least. This is the kind of animation I just can’t stand. I am totally fine with CG animated movies, ones that actually look like someone spent some time on them. However this so far looks like a cheap video game opening sequence.
heroes united cg I really can’t believe after Marvel released the A-Mazing “HULK Vs.” double feature cartoon that this is what we get next in animation from Marvel. This trailer also makes the film look incredibly boring and tacky. Come on Marvel you can do better! I mean you’re definitely not hurting for money-so it’s time to up the ante as DC seems like they are really stepping up the competition with their latest animated features!!
-
The season is upon us again already! My how times flies huh? Well I decided to do a quick little bit of research to find out what this Christmas brings in the way of Holiday Horror. What I found was barely worth mentioning! Nope there will be no “Rare Exports” this year at the theaters. If you haven’t seen Rare Exports you better ad it to your list, it’s easily the one of the best Holiday Horror films ever made. What we will get really is another remake on the 30th with a limited release.
‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’ has been renamed simply ‘Silent Night’. It actually looks ok, well maybe I am just saying that because of Malcom Mcdowell starring in it. Here’s the trailer to a movie I hadn’t even realized was being released.
Well that can’t be the ONLY holiday Horror flick this year can it? Nope there’s another one that when I read about sounded like a winner. ‘Christmas with the Dead’ is based upon a short story by Joe R. Landsdale who also wrote Bubba Ho-tep. However hold your excitement because this one looks like a real clunker to me….
Lastly I found one other movie with holiday themed Horror this year, it’s called ‘The Christmas Mummy’ and appears to be a no budget horror flick made in Wisconsin, my home state and played this year at the Oshkosh Horror Film Festival. I really only found this one trailer for it, but it looked like a fun little movie made by some film makers in the heart of America’s dairyland. So to throw some props out there for their creative efforts I am posting what appears to be the only trailer for this film….
My question to all of you is – did I miss something?
-
There’s a lot of hype surrounding Marvel NOW! titles that we are finally seeing hit the shelves. Being a big fan of The Incredible Hulk
I was curious about this new title, as honestly it’s been quite a while since I have read a new Hulk comic I really dug. So here we have it today, hot off the presses, Indestructible Hulk #1!
So first I have to admit, I am not a fan of Leinil Yu’s art. So naturally knowing he was illustrating the book wasn’t exactly an exciting thing for me. However, it’s The Hulk we speak of here so I decided to let go of any preconceived notions I may have had about disliking the art. I have to say though, I wasn’t ecstatic about what I saw, I will admit the artwork was at the very least sufficient. What I really mean is that I can live with it. So onto the story (more…)
-
Saturday night I had the pleasure of watching NUKIE a little known shiny turd of a film from 1988! It was jam packed with crap! It followed the story of an annoying pair of aliens who crash land on earth, one in Africa and one in America. It’s supposed to be like some sort of hybrid of E.T. and Close Encounters except just really ultra suck-tas-tic in about every way imaginable!
This movie tries pretty hard to be cutesy and have a lot to say but in reality it’s just an excuse to use and animatronic alien head for two hours! Yeah that’s pretty much all this one has got ‘going’ for it and once the semi decent Nukie puppet alien face charm wears off you’ll be wondering how the hell this pile of dung ever got funded! This movie is full of weird stereotypes as well.
Nukie our main alien character runs around the African fields with his runny nose and befriends a pair of local tribal boys. There he does weird dances for them, asks random giraffes if he’s in America, irritates locals, transforms into blue glowing orbs and hijacks a helicopter with a monkey in a diaper. Yes this movie also features a weird ass super fucking annoying talking chimp who of course wears human clothes.
When he first appeared on screen and started mouthing off his incredibly irritating dialogue I had to restrain myself from getting off the couch and throwing my friend’s television out the damn second story window! From what my Nukie-fried brain can remember there wasn’t a single reason why this chimp could or should have the ability to speak english. Perhaps just being in the presence of Nukie gave him the superhuman ability to become one of the most annoying talking animals I have ever seen on screen. Later that night I had repeated dreams about washing that chimps mouth out with a bar of poison soap! Yep he makes the movie worthwhile alone!
That’s not all though, Nukie’s twin buddy Niko hangs out at this super boring NASA base, and every time they cut to the NASA scenes the movie suddenly sounds like the opening narration to an episiode of Dragnet! Yeah and boy do they love to show the same view of the NASA building over and over and over. There though Nukie’s buddy is experimented on by super lame scientists that hang out around a super computer that essentially does nothing but spit out useless information and weird ass dance music.
The rest of the movie is kind of a blur, but Nukie and Niko finally meet up and escape and guess what? They actually take the talking chimp along with them! I mean these two aliens have got to be suffering from severe nuclear brain damage to do a thing like that? If only we could get a sequel that followed these three idiots around for another 2 hours! Beware of this films it sucks bad and MUST be watched!!!
-
HULK SMASH! Yesterday I released my second music video!
Yes, the rumors are true. I am a part time Nerdcore reggae rapper called Mister Saturday. I have done dozens of songs about things I love like Star Trek, Three’s Company, Dungeons & Dragons, Godzilla, 1980’s action flicks, Land of the Lost and most recently The Incredible Hulk!
So naturally I just had to pay some homage to the big green guy as he’s my favorite superhero of all time, so I did a song about & video about turning into a Hulk myself and how the average day could be a lot more risky when you’ve got a short fuse and the potential to turn green! So please check it out-hopefully it will put a big green smile on your face!
H
Universal Dork 