Batman movies should go back to Tim Burton.

“Never rub another man’s rhubarb.”

-The Joker

I was watching the 1989 Batman movie the other day, mainly as an attempt to convince myself that it’s actually another Prince movie (which is the reason I look forward to time travel. I will convince his Purple Majesty to make more), but  instead I found myself enjoying it the way I did in the theater that summer as a nine year-old.

Following  it up with Batman Returns, I reached a  holy shit! type of epiphany: It hit me why I love these movies so much: They feel like comic books. The Joker, The Penguin, the Gotham City sets, the costumes. They were suspenseful but very comic-like. Dark in a way (Pee Wee dumping a child in a sewer at Christmas!), but also really comical (Pee Wee dumping a child in a sewer at Christmas).

This really got me thinking that Tim Burton needs to continue where he left off. He started something great that went on to become something like the comic-book equivalent of the mullet and more recently to the great, but all-too “real”. Batman doesn’t need to be fucking real, he’s Batman! The more I think about, the less I want his costumes and finances explained to me. Fuck Lucious Fox and Research and Development (But let’s keep Morgan Freeman in it somewhere) and dog-resistant kevlar. Why do we even need to know that stuff?

Anyway, I want Michael Keaton back – yeah, I know, he’s probably too aged at this point but Harrison Ford was 60 when he did Star Wars and look how he’s doing!! Maybe at Dark Knight Returns type story would work for Michael today? Let’s get Tim Burton directing, Sam Hamm writing it, Keaton back in the rubber and let’s get the always welcome, Bill Dee Williams back as D.A. Harvey Dent. Plus think of all the great roles Burton mainstays like Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp could pull off!

No more Christian Bale. Seriously. I want someone who looks like Bruce Wayne, less smirk, more grimace. No more chase scenes through the streets of Chicago, but instead chases through bizarre sets like sewer-zoos and axis chemical factory. C’mon back Tim, you did it best!


11 comments

  1. Chris

    Sorry man cant follow you at all on this one. I hate the tim burton batman movies there not about batman. There about badly devoloped over bloated villians.

    The batman comics I grew up on feel like the new movies.

    • petersaturday

      yeah i am not sure the batman movies of the lates 80’s & early 90’s have stood the test of time well. i really need to rewatch them. i think that the new movies are great but i would like a bit more comic book take on stuff like the villains. don’t get me wrong Ledger was amazing as the Joker. But he was definately not the one of the comics. i would really like to see a movie joker that really looks like the comic book one! Lookswise the best was Boner from the Batman: dead end short film. i know i am gonna get shit for that one….

      • 1frombeyond

        If you’re not sure whether they (Batman and Batman Returns) stand the test of time, then you haven’t watched them lately. They are exactly what I want in a comic movie: an actual comic book experience! They feel like a great Batman arc. The current movies, as great as they are, are trying way to hard to make the Batman mythos something possible in reaity. Batman should be larger than life. Escaping to Burton’s Gotham City is how I want to experience Batman outside of the pages.

      • petersaturday

        i totally understand and i too can see your point. maybe a little more of the comic book feel rather than the real life take on things? Jack Nichoson was great but should have lost some serious weight for the joker role!!

  2. Chris

    Actually The joker from that short was very spot on! He looked just like the joker of the comics for sure. To me Heath Ledgers Joker acted very mutch like the ole joker we grew up with. The way he slid down the mountain of money.Dressing in drag.His taking over the news air waves when he wanted to put his message out.I really liked that he didnt fall into acid and that his origin is mysterious. I dont think a red hood version of joker would work well in the universe theyve set up.Also Burtons batman is a murderer! Batman dosent kill on purpose damnet! He wouldnt have blown up a chemical plant with all kinds of people inside. He wouldnt stuff a bomb in a dudes pants and throw him in a sewer. Oh and NO WAYNE ENTERPRISES!!! Bruce wayne is an art dealer??? WTF?! I have more complaints lol but this has been long winded as it is. The thing is Batman and robin ruined the chances of a good comic book type batman. If they hadnt done that who knows how the next movies coulda been?

    • petersaturday

      Good point. There was almost no salvation from Batman and Robin. Where do they go though now with the new Batman movies? Batman 3 could no way measure up to the Dark Knight! The riddler? the Penguin? i don’t feel it. Maybe Killer Croc done right could be really awesome?

    • 1frombeyond

      Prince’s edge may have been left in 1993, but it doesn’t change the fact that if I could, I’d go back in time, LOST-style and convince him to make many more films. Even if they all turned out like Graffiti Bridge. AND…it doesn’t change the fact that he made an awesome soundtrack for THE greatest Batman film so far!

  3. 1frombeyond

    Jack sure looked like he was on the big-mac diet during filming. Especially in the museum scene – holy shit!

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