Man oh man I just recently revisted “The Wishmaster” series from the late 90’s and really the only thing I can truely say about it is that of all the movie monsters in history The Wishmaster himself is in most serious need of of an ass beating! This evil djinn has just gotta be the most irritating and annoying villain to grace the silver screen.
It’s a fun series, has cool special effects and has loads of cameos from iconic actors of horror movie history. But one thing is certain, the Wishmaster is just begging to be decked everytime he opens his damn mouth. He’s always trying to get you to make some ultra lame-ass wish even if you’ve told him a million times that you just don’t give a damn about his “screw you over” second rate wishes. Yeah I know the Wishmaster wants your soul and everything but dammit this guy’s in serious need of a different hobby! Anything to get this guy’s mind off of his stupid wishes. Perhaps he needs some therapy from a shrink? Or maybe he just needs to get laid? Or maybe someone needs to take him out for a drink on saturday night? I guess I shouldn’t be too tough on the guy, because if my mom named me “The Wishmaster” I suppose I’d probably be pretty into talking about wishes too for every single waking moment of the day.
Really to be honest I will admit he’s a damn cool looking guy when he’s in his demonic form, but no matter how bad ass this loser looks you know he’s a total putz the second he starts flappin’ his mouth. If I was the star of the movie and the Wishmaster showed up in my home, the movie would last about 90 seconds. After the initial shock of seeing him and then hearing his stupid voice, I would have kicked his ass all the way to pluto and back before the the title of the movie could even make it onto the screen. If he asked me what I wished for I’d tell him that I want him to sew his mouth shut with some adamantium wire so that I didn’t have to listen to him babble on anymore about granting me some dumb wish and let me get back to sleep!
(Above) Wishamster in Human form and totally cruisin’ for a bruisin’!!
Then to make matters worse he transforms himself into an even more irritating human version Wishmaster(I really have to give him some serious kudos for actually acheiveing an even more annoying persona!!). The sheer look on his face in human form makes me wanna break things into a million peices.
Then he begins to talk and it’s all over. It’s amazing how much his victims put up with him and not a one of them even thinks or attempts to kick his ass before they get fooled into giving him their souls! Plus he thinks he’s sooooo damn genius when he grants your wish and makes it happen all literally. No Wishmaster, that just makes you look even more like a total douchebag. Anyway I just had to get this off of my chest before I lost my mind. I guess I’ll have to cut this rant short cuz I’ve gotta get back to finishing Wishmaster 3 & 4 ……