Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • Deadpool Test Footage: Does it Warrant a Full on Feature Flick?!

    We all got to see the leaked footage of the test footage that was made with Ryan Reynolds voicing the character and it seems like it’s generating a lot of hype for a big screen solo adventure! I’m intrigued by this footage, as it came directly off a wretched portrayal of the character from probably the worst superhero flick of recent times, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But with that said the test footage was actually better than I expected. Fans all over are hoping that this idea will turn into a full fledged “R Rated” feature film, with a ton of gore and the typical Deadpool smart ass humor we all have come to expect from the character. However, today it’s been said that if it happens it WONT be rated R, it will be PG-13. It will generate far more money if they make it more kid friendly, that’s the motivation behind the rating.

    So it really seems, with no surprise, that everything in Hollywood is indeed about money. The times are past when Hollywood just wanted to make an amazing movie and take any real risks. Today any superhero flick apparently needs to make an obscene amount of cash for it to be even considered. To me this is sad. I know it’s the world we live in today, but it’s too bad that it all revolves around making a big big buck. A movie like Blade which was rated R was made for 45 Million dollars, it made 131 million worldwide, but today those numbers just aren’t good enough. Today Hollywood is looking for four to five times that, as Iron Man made 582 million buckaroos. There’s a lot of cool movies being passed on these days (Hellboy 3 anyone?) because Hollywood doesn’t think they can make the money. But how much money is enough?!

    Well in this case I’m certain that Deadpool will be made, and it just might be a damn good flick. However I miss the days when they might have made an awesome Deadpool flick without trying to market it to thirteen year olds. How many thirteen year olds do you know that read Deadpool anyway? Now let’s move on to the footage we all saw, I think it looked decent but why did we get a CG motion capture version of Deadpool?! This isn’t Roger Rabbit dammit! What’s wrong with having Reynolds in an actual costume? Is that too complex now? Designing an awesome costume that the actor actually has to put on? It seems to me that the whole motion capture thing is getting a bit out of hand, I fear that there will soon be no actual wardrobe or costuming for fantastic characters on the big screen. How about Ultron in the upcoming Avengers “Age of Ultron” did he really need to be motion capture? Have you ever seen C3PO? Or now what about Thanos? They couldn’t transform Brolin into the character with make up? I mean what if  Ron Perlman didn’t get the make up for Hellboy-would he have been as convincing?

    Lastly I really do hope we see a good Deadpool movie, I hope it’s wild and funny. That means that we need some good writers who know how to blend comedy with the genre. I’d take Edgar Wright on a project like that. In order to make Deadpool a success they need a lot more than him cracking wise ass jokes that simply aren’t funny. So this will all be interesting to see what comes to be with this one, they are on the right track I think, but they need to go a far distance from the movie he first appeared in to make it everything the fans love about the character…

  • Now We’re Getting “The Evil Dead” TV Series? I’ll Believe It When I See It!

    We recently once again got “news” from Sam Raimi at Comic Con that he’s writing an Evil Dead TV series with his brother and Bruce “Ash” Campbell. Wow sound like an awesome idea huh? Well as everyone on the internet flips out about this, I’m saying I’ll believe it when I see It! Look, this all seem like a really swell idea, but how many damn times does Mr. Raimi expect us to get excited about this whole damn Evil Dead thing?! The idea of a true modern sequel has been announced many times by Sam, then either he or Bruce come back and say stuff like they were just kidding, weren’t serious, or just trying to say what the crowd wants to hear etc, etc, etc.

     

    I’m personally getting a little tired of the whole idea of another movie with Bruce as Ash. I’m tired of hearing about a sequel to the reboot, that’s not going to happen and then is going to happen and then nothing. I’m tired of hearing about how we’ll be getting a new Evil Dead sequel from Fede Alvarez, then getting Army of Darkness 2, then the universes colliding in a final installment with Bruce and then hearing that- that is NOT actually the plan, nope now we’re gonna get a nifty TV series with Bruce Campbell in the leading role…..becuz i’m sure in a week from now Bruce will make some smart ass comment about it saying it ain’t gonna happen. The more I see Raimi’s recent work the more I hope that he just gives up on the idea! He’s stated several times that he’s really not into doing any more Evil Dead-so why would I want to see a movie or TV series by someone who ain’t interested?! That’s not the Evil Dead flick I’ve been waiting for!

    So these three guys can keep talking at Comic Con’s every year about a new Evil Dead movie, a sequel, a tv series, a crossover blah blah blah. This won’t mean shit to me until it’s on a screen in front of me! If they don’t make something happen soon it will indeed be too late. Now is the time to put Bruce back in the role, not ANOTHER 10 years from now! So Raimi, listen up, don’t do more Evil Dead if you really don’t care about it anymore, because we still do. How fun is it dating someone you’re super stoked on who’s simply looking for something better to come along? Answer is it totally blows! So until the whole gang can get their heads out of their rear ends and come up with something solid that everyone involved is actually truly pumped on then I suggest just keeping your ideas to yourself at Comic Con. Ok, rant is done, now prove me wrong please! I can’t bear to watch another clip like this dammit!!

     

  • Cyclops, The Punisher and Slingblade vs. The Killer Grizzly!

    I’m pretty excited about this upcoming thriller called “Grizzly”! It was more recently known as “Endangered” then “Red machine” which I think is a better name, as many might think this is now a direct remake of the 1976 Grizzly bear horror flick of the same name(maybe it is?). I’m a pretty big fan of wilderness survival movies like “Black Water” which is a great realistic crocodile attacks flick, “The Edge” which was a pretty great wild Grizzly bear action flick, “Burning Bright” which was a neat-o trapped in the house with a savage tiger flick just to name a few. The premise is always pretty simple, totally believable and could actually happen to you(the tiger in the house scenario maybe not so likely)!

    Grizzly looks so good mainly because of it’s cast, Billy bob Thornton, James “Cyclops” Marsden, Thomas Jane and Piper Perabo. The  trailer looks like a damn good time and quite some time ago I saw of the special effects work of this movie, mainly the animatronics used for some of the grizzly sequences and it instantly made me keep close watch for this. More recently recently I saw some make up effects done on Billy Bob with his face totally mangled by the grizzly with his ear dangling, yet he’s still on the hunt and it’s pretty crazy! I think this one is going to be pretty intense.

    Well now it’s here, check it out!

  • The Incredible Hulk’s Sexual Frustration!

    I had to share this rad little clip from College Humor being a huge Hulk fan i totally dug this one-Great little comedy on Bruce Banner’s frustrating sex life!! Check it out!!!

  • Maxx FX: If the Ken Doll was a Bad-Ass FX Artist from the 1980’s!!

    A lot of people may have forgotten about Maxx FX from the eighties, or most likely never heard of the guy at all- and what a shame that is! Maxx Fx was the guy that Barbie would have ditched Ken for if she wasn’t a total lame-o back in 1989! Unfortunately Maxx had a short lifespan, and the special fx action figure / doll only had one official costume, that of horror icon Freddy Krueger!

    But if you’re a little confused let me put it this way the Maxx FX doll came with the clothing, the mask and accessories to transform him into Freddy. This awesome idea was not supposed to stop with Freddy, it was supposed to continue on with many more movie monsters, unfortunately Matchbox put the kibosh on the action figure early on.

    As the awesome Maxx Fx website states Maxx Fx was a make up artist and a crimefighter and could become anyone he wanted! I highly suggest getting the whole story and taking a look at what could have been with the entire toyline, it was a brilliant idea and Matchbox totally dropped the ball!! In the meantime enjoy this cool ass Maxx FX commercial from 1989! Eat it KEN! And Barbie you BLEW it!!

    This one too!

  • ‘Stitches’ Gives Freddy Krueger a Run for His Money!

    I finally checked out Stitches which I’ve been waiting some time to see as it finally arrived on Netflix watch instantly. If you’re a fan of old horror icons like Freddy Krueger or Leprechaun then this movie will NOT disappoint! This cool little Irish horror comedy has got a pretty awesome little plot, based on a bit of a cliche. Clown goes to kids party, mean kids ridicule clown, clown dies by way of something one of the kids does.

    Well though that seemed a little like previously trodded horror plot, the movie goes deeper into the evil clown mythos. It turns out that in this movie clowns get together in creepy dungeon like places and practice supernatural rituals. Which is one of the reason “Stitches” the clown comes back toget his revenge on this group of kids that are nowa bunch of jerk-off teenagers!

    The vibe of the flick kinda gave me that Freddy feel, as Stitches is a full on wise cracker and comes up with the most inventive ways to get his revenge on with these kids. You’ll see him use a bunch of supernatural clown gadgets and you’ll see some pretty impressive special fx here as well. The movie is also pretty damn funny, picture if the kids in American Pie were hunted by a crazed undead clown at one of their wild ass parties-that’s pretty much how this one plays out. I was pretty surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. It’s got a nice simple premise and it’s a perfect party flick, beer, weed and cocktails are a must for viewing! Check it on Watch Instantly on Netflix! I’m hoping for a sequel!

     

  • Captain America’s Costume for Lease: The Falcon Joins the Growing List of Cap Wannabes!!

    So it seems that ol’ Steve Rogers has got some problems again-as you all probably already know he’ll be passing the mantle of Captain America to he longtime buddy Sam Wilson, formerly The Falcon! Wilson arguably the first black superhero in mainstream comics, originally appearing in the late 1960’s and has been one of Cap’s best friends since. It seems Marvel’s trying to really shake things up there to generate new some interest, most recently, the company announced a new Thor that’d be a female version and also announced that Wolverine would be killed off in the coming months. Of course we all know, Wolverine will be back, Thor will be a man again and Steve Rogers will once again return as Cap, so really there’s nothing to lose here for Marvel, it’s not even a gamble in smallest possible way.

    captain_america_ml_140717_4x3_992

    But Man, Steve Rogers has a rough time being Captain America in the modern age doesn’t he? Being killed off in Civil War and having Bucky become the new Cap (I LOVED the Bucky version by the way) and now his super soldier serum being taken from his body?! Dang! Now Steve will operate from behind the scenes sitting at a desk as he’s now an old fogey! Ouch!! Anyway I think it’s a cool idea and I like the fact that the Falcon stepped to the plate to make some Cap history.

    From what I hear too is that Wilson won’t be giving up his wings either-a good decision. Plus a winged flying Cap is a cool idea. My question is why realistically would Wilson decide to be Cap when he’s already a legend in his own right? I guess it’d be like if Spider-man died and suddenly The Black Panther decided he was going to be the Spider-man?!

    Anyway there have over the years several others who’ve taken the role of Captain America besides Steve Rogers, here’s a list of the Cap wannabes!!

    My fave the Bucky Cap…

    3364694-captainamerica_50_cover

     

    Then there’s the Isaiah Bradley, version, considered the second incarnation of Cap, he’s also black, sorry Sam …

     

    The there’s William Naslund, also known as “The Spirit of 76”, he’s the 1950’s Cap with Fred Davis the second Bucky… (more…)

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week: Superman vs He-Man!! Who’s More MAN?!

    Check out this awesome cover way back from 1982, us kids had our wildest fantasies come true with Superman and The Masters of the Universe! As a kid we’d always be pondering important things like “Who’d win in a fight He-Man or Superman?!” Well our wish came true in the form of this comic book! Of course the only reason the two fight is because of Skeletor taking control of Superman’s mind-DUH! It was a damn good fight too! Now if only we could see He-man Fight the Hulk!!

  • Elvenking Brings The Power Metal Back to the Dungeon Again!

    I had to take a moment here to plug some new power metal that I’m really diggin’ at the moment! The new Elvenking album recently dropped and just as I was getting ready to write them off completely as a weak ass emo band, they bring us a super tuff new album in form of ‘The Pagan Manifesto’. The Italian band started out back in 1997 as a rad folk/power metal band and through the years shifted their style to something much more mainstream, even changing their look to something more like an emo mall metal band. They got some shit for their shift in appearance and sound, but now here they are in 2014 bringing back the fantasy themed metal the way it should sound when you’re fighting a vicious band of orcs on a trail in a wicked dungeon!

    It’s funny because in my D&D group we always play power metal stuff like, Blind Guardian, Iron Maiden & Rhapsody when we do battle-yeah cheezy I know, but it really does get the blood pumping and the natural twenties rollin’! If you play D&D give it a shot-your PC’s will dig it. Anyway, Elvenking has several awesome albums, like Heathreel, Wyrd & The Winter Wake. Check these guys out if you’re jonesin’ for some good catchy fantasy metal-here’s their latest video, my guess is that the band got hardcore into Game of Thrones and decided it was time to bring back the fantasy!

    Here’s another one of my faves from the album:

  • Son of The Dark Crystal: ‘Lessons Learned’ Brings Back the Magic!

    I am thoroughly bummed out that “Lessons Learned“, the short film by Toby Froud somehow slipped through my radar here undetected! Being a huge fan of Both Labyrinth & The Dark Crystal this film is on my must see list and Mr. Froud I find also lives right here in Portland, Oregon! Now that’s not even the most interesting part, Toby is kind of a legendary guy, his parents created the puppets and landscapes of The Dark Crystal & Labyrinth, but get this, he also starred in Labyrinth as the legendary baby that David Bowie kidnaps!!

     

    So these days he lives in Pdx and works on puppets at Laika Studios on movies like Paranorman and the upcoming Box Trolls.  Most recently however he’s completed his epic puppet short film, “Lessons Learned”, which was funded on Kickstarter. Now the film is complete and screenings are popping up. The movie looks pretty awesome & it really looks like it takes place in the same universe as The Dark Crystal!

    So check out this trailer for the film which he teamed with Heather Henson (Jim Henson’s Daughter)! I think if he could follow this up with a feature length film, in the same vein it would excite legions of people all over the world. Lessons Learned will screen again as part of the Portland Film Festival in August. For those not in Portland, it has been selected as part of FilmQuest in Salt Lake in July, and will possibly play at festivals elsewhere pending acceptance.