Universal Dork

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  • Doom Patrol #1: A Comic For A Dangerous Human?

    It’s been a long time since I picked up a DC title, a very very long while. However something inspired me to give Doom Patrol #1 from new DC imprint ‘Young Animal’ a shot. Young Animal is supposed to be like the edgier, quirkier, “indie” feel of the DC universe. It’s also self proclaimed as ‘comics for dangerous humans’. I guess what made me gravitate to try it was one of the several covers done by a personal favorite artist of mine, the legendary Brian Bolland and yearning for a cool superhero title to get into. So was this the answer I have been looking for? Is this storytelling really for “dangerous” humans?!

    I’d say this was a decent first issue, more cute honestly than dangerous but still an entertaining and at the same time, empty read overall. It wasn’t the type of debut that punches me in the gut or anything and honestly I’m not quite sure I will be back for seconds next month. It’s got some sweet art by Nick Derington and some really unique covers to choose from. The story is a bit confusing and wierd, which I assume is on purpose. I mean this is the new hip and quirky Young Animal comic book right? So it better deliver the goods!

    The story follows a young “quirky” (yeah that word again, I know) EMT named Casey Brinke and her partner as they rush across town in an ambulance to save a man’s life. It’s got an interesting moment where her partner analyzes the possibility of a separate universe happening inside of a gyro he’s eating. There’s also random explosions that happen around Casey who’s for the most part un-phased by the occurrences. There’s then a couple other random characters one hanging out inside of a abandoned building near a pile of bricks and another scene where a man in the woods is playing a keyboard. Then there’s a meeting of business men and women who’re from another planet talking about meat and Robotman being busted up into pieces by a garbage truck. There’s more random stuff that happens as well an I’m sure it will eventually make some sense and i’m probably not cool enuff to get it all. But you get the picture.


    The book and new DC line is headed by Gerard Way from the band My Chemical Romance, a band I really just can’t stand. I really wasn’t a big fan of his Umbrella Academy either. That being said I could still see this new ‘hip’ Young Animal line of Comics likely taking off, but for me thus far it just isn’t my cup o’ Joe. It might all click later down the line – Sometimes it’s hard to get hooked off of a debut issue &  I’d be willing to give the next couple issues a shot, but with the high price of comics I’m sure I could find something else to take a risk on.

  • Comic Cover of the Week: When Wolverine Was Still Badass!

    Remember when Wolverine was truly awesome?! No? Well it’s been a long while since Wolverine was a mysterious, weird looking, bar brawlin’, little runt with indestructible razor sharp claws. Now he’s Old Man Logan because X-23 is the female Wolverine. Now he’s been in a bunch of mainstream movies with a tall, hot, hunky leading man playing him. He’s been way overexposed over the years so Marvel could fully cash in on big time profits. He’s hardly a mysterious character anymore.  Wolverine is much like say, the band Metallica in 2016, a watered down, bland, tired version of the badass metal band they were in the 1980’s. Wolverine however didn’t always used to be this way believe it or not way back when he was the epitome of cool. He was so damn awesome back in the 1980’s even the indie comics couldn’t come up with a character who was half as kick ass as ol’ Logan. Yep  Marvel had their shit fully together and they knew it. Back in the 1980’s the X-men were something special and over the years they’ve become a gang of predictable, mega mainstream pop culture icons. Well back when Wolverine was a scary dude the X-Men was really the only place you could find this character monthly until 1989 when he finally got his own series. Here’s an example of how awesome the character was in the 80’s. Another amazing cover from the master Barry Windsor Smith….

     

  • Comic Review: The Forevers #1 Will Make You Fear Fame & Fortune…

    Here’s an interesting new comic book from Black Mask called ‘The Forevers’ due out in shops September 14th. It’s got quite an intriguing story set up in the debut. It follows a group of people hungry for fame, fortune & adoration who all perform a strange ritual together. They make a pact for life together. They Flash forward ten years and it seems their wishes have for the most part seem to have come true. They’re all living a life of success, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bed of roses. It’s actually quite the contrary as most of them living the dream are immersed in an ugly culture of wealth, drugs and meaningless relationships. It’s clear fame has changed them, but just how much?

    We’ve got a cast of pretty unlikable characters in the first issue and as one of them suddenly dies it sets their world into a bizarre mystery as a masked killer appears into their lives for reasons yet unknown. It’s an interesting premise and this debut shows this book has some potential to shape up into a unique read. However it felt a bit like a glimpse into the oddly pathetic and highly superficial lives of people like the Kardashians & the like of ego maniacal rockstars. So there’s not a real connect here for me thus far as most of these characters so far are totally un-relatable to me and I imagine will be for most others. This in a way could be the book’s strong point in the end and hopefully we’ll get some fleshing out of these characters that will indeed rope us in to actually giving a shit about what happens to their greedy asses. Perhaps with more flashbacks we’ll see exactly how they came to this point and that perhaps they weren’t always a gang of total d-bags.

    Now as far as the art goes I’m going to admit I’m not exactly a huge fan of this style. It feels a bit like it’s trying be a bit Bill Sienkiewicz or Jon Muth but ends up feeling like someone pulled up some shots of famous stars and copied them altering them via rotoscope. I could be wrong though, i’m not sure how people make modern comic books like this, but I assume there’s a computer involved for most of the process. It however might work here for the type of story trying to be told. Even though not being a big fan of the art I’d at the least check out issue #2 to see where this all goes. So far it’s a decent debut with some potential to bring us something unique to the table. So if you’re a bit bored with all those superhero titles this might spice things up a bit in your weekly journey to the comic book shop… 

  • Comic Review: Night’s Dominion #1 – A Medieval Magical Heist!

    Night’s Dominion is a brand new comic from Oni Press that came out today and the first issue is a pretty promising little start to what’s sure to be an epic adventure. I’ve been looking for a cool comic book to quench my thirst for fantasy adventure and stuff like Dungeons & Dragons for a while  now. Well this book could end my search with a strong first issue that’s a ton of fun & feels like the opening evening of a great classic game of D&D. The book is written and perfectly illustrated by Ted Naifeh. His artwork and rich colors are quite impressive as well, setting the tone of mystery nicely in this first issue. Excellent artwork is almost always a determining  factor of whether I’m gonna drop the cash for a new title. It’s also got some heft in the dialogue so it’s not a five minute blur which is always nice in this age of quick read comic books.  

    This debut issue essentially starts out much like most D&D campaigns, we’ve got a gang of interesting characters meeting in a dark, smokey tavern where an old bard proposes a dangerous journey in search of an ancient presumed treasure of legend. Of course it’s rumored this treasure is supposedly guarded by a menacing effigy. The group he proposes this to are an interesting bunch, a shady alchemist, his young assistant, an assassin and a bar maid who claims she’s secretly the greatest thief in all the kingdom.

    It also in a way feels like a superhero story set in a classic fantasy world as by the end of the issue you’re introduced to a character that reminds you more of Batman than Aragorn. I totally dig it to as I’ve always thought of The Fellowship in the Lord of the Rings  & the teams formed in a classic game of Dungeons and Dragons to feel much more like a midieval version of The Avengers. It’s also got some nice meat to it as well as interesting character motivations and cool subplots that drive the desire to get rich for this band of vagabonds.

    So if you’re looking for a strong, playful new title to pick up this week I think Night’s Dominion is a super solid offering. I’m feeling a bit of an Indiana Jones meets Lord of the Rings type vibe to the whole thing. if that’s the case then we’re dead set on a path to a ton of fun and hopefully it will take us on a memorable trek through some fantastic and dangerous landscapes. I’ll drop the four bones for issue #2 next month!    

  • Crystal Caves: Superman’s Real Life Fortress of Solitude?!!

    So we all remember Superman’s legendary Fortress of Solitude right? It was an amazing place that could only exist in the movies right? Well news to me there really is a place that’s more breathtaking than Superman’s secret mancave.

    Yep down in Donald Trump’s favorite place on earth, Chihuahua, Mexico you’ll find the largest crystal cave in the world with the largest crystals known to human kind. Sounds like a wonderful place huh? You might think this place would be a nice cool place to chill but it turns pout the caves temperatures reach around 140 degrees F, allowing for people to only be able to spend 10 minutes at a time in all of its sweltering beauty! check this shit out~!!

     

  • Best of VHS Box Art: Curtains and the Fear of Baby Dolls!!

    Do you remember some of the movies that really scared you as a kid? Well for me ‘Curtains’ from 1983 was one of those that I remember only seeing one scene from on an episode of ‘At The Movies’ with Siskel and Ebert way back when. In fact this particular scene today is still pretty damn creepy, the whole movie however…..um…well let’s just say you can probably skip this one. When I was a little kid I was super frightened of old vintage baby dolls, I mean they’re legitimately creepy right? Well my mom had a few that she kept sitting in her room all on an old rocking chair and I’ll admit I really was scared shitless of em’! My older brother would often play pranks on me with them, putting them in my bed at night or having one jump around the corner at me at any given moment. It was after we saw this clip form the movie Curtains that really inspired him to take it to the next level of freaking me out. Ahhh..the good ol’ days of being a kid.

     

    Well it just so happens that they decided to put the creepy ass baby doll (who’s really not in the movie much more than a minute) from the movie on the cover so that I can always be reminded of those freaky ass baby dolls of my youth. I’ll admit also this is a great VHS cover and it’s still likely to give me bad dreams. More recently I decided to face my fears and watch the movie for real and found that the movie itself is merely a third rate 80’s snooze of a slasher flick, however it does have that ONE scene that still to this day terrifies me! Of course Youtube has it all and here’s that exact fucking scene!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!

     

     

     

  • Movie Review: ‘Don’t Breathe’ Will Take Your Breath Far Away !

    This year has been a good one for hyper crazy thrillers that kick your ass all over the theater- seeing two movies so far that successfully beat the tar out of the audience. The first was the incredible ‘Green Room’ and second being ‘Don’t Breathe’ the new movie from Fede “Evil Dead” Alvarez. Let me tell ya his new movie released this last weekend is a nonstop nail biter! It lives up to the hype. It’s got the grimy goods and then some and you’re not likely to find anyone able to dose off during this crazy ass thriller.

    The story is simple, set in the desolate, barren areas of  Detroit Michigan, three young burglars plan to rob a down on his luck blind man who’s recently gotten a six figure payment for the death of his daughter. As you might guess things don’t go quite as planned because by now everyone knows blind people are all total badasses. I guess that’s the way it goes down in the movies anyway right? Well this particular blind guy should face off with Daredevil sometime cuz he’d likely give him a serious ass  whoopin!

    I really don’t want to give away much of the plot as it is full of some interesting twists and turns. What I will say is Alvarez pulls no punches here, much like his ‘Evil Dead’ reboot this one rarely gives you a chance to breathe, only this one to it’s advantage has a much more likable cast. It’s a dark and gritty tale that really excels because of it’s completely convincing actors and incredible set piece. Yeah, the blind man’s old decaying home is a perplexing dark labyrinth of nooks and crannies with plenty of surprises tucked away. You’ll never feel more frustrated about trying find an exit out as this one unfolds. This movie’s got one helluva “final girl” too played by Jane Levy, she’s definitely got the chops!

    The “villain” is played with amazing ferocity by Stephen Lang who’s hulking presence gives him an almost superhuman quality. It’s strange too how this movie turns the concept of facing off with a blind person into an incredibly menacing experience. You’d think the opposite but here the fact that he IS blind is one of the most terrifying things about the whole experience. Never has sneaking around been more nerve wracking! This is easily one of the most intense movie theater experiences I’ve had in quite some time.

    I highly recommend this one for people who like being on the very edge of their seats with a racing heart for 90 minutes. For those who can’t hack it this one definitely won’t give you the warm fuzzies. The movie isn’t really full of crazy gore or anything like that but it’s a tightly packed mega tense cat and mouse game unlike anything you’ve probably seen before. It’s really one giant epic battle. I’d also like to ad that this ones likely going to go down in history for making you never look at turkey baster the same. That I promise – check this out if you’re feeling like a challenge!  

     

     

  • Jonathan “Short Round” Ke Quan to Return for Indiana Jones 5 ?!

    Ok, so my title above is a bit misleading because as of right now there’s not currently rumors about Jonathan Ke Quan returning to the role of “Short Round” for the upcoming Indiana Jones Part 5. BUT let’s start that rumor here because maybe it will catch fire on the web and actually happen!

    So this whole idea really began the other evening when I saw the amazing 1991 movie ‘Breathing Fire’ starring Ke Quan as a teenage ass kicking kung fu machine. If you haven’t seen this movie and love his roles in Indiana Jones and Goonies you best check this one out asap. Seriously. Movies rarely reach level of pure fun and some great over the top kung fu! He even faces off against the legendary Bolo Yueng and it’s just jam packed with amazingly awesome & hilarious retro action cheeze. Seek this one out asap. The full movie can be found on Youtube.com!

    However I digress, Ke Quan’s acting career ended in 2002 with the Hong Kong sci fi feature film “Second Time Around” so he’s not exactly been focused on acting lately. As you can tell from the previous Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Speilberg is heavily focused on nostalgia from the previous films as one of the key moments is the return of Marion Ravenwood. So in this next installment how amazing would it be to have Indy once again team up with his buddy Short Round on another adventure?

    During filming ‘Temple Of Doom’, Quan studied Tae Kwon Do under film choreographer Phillip Tan. Something about the discipline of martial arts really appealed to him, so he began rigorously studying many different techniques. Once his acting career had become more quiet, Quan became an assistant fight choreographer to Hong Kong legend Corey Yeun on movies like ‘X-Men’ and Jet Li vehicle ‘The One’. Ke Quan now is 45 years old, has kept himself in great shape and could likely bring his seasoned martial arts exploits into the next Indy flick with pure adoration from longtime fans. He’s even been asked more recently from fans about appearing in part five answering with an enthusiastic “I don’t know!”. From what I understand he’s also down for a trip down nostalgia lane for the forever talked about Goonies sequel. So this here is all a real possibility considering Indiana Jones part 5 is indeed happening for sure.

    I’ve got high hopes for the next Indy movie, I enjoyed the last one but I’ll agree it’s far from perfect and nowhere near as classic as the first three. Still this next movie is likely Harrison Ford’s last as the character so Speilberg will get one last shot to right the wrongs of the last movie. Ditch the ridiculous CG you promised you weren’t going to use and give us something that truly feels like a classic Indy movie and please leave Shia Labeouf’s Mutt Willaims at home. Let’s feel the nostalgia and let’s see Jones & Short Round team up once again, I know that fans would flip their shit if this was worked into the movie and it’d make sense that a fully able, older Short Round could help Indiana Jones kick some butt this time as our aging main character likely needs all the help he can get this time around. What do you think? Would you like to see Johnny Ke Quan return? If so share this post and let’s make it happen!

  • Comic Cover of the Week: Swamp Things That Go Bump In The Night!

    Bernie Wrightson  is the king of the macabre and Swamp Thing was the perfect comic book for him to display his talent of  drawing all things that go bump in the night. If you have a monster that needs drawing Bernie is most definitely your man for the job! Here’s an incredible full cover featuring the Swamp Thing going head on with some dark creatures of the night way back in 1977. This is really a perfect example of why Bernie is one of the greatest comic book illustrators ever.

    Hopefully cinematic DC will take notes here when they begin ‘Dark Universe” with Doug Liman attached to direct. While most of the details are being kept under wraps, the plot revolves around a darker Justice League team that consists of John Constantine, Swamp Thing, Deadman, Zatanna and Etrigan the Demon. Hopefully DC won’t mess this up too. I won’t hold my breath but I’ve got to say I’m terribly disappointed that Guillermo del Toro is no longer attached to direct. But I mean really, how bad could they mess it up?! Hmmm…..

     

  • Can you Survive a ‘Night of Something Strange’ ?!

    I just saw the trailer for the super duper indie horror movie “Night of Something Strange” which is a total throwback to gory horror of the 1980’s. From the trailer, this one looks a cut above most of the other indie throwback style flicks being churned out on a shoe string budget. It follows a monstrous STD as it spreads amidst five teenage friends headed off on Spring Break vacation. The trailer looks like a ton of gory fun and of course it doesn’t hurt to have an awesome poster to accompany your movie.

    This one will likely make you think twice before sitting on that toilet seat in the restroom on your next road trip. It appears this one is making the horror festival rounds at the moment. If you’re in the Pennsylvania area you can check it out at the Indie Horror Drive In Fest September 16th in Vandergrift. How fun does that sound? I’m all in for cool indie horror films that actually look like they truly give a shit about  giving us something memorable. This one looks like a winner so far expect this one to be hitting the VOD circuit soon as well.