Universal Dork

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  • VIRUS: The Most Underrated SCI-FI Monster Movie of the 1990’s!

    I had to throw some props out there today for a rad flick that seems to get no love from anyone, “Virus” is a totally bad ass B-movie from 1999 and everyone needs to get down with it already! Chances are you’ve never seen this movie, but I recently watched it again the other night and it’s like ten times more awesome than I originally remembered it to be! The movie was actually hoping to be a big Hollywood hit, but it suffered at the box office and got totally panned by the critics. Apparently we were watching two different movies?!

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    Virus might be Jamie Lee Curtis’ best movie ever, however she claims it’s her worst and that she’s actually really embarrassed about appearing in it at all. I say totally WRONG Jamie! This is John Bruno’s only feature length movie he’s directed, otherwise he’s only done a handful of Star Trek: Voyager episodes and a Terminator 2  short film with James Cameron that was used at the T2: 3-D attraction at Universal Studios. Yeah I saw this one in person and it was a helluva good time!

    To me though VIRUS which is based on a Dark Horse comic of the same title is jam packed with stupid awesome action and a ton of cool ass robotic monsters! I was seriously surprised to find out after watching it that it was actually not made in the late 80’s as the special effects are largely practical and the small amounts of CGI are done pretty damn flawlessly. It goes to prove once again that practical and CG used together can have some magnificent results!

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    The story is pretty simple and borrows heavily from Alien, attempting at making Curtis the new Ripley. If you’re looking for substance you’re not going to find it here but if you’re looking for some gory gun blazing fun on a mysterious abandoned ship in the middle of the ocean then you’re in for a treat. Also this flick’s got a Baldwin brother and Donald Sutherland lending some of their least inspired acting chops. But actually I don’t know, does William Baldwin have any acting chops to begin with?!

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    Bottom line here, this movie is rad. I could watch movies like this one all damn day long.  It’s a ton of fun and once it gets going you’ll wonder why the hell it’s missing a cult following. So I’m gonna start the cult here today and hopefully make Jamie Lee Curtis eat her words on this one….

     

     

     

     

  • This Is The End: The Best Potty Humor Flick of All Time?

    I saw “This Is The End” this weekend and I’m gonna have to say it’s the best Potty / Dick humor movie ever made. Yeah, This is the End delivers a mass amount of dick jokes and pee pee humor galore, so much that by the end of the movie you wonder perhaps if Rogen & Goldberg wrote the movie when they were thirteen year olds. I can’t deny that this film will entertain the pants off you and probably have you laughing out loud but I ‘ve gotta say this brand of humor can get a little grating in an otherwise fine, gory and action packed flick. Maybe I’m just getting old but seeing a huge dick on everything for me loses it’s comedic power pretty quickly.  It was different in a film like Superbad. That aside I’m happy to say the movie was a damn good time.

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    Surprisingly this one actually does have a bit more to offer than a hundred dick & pee pee jokes. In fact this one does almost play out more like a Shaun of the Dead / horror comedy than I was expecting. It’s pretty much got it all, the usual (and in my opinion tired) stoner comedy, some cool monsters (with huge dicks of course), some gory special fx and a who’s who of “Apatowian” cast members to see meet their demise. One of the best moments being Michael Cera’s fate as the actor plays himself as quite possibly the most irritating human on the planet, snorting tons of coke, grabbing girls butts, getting blow jobs from random girls while continuously whining like a baby. One thing is for sure Cera hasn’t aged well. But it’s clear all involved were pumped to be poking fun at themselves. That’s where the movie does work as we get to see this ensemble get down and dirty. We get to see how a bunch of rich, privileged actors deal with an apocalypse or rapture in this case when they’re some of the last people on earth who for some reason haven’t been “saved”.

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    These guys clearly had blast with this one and perhaps that’s why in the end the movie despite all the dick, cum and pee pee humor and an a full on overload of product placement worked despite it’s terrible ending sequence. However this leads me to believe that this rivalry of the apocalyptic comedies is going to be easily won by Edgar Wright’s “The World’s End”. Hopefully he steers clear of the excessive dick jokes becuz Hollywood ain’t got room for any more big cocks this summer on the silver screen!

  • He’s Back: Arnold Will Be The Terminator Again & I Smell Disaster….

    It seems it’s confirmed Arnold will be appearing again soon as everyone’s favorite cyborg. It’s now been confirmed that he will be reprising the role as the killer/hero robot in the upcoming fifth film slated to begin filming in January. Sounds great on paper but I’m not so sure this one is gonna go over well onscreen. Arnold has aged significantly, even in Terminator 3 he was starting, in my opinion, to look a bit to aged to play the legendary role.

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    I originally thought he might be playing the creator of the T-800 in the next installment, which would make perfect sense but somehow it seems Hollywood just couldn’t resist trying to get him back in his original role. So what are they going to do about his, um, well..ahem changed face and physique? CGI over him? Not Cool. Just play the role the way he is now as an aged Terminator? Not believable. Heavy make up? Unlikely. A beat up Terminator with a ton of battle scars? Best option.

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    I can’t say I’m too excited about this announcement. I think there are roles that just don’t work for aging actors and this one here is a prime example. A Terminator is not supposed to age. We all saw how terrible Terminator Salvation was and how that CG Arnold stuck out like a sore thumb. So what do you think will be the solution to the old Arnold back in his classic role as a man machine that doesn’t age? Are you pumped for this next chapter?

     

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week: The Punisher Teamed Up With ARCHIE?!!

    What the hell is up with this here? The Punisher met Archie way back in 1994? Yeah it’s true, this one shot 48 page epic featured The Punisher hunting down a drug dealer named “Red” whose hiding in Riverdale! Frank Castle goes undercover at Archie’s school as a Gym class teacher and mistakes Archie for the similarly looking villain. What a feat of comic book genius! Hunt this one down folks because this was long before Archie met KISS or came out in support of gay marriage! I don’t care what people say Archie was always a cutting edge dude! I’d rather see the Punisher team up with Archie rather than Eminem any damn day….

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  • Wolf Cop Takes a Serious Bite Out of Crime!

    Damn, I was such a big fan of the original Teen Wolf that I just had to post this trailer for the upcoming Wolf Cop movie! This one looks right up my alley as we got a full on Werewolf cop running rampant around town fighting crime! This little Canadian flick, directed by Lowell Dean is shaping up to an awesome old school style 80’s horror comedy.

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    I’m a sucker for a fun werewolf flick and can’t wait for this one to drop! I’m happy to see people out there with original horror movies in the works rather than another tired remake. I may have to check out Eerie 13 as well, Lowell Dean’s first movie…

     

  • Cops, Robbers & Flesh Eating Witches!

    I’m a big fan of Alex de la Iglesia’s movies anyone who’s seen “Day of the Beast” or “The Last Circus” clearly knows that his movies always have something incredibly different to offer to whatever genre he’s directing. His new flick “Witching and Bitching” or otherwise known as “Las brujas de Zugarramurdi” ups the mayhem ten fold as this latest trailer will leave you breathless and perhaps a bit bewildered. There’s no subtitles on any of the trailers so far so check out this quick synopsis they offered as it will help in making sense of exactly what is going on in the trailer.

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    “Hugo Silva and Mario Casas play two hapless thieves, whose plan to rob a jewellery store unravels quickly when they have to bring one of their sons along, the ex-wife borrows the getaway car, they end up headed to France for Euro-Disney World instead of the planned Morocco, and they run into a coven of flesh eating witches in the Basque country.”

    Due in theaters internationally in Septemeber, I can’t wait for this one to be released here in the USA check this shit out…

  • Awesome Hero Initiative / Walking Dead #100 Cover by Local Chris Herndon!

    Had to take a second to give a shout out to Portland Oregon’s own Chris Herndon today as I just saw for the first time some artwork he did for The Hero Initiative 100 Project for The Walking Dead. The Hero Initiative is a charity dedicated to helping comic creators in medical and financial need, has drawn great acclaim for its “100 Projects” in recent years, in which 100 artists draw an original cover on a special anniversary issue. His artwork was for the shocking but otherwise rather dull milestone issue of The Walking Dead #100. Though I had my gripes about the issue itself it sure did generate some great zombie art!

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    Herndon is a rad up and coming artist who had his work cut out for him on this piece as he was artist and co-creator on the indie series ‘Living With Zombies’. He currently works on Terra Tempo, a dinosaur themed graphic novel series, so his cover idea for Walking Dead #100 was a perfect blend of both his past & present comic book works. Check it below and like his Facebook page before this guy hits the big time!
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  • ULTRA Lame Comic Book Cover of the Week: The Punisher & Eminem Team Up!

    I thought it’d be a good idea to showcase some real lame comic books that probably should never have been made! I don’t want to spend too much time on these abominations, but I do want to at least acknowledge that someone thought they’d be a good or “cool” as fuck idea to make. So the first one I want to spotlight is the Punisher and Eminem team-up! Yeah man Mr. Mathers is a good rapper but is he really that much of a bad-ass that we needed to see him team up with Frank Castle?! I think we all know the answer to that one but somebody thought he was cool enuff so we got this shit whether we liked it or not!

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    Yep, this really happened and it wasn’t that long ago either-in 2009 we got this stupid story which tries it’s hardest to make us all really believe Eminem can play hard ball with the big leagues. This comic and story just plain suck. You can watch the whole thing unfold below on this youtube vid! I think however this is going to a fun little series of comic books to research, there has gotta be some others that rival this garbage and I intend to find em’ all!

     

  • Mister Saturday Travels to the Land of the Lost……Riddim!

    I thought I’d share this new Mister Saturday track just posted up to Youtube yesterday. Yeah I know you’re still wondering who in the hell Mister Saturday is? Well in short it’s me. I started this little project years ago, where I’d take dancehall and instrumental hip hop tracks and rapping or DJ-ing (as it’s referred to in Jamaican culture) over them. I became a big fan of reggae dancehall when I was just a kid and always wanted to hear songs about stuff that I liked, like say The Incredible Hulk, Star Trek and Dungeons & Dragons. That stuff though isn’t real big in Jamaica so I decided what the hell, I’ll make my own songs about that stuff! Somebody had to do it. So I did it, and songs like the one below are the result. Nerdcore reggae dancehall.

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    I figured if MC Frontalot could invent nerdcore hip hop, then I could invent it’s reggae rappin’ counterpart. This track was an instrumental from 1985 called “Land of Rhythm” by Sly and Robbie the legendary riddim twins. I always thought it deserved some vocals so I added them, get out your break dancing attire, grab a spliff and boogie down! Subscribe to my Youtube channel to as I’m always adding more songs and vids! Been working on a live show with my partner in crime Ensly Mogul who also has been makin some wicked beats & riddims, now all I gotta do is get Frontalot or MC Chris to take me on tour with them!

    Lyrics:
    “The Land of the Long Lost Riddim”
    (more…)

  • Frankenstein’s Army: The Coolest Horror Flick of 2013?!

    Do you like cool monster movies as much as I do? If so Frankenstein’s Army looks like a total winner here in this most recent preview just released yesterday! I’m big fan of World War II horror movies and this one could shape up to be one of the best ones yet. To me this movie is looking like a great BPRD story arc filled to the brim with insane Nazi monster soldiers.

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    It appears that the Nazi’s have their own Doctor Frankenstein that’s constructing creatures with some pretty menacing weaponry melded to their bodies. The trailer is jam packed with action gore and some pretty outstanding fx.

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    I also read a pretty stellar review on BloodyDisgusting.com so this one is going to the top of my “to see list” pretty rapidly. Opening in select theaters July 26th I’m crossing my fingers this one hits a theater in Portland! Check this shit out!