So I recently found a copy of an 80’s monster movie I’d been trying to track down for years- Blue Monkey from 1987. One thing I totally dig is an awesome or even badly entertaining 80’s horror flick and with this one I was certain I’d found either a lost gem or at the very least a full on golden turd!! Well it turns out I was quite wrong on both guesses, after years of waiting I was quite disappointed to find out Blue Monkey is neither, but rather a total snooze fest that’s bound to put the kibosh on any movie nite party!!
The funny thing is for the first half hour this one delivers some serious promise, that’s the sad thing because after a strong opening you’re so damn sure this movie is going to deliver the goods and then some that it’s tough to give up on it! The basic premise is someone gets bit by a weird bug in an exotic greenhouse that causes big slug like parasites to emerge from the hosts mouth. When the person is taken to the hospital that’s when the “mayhem” begins and then quickly peters out into a movie that feels far, FAR longer than it’s 97 minute run time!! Yeah the first half hour has some cool gross out fx and even introduces us to a young Sarah Polley!
Aside from that there’s not much else to report, the rest of the movie features a shit ton of boring ass scenes of people walking around dark hallways and talking about a ton of shit my brain wasn’t willing to absorb. I watched this at a movie nite on a projector and as I looked around the room it was clear this movie was the fucking cure to the most intense case of insomnia!! I’d also like to add that there’s no blue monkey or anything related to a damn blue monkey in the whole damn film!!
Yeah people were nodding off and some I think got some nice zzzzz’s during most of the movies tiresome duration. When we finally get to see the monster mutant bug it’s just too little too late to give a damn. The only thing that kept this movie the least bit interesting were the two boozed up senior citizen patients at the hospital, and even the promise they showed waned pretty damn quick. The actual monster itself was actually pretty well done. If they’d have had the creature stalk people on and off during the loooong ass middle section of this movie it’d have been a helluva lot easier to sit through. Even adding a few of those “shadowy creature arm attacks and you throw some fake blood on a wall” type of scenes could have saved this one from being a full blown fucking sleep-aid!
I get really bummed out by movies like this, that with some clever editing, could have actually been a pretty fun little romp. It seems though the only thing this one succeeds at is being spectacularly boring, proving again the search for that lost 80’s horror gem is a tuff one. Every so often I’m proven wrong but usually if I haven’t heard of a movie being awesome from the 70’s or 80’s by the year 2017 there’s usually good reason! I’m glad the wait is over though with Blue Monkey, even though it was a total turd, it’s one I can happily cross off the list. This one never got a proper DVD release and now it’s finally clear why…you’ve been warned!!
I love From Beyond! It’s one of Stuart “Reanimator” Gordon’s best movies in my opinion. It’s super fun tale based on the classic H.P. Lovecraft story of the same name. There’s a ton of awesome special fx and monsters a’ plenty in this weird ass horror classic. Well this kick ass movie also has one heckuva cover to go along with it showcasing the villain of the movie as he’s transforming into on of the best 80’s movie monsters of all time. The premise of the story is genius as we explore the mysterious pineal gland and quickly discover that just because you see empty space all around you it doesn’t mean it’s not filled with some truly nasty entities. I’ve always loved this cover, it’s a perfect representation of what made the vhs box art of the 1980’s so damn memorable! I think it may be time to dust off my copy of this one!
Here’s one of my favorite covers and 80’s creature features- Razorback! Yeah Razorback is a classic monster movie, like Jaws in the outback. It’s filmed beautifully and it’s the king of the big pig movies. I’ve always really loved the ominous cover art and unlike a lot of 80’s movies their cover art can be eons better than the actual movie. Well that simply ain’t the case here, Razorback delivers on all four cylinders. Great monster effects and a stunning Australian backdrop make this one king of the pigs. The beautifully painted cover was done by Aussie artist Brian Clinton, released in 1985 this one still holds up today and clearly so does it’s cover art!
There are movies way back from when I was a kid that I never thought would see the light of day on dvd. I’ve fond memories of going to the video store (back in the 1980’s when everything was VHS or Beta!) on the weekend and picking out movies with my friends on our parents video store cards. Mostly what I remember most are the amazing VHS box cover art from the 1980’s and how excited I was to get back home and watch the movies! We had to be sneaky around our parents because a lot of these movies they would’ve never allowed us to watch. It’s funny to, looking back because most of these movies we were sneaking around with were incredibly cheezy horror, action or sci-fi flicks that most people today think are nothing more than laughable cinema. To us though that shit was fully legit!
So years have passed and many of those flicks have been forgotten right? WRONG!! Thanks to Shout! Factory we are getting a LOT of those classic movies released now on DVD! I recently had some extra money to blow and found two movies I’d thought would remain on VHS only forever. However not only did they have them both on DVD but they also came with three other movies each that I have never seen before, but fondly remember their cover art from back in the 1980’s!! First up is one of my faves as kid, The Eliminators!
This movie was featured a couple times at our Bad Movie Nights we have here in Pdx and it delivers the goods above and beyond every damn time! If you are looking for the ultimate movie to get wasted with your friends and laugh (and love at the same time) this is IT!
The DVD of this one also includes three other movies which I have never seen, “Arena” from 1989, America 3000 from 1986 & The Time Guardian from 1989. So for a mere $9.99 you’ve got quite an exciting quadruple feature!!
Second I found that they released “The Dungeonmaster” from 1985 which was also one of my all time favorite movies as a kid. Being eleven years old and seeing this one for the first time back then was a real treat. The movie is downright ridiculous but it’s jammed to the brim with stop motion monsters, puppets, animatronics, crazy action, adventure, Richard Moll in a cloak & a rock and roll battle against the heavy metal band W.A.S.P.!
This one should really be viewed as a double feature with Eliminators but the DVD also features 3 other flicks two of which I have never seen before! “Cellar Dweller” from 1988 which is a pretty cool little monster flick, “Catacombs” and “Contamination 7” from 1993. So if you love those old video store movies of the 1980’s as much as I do but don’t have a VHS player or access to these on video do yourself a favor and spend some time exploring the Shout! Factory website!