Tagged: the winter soldier

Cinematic Captain America: The Greatest American……..Virgin?!

I’ve been thinking about this since I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier in theaters, it’s like a big elephant in the room at this point! We just have to address this, the movie Captain America is most definitely still a gosh darn virgin!! Am I wrong?! Nope! Movie Cap was born in 1918 so technically he’s a 96 year old virgin-It’s been three movies that this Cap portrayed by Chris Evans has been in, one being The Avengers and thus far Cap, though quite popular with the ladies since he got his muscles, has gotten ZERO action, aside from a few random smooches! Daaang!

So I think a great plot point of the next Captain America movie must be him finally losing his damn virginity already! I could see this being an incredibly funny moment being discussed by him and his fellow Avengers at a bar over a few beers and I can already imagine a ton of jokes involving Tony Stark, Banner and Thor about this. Now though the bigger question is who’s going to be his first?! Let’s face it Cap is quite the goody two shoes, so he may benefit from a more edgy lady like The Black Widow, or could go old school with Agent Carter (well that might be a bit weird), or maybe he’ll hook up with that SHIELD agent he was talking about?

The Avengers are in serious need of some options for the guy, Black Widow is hot and all but let’s face it she’d tear this momma’s boy’s heart to shreds! Or maybe Cap hasn’t come out of the closet yet?! Maybe he and Bucky will hook up?!! Either way it’s been too many decades for the guy, he’s gotta be feeling some serious sexual frustration at this point with all that super soldier serum pumping him up too, whatever the case he better make sure the big moment is worth the wait….

"Uggh...I can't focus on a word Fury is saying with this raging boner I've had since we made out in that mall earlier!!"

“Uggh…I can’t focus on a word Fury is saying with this raging boner I’ve had since we made out in that mall earlier!!”

Captain America’s Costume for Lease: The Falcon Joins the Growing List of Cap Wannabes!!

So it seems that ol’ Steve Rogers has got some problems again-as you all probably already know he’ll be passing the mantle of Captain America to he longtime buddy Sam Wilson, formerly The Falcon!¬†Wilson arguably the first black superhero in mainstream comics, originally appearing in the late 1960’s and has been one of Cap’s best friends since. It seems Marvel’s trying to really shake things up there to generate new some interest, most recently, the company announced a new Thor that’d be a female version and also announced that Wolverine would be killed off in the coming months. Of course we all know, Wolverine will be back, Thor will be a man again and Steve Rogers will once again return as Cap, so really there’s nothing to lose here for Marvel, it’s not even a gamble in smallest possible way.

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But Man, Steve Rogers has a rough time being Captain America in the modern age doesn’t he? Being killed off in Civil War and having Bucky become the new Cap (I LOVED the Bucky version by the way) and now his super soldier serum being taken from his body?! Dang! Now Steve will operate from behind the scenes sitting at a desk as he’s now an old fogey! Ouch!! Anyway I think it’s a cool idea and I like the fact that the Falcon stepped to the plate to make some Cap history.

From what I hear too is that Wilson won’t be giving up his wings either-a good decision. Plus a winged flying Cap is a cool idea. My question is why realistically would Wilson decide to be Cap when he’s already a legend in his own right? I guess it’d be like if Spider-man died and suddenly The Black Panther decided he was going to be the Spider-man?!

Anyway there have over the years several others who’ve taken the role of Captain America besides Steve Rogers, here’s a list of the Cap wannabes!!

My fave the Bucky Cap…

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Then there’s the Isaiah Bradley, version, considered the second incarnation of Cap, he’s also black, sorry Sam …

 

The there’s William Naslund, also known as “The Spirit of 76”, he’s the 1950’s Cap with Fred Davis the second Bucky… Continue reading