Tagged: monster

The Top 10 “Stranded On An Island” Movies….Part 2!!

So my first entry I did on the top ten “stranded on an island” movies has easily been my most popular post here at Universal Dork, sooooo naturally I am giving a sequel to it right here, today! I simply love the idea of being castaway to a remote island, far away from the bustle of everyday life. There’s something about this idea that has always captivated audiences and it remains to be a situation I often think about every damn time I get on an airplane. So let’s not waste any time and get right to one of the most romantic, exciting and frightening movie topics of all time. It’s time to take a look at the other movies that deserve to be on this epic list!

10. Swept Away, 2002

Yeah this list is going to have some cheezy ass movies on it and this one here is a guilty please to start it off.  It’s also likely the most well known of the bunch. Of course this movie was a box office mega bomb and totally panned by the critics.

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However if you’re looking for a fun time on a stranded island with the legendary icon Madonna then look no further!

9. The Last Flight of Noah’s Ark, 1980

Here’s an interesting Disney movie with Silver Spoons star Ricky Schroder – Bonus right there folks! It seems that Disney was all in on the whole desert island theme as this was just one of quite a few that follow a similar storyline.

While this movie isn’t bound to blow your mind it’s got a pretty cool premise of flipping a B-29 bomber over on it’s back and sailing it to civilization! Continue reading

Rowdy Roddy Piper’s Mini H.P. Lovecraft Adventure!

I’m sure a ton of people out there have already seen this neat little trailer for the short film ‘Portal to Hell’ featuring the late great Roddy Piper but just in case you missed it check it out here. I really can’t wait to see the whole thing! This little trailer puts Rowdy front and center and gives him a role he should have had years ago like he did in movies like ‘They Live’ and ‘Hell Comes to Frogtown’.

The plan was for this short film to eventually lead to a feature length movie but it was never to be as Roddy sadly passed last year. Even though ‘Portal to Hell’ is only eleven minutes long I still can’t wait to see it. Piper has a few more full features scheduled to be released in supporting roles but this here looks as it really was set up to be a sort of tribute to Piper’s legacy. Putting Roddy into an almost ‘Evil Dead Ash’ type of role. It’s shown at festivals but hasn’t seen a proper release thus far. Check out the trailer and hopefully this short film will be available for us all to see soon!

 

 

 

Freaky Friday Night at The Movies: 3615 code Pere Noel & Howl!!

I’ve been doing little movie nights at my shop Hollywood Babylon here in Portland, Oregon quite regularly now and I thought it’d be cool to start doing reviews of the flicks that we watch. I’ve gotta say investing in a projector is really one of the best things you can do if you’re a movie buff! The shop transforms into a mini theater and we can get as rowdy as we want! Often we try to pair an old and new movie together in hopes of ultimate cinematic bliss which is a hard task when you’re often trying to view something that’s new to everyone there. So last night seemed promising as we started off with a rare french flick from 1989 called:

                                            “3615 CODE PERE NOEL” aka DEADLY GAMES, GAME OVER

What a treat this one was, I had meant to get this one this year for Christmas but it’s a hard one to track down at least with English subtitles or in real physical form. I don’t do the whole online downloading very often so I went to Ioffer.com which is your best bet for finding really rare movies “on DVD” unfortunately it didn’t arrive quite in time for Christmas this year.

3615 code Pere Noel or as it’s also known as “Deadly Games” is a total gem of a basically lost and forgotten 1980’s french holiday horror movie. The movies plot is simple and awesome. There’s a poor weird bearded guy who’s wandering the streets looking for children to “play” with during Christmas time and he lands himself a job at big time department store as their Santa Claus. Bad move because this dude is bat shit crazy and it’s not long before some little kid sitting on his lap tells him him she “doesn’t like his face”.

This sends him into an abusive rage which ends up getting the weird dude fired and sets him on course to our protagonist’s giant castle mansion. Yep the hero of this film is one cool ass nine year old kid who lives in a crazy mansion that’d make Ricky Schroder from Silver Spoons jealous! Continue reading

Archangel Disappoints in New X-men: Apocalypse Trailer!

I really don’t like to be negative here at Universal Dork but having seen the new X-men: Age of Apocalypse trailer, the one character I was most stoked on seeing in this movie has suddenly become the biggest disappointment of the first trailer.

Archangel

Archangel is hands down one of my favorite characters in the Marvel universe, when Angel made the transformation into this character in the 80’s he became one of the most deadly X-men of all time. One who could suddenly go toe to toe with the likes of Wolverine and Sabretooth. Warren Worthington had such a cool look too that really separated him from the cute, cuddly, handsome look of the classic Angel.

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Well it seems that Bryan Singer decided to keep Warren looking like the beautiful blonde Angel (with a bad hair cut to boot) in the role of Acrhangel rather than the dark deadly blue skinned killing machine he’s been portrayed as in the comic books. He looked even more sinister when he joined the ranks of X-Force not too long ago.

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This is a minor gripe, if you’re not a huge fan of the character but Archangel’s story is quite compelling too and goes hand in hand with Apocalypse. His physical transformation is incredibly important to the potency of the characters emotionally dark & heavy backstory.

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Warren was transformed into freaky looking killing machine and had to come to terms with his odd appearance, he was no longer the handsome angelic superhero everyone had always been so fond of.

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So yeah, I’m a bit disappointed with this movie version of Archangel, I like his wings and his suit is decent, but once again Hollywood for some reason has tried to fix something that was never broken. It seems we’ve just got to keep the sex appeal of the star in a Hollywood movie rather than stay true to his comic origins. I’ve still got high hopes for this movie however the excitement around Archangel has died..

 

 

Comic Book Cover of the Week: Don’t Fear The Man-Thing!

I’ve gotta say I just fucking love The Man-Thing! So here’s a great comic book cover, an oldie but goodie! This rad cover features a truly frightening scenario of our favorite swamp dwelling superhero as some unsuspecting couple from the 70’s stumble upon The Man-Thing! Damn I mean can you imagine opening the door and seeing that guy standing there! I’m still hoping we’ll get to see a kick ass version of Man-Thing in a Marvel movie. They attempted it once with less than stellar results, but get the right FX team behind the Man-Thing and you could have one amazing creepy ass horror hero! Check this rad classic cover by Gil Kane!

 

Cool New Monster Movie Trailers!!

I had to take a few moments to post a few really cool monster-centric trailers I’ve seen recently, hands down my favorite type of movie-first up is “A Monster Calls” which kinda feels like the brother film to Pan’s Labyrinth.

Check out this trailer if you haven’t already. It’s directed by Juan Antonio Bayona who also did the wonderfully creepy flick The Orphanage, this one won’t be out until October of 2016:

And now a little change of tone with “Lumberjack Man” a crazy probably idiotic supernatural slasher flick that’s got a deranged lumberjack who carts around giant pancakes and is in hot pursuit of bible campers blood to use as pancake syrup!

 This one looks like a good stupid time and is out now all over the interwebz:

Next is a movie called “The Hallow” which has a family out in their cabin in the woods of Ireland facing off with pissed off fairy tale like creatures.

The trailer looks pretty awesome filled with some incredible visuals and super creepy creatures- Sign me up! This one is already released here this month in the USA and can be rented online all over.

Last we’ve got “Howl” a cool ass looking werewolf movie set on a train! The trailer looks awesome and Paul Hyett who did all the special effects in the Neil Marshall movies The Descent and Dog Soldiers is responsible for what you see here in Howl!

It also features Shauna Macdonald who starred as the lead in The Descent & Sean Pertwee from Dog Soldiers in this one-gotta love a great werewolf flick I hope this one tops that list…No release date yet here for the USA.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VHS Verdict: ‘The Kiss’ is Full of Campy Glamorous 80’s Horror!

I pulled out a pretty sweet VHS the other night called ‘The Kiss’ and it totally delivered the goods! This cool 1988 flick is not exactly what I’d call a great movie by any means but it definitely delivers the just right amount of inventive charming cheez to please any true fan of 80’s horror. I’d say this movie also gives us a genre I’d like to coin here as “glamour horror”. The movie follows a suburban family as they cope with the sudden and mysterious death of their mother. Soon on it’s clear some serious paranormal foul play is afoot as the flick opens with a bizarre scene on a train in the Belgian Congo set back in the 1960’s and involves you guessed it “a kiss” that seems to carry with it some sort of crazy ass occult voodoo charged curse. 

Well things get weird after the mom dies her gruesome death and we see her truly odd but totally glamourous cover girl sister burst onto the scene seemingly out of nowhere. The motherless daughter played by total 80’s babe Meredith Salenger, whom you may recognize as the object of affection in “Dream a Little Dream” immediately gets a bad feeling from her new Auntie played by Joanna Pacula (the classic 80’s model-babe), while her father seems to be pretty down right away with her basically moving in and THEN some!

Yeah from that point it become a bit of a erotic thriller for a moment as she seduces the Dad and starts stalking the daughter and her new cool guy boyfriend. This one really could’ve been edited down about 15 minutes to keep the story moving a little quicker but if you hang in there ’til the half way point things really start cookin’.

Yep this one gets pretty damn awesome, jam packed with ridiculous voodoo, a crazy ass demonic cat and some good solid 80’s gore. The third act of the film is where this one really delivers, the final showdown is pretty awesome and action packed. It’s a great suburban family battle against the glamour gal, a over the top ferocious puppet cat and the ridiculously awesome creature behind or should I say “inside” it all.

This is one of those cheezy gems that make me love collecting vhs tapes, the 80’s was a great era for horror and this one seems to have slipped under the radar for many-so seek this out and get ready for some campy fun that was meant to be a serious affair!

Calling ALL Fans of John Carpenter’s ‘THE THING’!! Sign This Petition!!

I’ve bitched and moaned here about my complete and utter disappointment for the 2011 version of ‘The Thing’, the prequel to Carpenter’s classic 1982 monster movie! To refresh your memory we were originally promised a movie that would not only be a prequel but also give us the same style of mind blowing practical creature effects the awed us way back in ’82. Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ in my opinion is maybe the best creature feature of all time.

Yeah effects wizards at ADI (Amalgamated Dynamics Inc.) spent a ton of time and effort creating some truly astonishing practical creature FX for the movie only to have nearly ALL of them omitted from the final theatrical version of the film. Instead they gave us fans exactly what we DID NOT want, a bunch of slick, fake looking CGI in it’s place. This was a nightmare come true for all fans of the original. Well now it seems that that someone has decided to create a petition directed straight at the CEO of Universal Pictures Ronald Meyer. The petition is asking for what the fans wanted all along, the release of the work print of the 2011 film with all of the original practical monster effects that ADI worked so hard to bring us fans of the original!

This is a superb idea and something i have wondered about for so long. What would that film have looked like in it’s original form? Well now it’s time to demand that we see the film we were promised! If you’ve seen some of the Youtube videos of these FX then you know how incredible this movie just may have been!

So all of you Thing fans out there please take a minute to sign this petition and lets get the version of the prequel we all had been hoping for once and for all you can sign the Change.org petition right HERE! What are you waiting for?!  

VHS Verdict: ‘The Unholy’ Brings Those Pesky 80’s Demons to Church!

Here we have a rather rare VHS I ran across recently while doing some major thrift store shopping up in the north woods of Wisconsin! The Unholy is a pretty neat-o piece of 1980’s demon church cheeze! This is the kind of movie I really enjoy stumbling across.

The Unholy was released in 1988 and tells the story of a Father Michael (Ben Cross) who’s appointed to a church in New Orleans where two priests where murdered two years before. The movie’s pretty dang fun over all, giving you a ton weird ass 80’s goth night club types who perform violent looking mock rituals while the priest investigates the scenes in the New Orleans cult underground. If you’re intrigued by the over the top fashion and nightlife of the 1980’s you’ll dig this.

Of course Father Michael’s going to be ‘tempted’ by some rather ‘unholy’ racy, 80’s style, sexy situations by this demonic force running amuck. Yep this powerful sexy demon goes by the name “Desederious” and spends most of the time trying to seduce Father to the side of the Devil. Too bad Father Michael, despite being a priest doesn’t believe in demons or the Devil!

Ok now this is some scary shit.

Well it doesn’t take long before his mind is changed once weird shit begins occurring around the church! This one does drag a bit during the middle with a bit too much jibber jabber going on that quite honestly I could give two shits about. I mean c’mon let’s get on with this shit and have a demon battle already! Well thankfully the third act of this movie is pretty satisfying as a fan of 80’s monster movies this one gets pretty good once Desederious shows her true form and Father Michael loses his sex drive pretty damn quickly!

Yep we get some pretty fun little pesky mini demon minions running around and Desederious looks pretty ridiculously awesome in her true demon form running around on all fours. I mean if I saw that fucking weird ass thing appear in a dark alley I’d most definitely run for the hills while peeing my pants!

‘The Unholy’ has a pretty decent cast, we even see Ned Beatty show up here, we get some fun as hell classic special effects and sweet 80’s fashion. if you can get through about 25 minutes of rather boring dialogue in the middle the third and final act will surely deliver the goods!! Seek this one out if you can and if you’re a true fan of C-movie 80’s horror!

Comic Book Cover of the Week: The Hulk’s Vintage Magazine Career!!

So this week I wanted to take a trip down memory lane and showcase some of my favorite comic covers that are actually covers from the Hulk’s magazine career back in the late 1970’s. There were two, The Rampaging Hulk and The Hulk were both in magazine format and usually featured back up stories from lesser know superheroes or extra’s on the Hulk and many times his villains. These were extra special because the covers were almost always super spectacular paintings of the big ol’ green guy! So here a re some of my favorites check em’ out-they just don’t make em’ like this any more! These are truly INCREDIBLE!