I’ve been hearing lately that the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ movie franchise is going to again be rebooted after the shit show of the Michael Bay era of the reptilian heroes in a half shell. So it sparked me to revisit the original 1990 movie the other night which I hadn’t seen in probably 20 years or so. I was amazed at how well that movie has aged, seeing it in theaters back in the day I’d enjoyed it but kind of dismissed it as “kid stuff” at the time as my older brother in the 1980’s collected the original indie comic series and I’d had the chance to read them as a kid. If you’re aware of the TMNT early beginnings you’ll remember that it started off as a dark, gritty & violent comic series. I was blown away back then at the sheer oddity of the characters and the equally bizarre story lines of the originals. When I decided to revisit the 1990 TMNT film I’d forgotten just how dark that original movie actually is, especially considering today’s climate of safe moviemaking. The movie is almost closer to an R-rating than it’s original rating of PG. There’s kids smoking & drinking alcohol, robbing people, the foot beating up April O’neil, Raphael beaten into a near coma by The Foot and a badly beaten and bloodied up Splinter strung to a fence. It’s actually a pretty dark and gritty movie with the addition of the comedic surfer dude Turtles to lighten things up.
So currently we’ve got these new “TMNT” flicks, a big bloated Michael Bay produced, soul-less mess of CGI, uninspired storytelling and poor character development. The current franchise just hasn’t been connecting with fans the way they’d hoped, mainly with the amount of money that the films have made. Now they’ve got plans for a brand new reboot and it’s never been more clear just what this franchise needs to do: go old school.
So first off let’s address the obvious big issue, imo the latest Michael Bay era CGI Turtles look terrible. They’re massive 8 foot tall green hulking humanoid turtles with creepy ass faces and not in a good way. Compare the newest incarnations with the very original designs. They couldn’t be more opposite. Even the Turtles of the 1990 movie do essentially look pretty much like what you’d hope for, sure they’ve been made much cuter but they stay fairly true to the original vision. So let’s face the facts, the original designs of the 80’s weren’t broken so why try and modernize them by making them the opposite of what they were intended to look like? Bring back the smaller classic versions of these characters, go simpler with their general design. It’s a lot easier to digest and most definitely not rocket science folks.
Next I’d say you could go the similar route that many movies are taking by making the next movie a direct sequel to the original or at least setting the movie in the late 80s’ or early 90’s, it’s clear people love that era of film today (Stranger Things, IT anyone?). That being said bring back the suits!! Put real actors in real costumes with modern day animatronics the Turtles could look absoluterly mind blowing. The 1990 movie Turtles STILL look great and that was with a micro budget of 13.5 million dollars for the whole damn film. What they could do now would be incredible, we all want to believe that the TMNT are actually living breathing creatures and the latest movies sadly look like fakey cgi rendered cartoon characters inserted into the “real world”.
Lets get real here and let’s keep the budget low, we don’t need a TMNT movie to be on the scale of an Avengers film, we need a smaller more personal, more heartfelt movie with high stakes like the original. Next let’s get some real martial arts, real choreography and some real stunts again. One thing that blew me away revisting the 1990 movie was the actual real on screen martial arts that were displayed, it was pretty amazing actually and I’d love to see something in that vein in a brand new Turtles movie. It’d be like nothing out there in the mainstream that’s for sure. Lastly I’d love to see a darker more serious storyline, of course an “R-rated Turtles” movie would be my first choice, one that evokes the original comics would be absolutely insane. However, I know that’ll never happen so I think at the very least going as dark as the original movie would be more than good enough. Let’s see the Turtles roaming the city streets at night, jumping from rooftop to rooftop and roaming the dank sewers. Bring on the amazing real life set pieces, puppets and crazy creatures once again, I think fans would go bonkers for a throwback style TMNT. However I doubt Hollywood has the courage to try something as unique and inspired as the original movie. What do you think?!
Maybe I’m out of the loop here but I recently discovered this whole Marvel Universe Live! thing by accident on Youtube! Anyway this is like a dream come true for the 10 year old me…..and… the current day me too it seems!
Well Marvel is all the rage these days with all of the movies still drawing absurd amounts of money so this here I guess isn’t that much of a surprise I suppose. The whole Marvel Universe Live is like Ice Capades but jam packed with Marvel Comics characters both popular and rather obscure-minus the ice skates. This has become a touring show and this trailer was was recently released check this shit:
Looks pretty fly huh? Well check out this live footage of The Hulk looking pretty awesome & doing some serious battle! Now THIS is fun:
The whole thing follows a story loosely inspired by the movies but we get a bunch of villains as well as a more classic look of costumes ripped from the classic comic books!
Anyway call me crazy but this looks like damn good albeit totally ridiculously stupid time, so check your local listings because Marvel Universe Live is on tour now! It look s like it costs around 25 bucks. It hits my city, Portland, Oregon March 3-6th at the Moda Center!
Dang, sometimes I reaaaallly miss the 1980’s! They were such a fun time to be a kid especially around this time of year for the Halloween season! So here’s a little totally radical blast from the past, an awesome 1980’s horror hotline 1-900-Monster!! Yep back in the 80’s we had to be super creative because we didn’t have shit like smart phones and the internet to distract us 24-7! If we wanted to spend our time obsessing over a telephone it was over shit like 1-900-Monster and it was a parents worst nightmare-because this shit was expensive-it was 2 bucks for the first minute and an additional 50 cents every minute after that! Yeah and once you got a demon on the phone you better believe you were gonna listen to what he had to say!! Check this awesome vid out and stick around for the incredible short Halloween segment that follows, ah the memories…
Somebody call the Oprah-cuz we need to get these Bryan Singer Mutants in for an Extreme Makeover! Now I’m sure that I’m going to enjoy Bryan Singer’s X-Men: Days of Future Past. I’m fully confident that it’s going to be maybe one of the best superhero flicks we’ve yet to see. I have good faith in Singer’s ability to bring some magic to the franchise he started. A reunion of sorts is almost always very exciting!
One thing though I’ve been noticing with all of these recently released photo stills from the upcoming movie is that their costumes are really starting to look…well….stupid. Frumpy maybe is the word? I’ve never been a huge fan of the whole slick cool guy black leather X-Men movie look but I’ve tolerated it. I will even say it worked for a while. However some of these costumes just look plain sad.
Maybe it’s just me? These costumes just don’t make the cut! At this point I’d really love to see a more classic look attempted. What would be the harm? It is a fictional comic book based movie. So why can’t we get a little more of the comic book in the look? I mean the costume’s colors could be way toned down. It doesn’t have to look all early 90’s Jim Lee or anything. I mean really this is the BEST they could come up with for Quicksilver? This is some wretched bullshit. He looks like a total tool. Somebody slap this guy now!
If this is the type of shit that we’re getting at this point in time I don’t see what the harm would be to try and give the X-Men their actual comic book costumes! It surely couldn’t get any worse than this! This is where The Avengers and the Marvel movies have gotten it right, The Avengers actually look like The Avengers! It worked! So why the hell can’t Fox get this shit dialed in? I think it’s time that we see the X-Men the way they were meant to be. At this point what’s there to lose? One of the main reasons I love comic books super heroes is because of their costumes.
I honestly can picture something like this being done today tastefully. So get with it Hollywood because your X-Men are in need of a serious makeover….