Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: 1988, bad movie night, DVD, film, greydon clark, Horror, house cat, kitty, Movie, mutant, night shadows, review, uninvited
The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!
The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!
Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80′s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!
We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.
Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….
Filed under: comedy, Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: AMC, comedy, edgar wright, Horror, juan of the dead, Movie, new, review, season three, shaun of the dead, the walking dead, upcoming, zombie comedies, zombieland
I just watched two upcoming “buzzing” zombie comedy movie trailers and I had to take just a moment of your time to say please stop!! Enough!! Please god…stop with the zombie comedies already!!! Better yet just stop with the whole zombie thing altogether! Ok you know we have all seen Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive, Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, American Zombie, Fido, Dance of the Dead, Zombies of Mass Destruction, Doghouse, Zombie Strippers, Zombie Honeymoon, Undead, Blah Blah Blah Blah….Jeez! I kinda just want this whole zombie craze to disappear.
Aside from The Walking Dead Comic and TV series (which I am finally getting slightly tired of) this craze needs to die and stay dead at least for ten years or so. People you’re not going to make a better zombie comedy than Shaun of the Dead so please stop trying! Make some other comedy please, I know how much you liked Dead Alive but you know what? The world doesn’t need another one of your goofy unlikely fanboy hero nerd starring zombie comedies-the market is full, overflowing and more dead than punk rock. I wonder am I the only one? Because even the zombie comedies that look kinda good I just don’t care to sit through anymore!
This one here “Juan of the Dead” which is opening at a theater down the street from me just don’t excite me! Really now “Juan of the Dead”? Uggh….
Yeah it doesn’t really look too bad huh? Too bad I was interested in seeing this movie six years ago!!!
Oh and I was on Ain’t It Cool and they had this one written up called “A Little Bit Zombie” a quirky offbeat zombie comedy with the same stupid characters that you saw eight years ago back when these characters were kinda funny actually…Ok so I will admit the poster is pretty cool, but really folks do we really need to waste more time sitting through more shit like this?
Maybe I am crazy but I don’t care how RAD your zombie comedy is I have seen fifty others that were done in the past five years that are better and then before that fifty more back in the 1980′s! Give it a rest!! 
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: critters 2, easter, easter bunny, film, gremlins, holiday, Horror, kill! kill!, kottentail, mick garris, Movie, peter rottentail, themed
Guess what? Easter Sunday is only a couple days away and I’m sure you’re all wondering what the heck are you going to watch later that night while munching down on all your chocolate Cadbury eggs? Well fear not fellow dorks that’s why I’m here to save your Easter with some useless knowledge!
Let me tell you there aren’t too many Easter themed horror movies out there and with the few there are to choose from it’s crucial you don’t waste your time this year. There are some newer movies like “Peter Rottentail”, “Easter Bunny, Kill Kill!” and “Kottentail” that you could waste your time with. All of them look like they’re filmed by high school students filming using their cell phones. So if that’s what you’re into don’t hesitate. I however will be watching the one and only great Easter themed movie….Critters 2!
The first Critters was pretty great obviously borrowing on the trend that the Gremlins started. Well part 2 is actually pretty damn fun also. Directed by Mick Garris this 1988 classic hits heavy on the Easter theme as the residents of the small town of Grover’s Bend mistake Critter eggs for Easter eggs, use them for the yearly egg hunt and soon they are rolling rampant wrecking havoc on the town! They even attack the Easter Bunny himself! So people make no mistake about it it’s Easter themed horror at it’s best…
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore | Tags: april fools day, Friday The 13th, goerge dugdale, Horror, mark ezra, Movies, peter litten, Slasher, slaughter high, Uncut, vestron video
I supposed everyone today has HUGE plans to watch the awesome “April Fool’s Day” horror flick from 1986 tonight huh?! What? Maybe not? Well speak for yourself folks-I’ll most likely be popping that one in later this evening-but for you out there that do actually give a shit there’s another April Fool’s movie from ’86 called Slaughter High. Never seen it?
Well if you are gonna check this one out today is the perfect day-it was originally set to be called April Fool’s Day here in the USA but it seems the other movie beat them to the punch, though in Japan it’s know by that title as Vestron video released.
Anyway this one is a true gem for any 80′s horror fanatic! It really has it all and is super over the top more so than most slasher films of that era. It’s jam packed with the most asinine group of teens / future adults you’re likely to see in the eighties! So when they do kick the bucket, and boy do they ever in the best ways possible, it’s a helluva good reward to see! It’s also got a disfigured enraged nerd in a jester clown suit running rampant for revenge through the school halls! This movie could be next on my list for bad movie night because it’s one of the best! If you don’t believe me check out the trailer and see for yourself!
Filed under: Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: 1980's, brainscan, edward furlong, film, Horror, james spader, Movie, revenge, review, sean s. cunningham, The Karate Kid, the new kids
This last Friday night I had myself a little movie night by myself, real exciting beginning to a weekend huh? Well that’s the life of a dork sometimes I guess. But honestly it could have been a total bust as I have learned many times as I am constantly taking chances on movies trying to find the hidden gems of yesteryear. Usually I end up with some total crap ass movies-the kind that aren’t even good in a bad way, but this time little did I know I was in for a treat!
Well my double feature started out pretty good with 1994′s Brainscan, starring Edward Furlong. This one turned out to be a pretty fun little movie where Furlong orders a new state of the art interactive “video game” from Fangoria magazine and it ends up subliminally turning him into a vicious killer. It also introduces one of the lameest movie monster villains I’ve seen in quite some time, the amazingly not scary at all “Trickster”.
This jerk off is about on par with The Wishmaster if you get my drift. Still it was a decent movie despite some really shitty 1994 CG.
The next movie however was the real deal, Sean “Friday the 13th” Cunningham’s movie “The New Kids” was a real treat all the way back from 1985.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Animation, anthony bourdain, coraline, film, Horror, jeremy wadzinski, krampus, Movie, rare exports: a christmas tale, Santa, st. nick, stop motion
Its Christmas season once again now and every year I wait for a cool unique new holiday movie to amaze me. Last year it was the awesome Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (which I recently watched and it was even better the second time around) and this year I am hoping to get a chance to see Dick Mass’ “Sint” if it gets a release here. But it seems every year I wait for someone to tell the creepy tale of The Krampus and it never happens!
Believe me an X-mas movie done tastefully about the Krampus would be quite a tale-but first if you don’t know the folklore of ol’ Krampa check out a blog I did a couple years ago to get acquainted with this Christmas creep.
So agreed the Krampus is quite a strange dude huh? A total holiday Hard Ass! But you can agree that a creepy x-mas movie would be awesome huh? My idea for a Krampus themed film would be almost like a “Home Alone” style movie, where the demon goes after the naughty kids on Christmas night until he meets his match with one naughty boy who gives the Krampus a beating that he will never forget (more…)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 1991, bad movies, bone, film, Horror, norman fell, phyllis diller, the boneyard, the room, three's company, troll 2, yard, zombie poodle
Yesterday I purchased a movie off of Amazon.com that I have to say, I’m fucking PUMPED to get in the mail this week! I accidentally ran into this trailer yesterday while checking out a different movie a friend of mine claimed was on par with Troll 2 and the Room…instead however I found the trailer for 1991′s The Boneyard!!
I have got to say it’s very rare for me to hunt down a movie one the web the same evening and order it-but if you take the time to check this out you’ll clearly understand why I did so.
The movie also features Phyllis Diller (apparently this movie is the only one she’s starred in without her wig on) and Norman Fell, yeah Stanley Roper from Three’s Company!! Oh and I forgot to mention a giant monster Poodle! So I am hoping the movie is as cool as the trailer (which pretty much seems like it shows you the whole damn movie)-check this shit out!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 1990's, creature, film, Horror, jamie lee curtis, jurassic park, monster movies, Movie, nineties, robert rodriguez, Special Effects, stan winston, stuart gordon, top 10
Simple fact, the 1990′s weren’t the best years for the monster movie, and when you think of monster movies it’s almost always a topic of the 1980′s. So I decided to make a list of the top 10 most bad ass monster flicks of the 90′s figuring there MUST be some gems during that era right? I didn’t add any Vampire movies because well they’re just no “monster enough” though “From Dusk Til Dawn” probably should have been at the top of the list. That being said, believe me folks the pickins’ were pretty damn slim for a monster fanatic like myself in the 90′s-most of the best ones came in 1990 it seemed but still there are a few worth your time if you’ve already tapped out the 70′s and 80′s for your monster fix. Here’s what I came up with, if you think I have left ut any gems please by all means enlighten me here!
10. Castle Freak: Here’s a rad more obscure monster flick from 1995 from Re-animator director Stuart Gordan! Yeah the title speaks for itself as the monster in this movie is truly a perverted freak that hangs out in an old castle!
This one also stars the awesome Jeffery Combs and features a sick twisted monster that bites a lady’s boob off! Gross!! Old school 80′s horror in the 90′s! (more…)
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore | Tags: 4th, bbq, Beer, fireworks, fourth, Horror, maniac cop, Movie, obama, of july, patriotic, uncle sam, william lustig
So what are you doing this 4th of July? Watching Fireworks? BBQing? Drinkin’ beer? Well while you do all that shit-watch the hell out for Uncle Sam!!! Surely you have all seen 1997′s horror film Uncle Sam right? Well from what I understand it’s really one of the only if not the only 4th of July themed horror flicks around.
In this goofy horror romp, put out by the same people who brought you “Jack Frost” the killer snow man, comes a tale set on the 4th of July where Uncle Sam rises from his grave to keep unpatriotic people in line! Yeah just like our Government Sam’s a total dick! Directed by William Lustig, of the awesome Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2 this is the perfect film to view after you’ve partied down today, now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a BBQ I gotta get to!
Filed under: Horror Whore | Tags: commercial, director, film, Horror, Movie, Rob Zombie, Slasher, texas chainsaw massacre, woolite
Wow here’s a first of it’s kind-the new Woolite commercial directed by…. Rob Zombie?!! Yeah I know it sounds like some weird fucked up dream, but it’s true it’s the first of it’s kind, the first horror themed detergent commercial!!
