Universal Dork


Friday the 13th Meets The Karate Kid: 1985′s The New Kids! by petersaturday

This last Friday night I had myself a little movie night by myself, real exciting beginning to a weekend huh? Well that’s the life of a dork sometimes I guess. But honestly it could have been a total bust as I have learned many times as I am constantly taking chances on movies trying to find the hidden gems of yesteryear. Usually I end up with some total crap ass movies-the kind that aren’t even good in a bad way, but this time little did I know I was in for a treat!

Well my double feature started out pretty good with 1994′s Brainscan, starring Edward Furlong. This one turned out to be a pretty fun little movie where Furlong orders a new state of the art interactive “video game” from Fangoria magazine and it ends up subliminally turning him into a vicious killer. It also introduces one of the lameest movie monster villains I’ve seen in quite some time, the amazingly not scary at all “Trickster”.

This jerk off is about on par with The Wishmaster if you get my drift. Still it was a decent movie despite some really shitty 1994 CG.

The next movie however was the real deal, Sean “Friday the 13th” Cunningham’s movie “The New Kids” was a real treat all the way back from 1985.


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The Krampus hits the Big Screen?! by petersaturday
December 12, 2011, 12:25 am
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Its Christmas season once again now and every year I wait for a cool unique new holiday movie to amaze me. Last year it was the awesome Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (which I recently watched and it was even better the second time around) and this year I am hoping to get a chance to see Dick Mass’ “Sint” if it gets a release here. But it seems every year I wait for someone to tell the creepy tale of The Krampus and it never happens!

Believe me an X-mas movie done tastefully about the Krampus would be quite a tale-but first if you don’t know the folklore of ol’ Krampa check out a blog I did a couple years ago to get acquainted with this Christmas creep.

So agreed the Krampus is quite a strange dude huh? A total holiday Hard Ass! But you can agree that a creepy x-mas movie would be awesome huh? My idea for a Krampus themed film would be almost like a “Home Alone” style movie, where the demon goes after the naughty kids on Christmas night until he meets his match with one naughty boy who gives the Krampus a beating that he will never forget (more…)



Take me to The Boneyard PLEASE! by petersaturday
October 25, 2011, 10:01 pm
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Yesterday I purchased a movie off of Amazon.com that I have to say, I’m fucking PUMPED to get in the mail this week! I accidentally ran into this trailer yesterday while checking out a different movie a friend of mine claimed was on par with Troll 2 and the Room…instead however I found the trailer  for 1991′s The Boneyard!!

I have got to say it’s very rare for  me to hunt down a movie one the web the same evening and order it-but if you take the time to check this out you’ll clearly understand why I did so.

The movie also features Phyllis Diller (apparently this movie is the only one she’s starred in without her wig on) and Norman Fell, yeah Stanley Roper from Three’s Company!! Oh and I forgot to mention a giant  monster Poodle! So I am hoping the movie is as cool as the trailer (which pretty much seems like it shows you the whole damn movie)-check this shit out!

 

 



The Top 10 Monster Movies of the…..90′s?! by petersaturday

Simple fact, the 1990′s weren’t the best years for the monster movie, and when you think of monster movies it’s almost always a topic of the 1980′s. So I decided to make a list of the top 10 most bad ass monster flicks of the 90′s figuring there MUST be some gems during that era right? I didn’t add any Vampire movies because well they’re just no “monster enough” though “From Dusk Til Dawn” probably should have been at the top of the list. That being said, believe me folks the pickins’ were pretty damn slim for a monster fanatic like myself in the 90′s-most of the best ones came in 1990 it seemed but still there are a few worth your time if you’ve already tapped out the 70′s and 80′s for your monster fix. Here’s what I came up with, if you think I have left ut any gems please by all means enlighten me here!

10. Castle Freak: Here’s a rad more obscure monster flick from 1995 from Re-animator director Stuart Gordan! Yeah the title speaks for itself as the monster in this movie is truly a perverted freak that hangs out in an old castle!

This one also stars the awesome Jeffery Combs and features a sick twisted monster that bites a lady’s boob off! Gross!! Old school 80′s horror in the 90′s! (more…)



Watch Out for Uncle Sam this 4th of July! by petersaturday

So what are you doing this 4th of July? Watching Fireworks? BBQing? Drinkin’ beer? Well while you do all that shit-watch the hell out for Uncle Sam!!! Surely you have all seen 1997′s horror film Uncle Sam right? Well from what I understand it’s really one of the only if not the only 4th of July themed horror flicks around. 

In this goofy horror romp, put out by the same people who brought you “Jack Frost” the killer snow man, comes a tale set on the 4th of July where Uncle Sam rises from his grave to keep unpatriotic people in line! Yeah just like our Government Sam’s a total dick! Directed by William Lustig, of the awesome Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2 this is the perfect film to view after you’ve partied down today, now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a BBQ I gotta get to!



Serial Clothing Killers! by petersaturday

Wow here’s a first of it’s kind-the new Woolite commercial directed by…. Rob Zombie?!! Yeah I know it sounds like some weird fucked up dream, but it’s true it’s the first of it’s kind, the first horror themed detergent commercial!!



The 8 Other Movies “Super 8″ Owes it’s Success to… by petersaturday

So I’m here to tell tell you a few things today, as you guessed “Super 8″ is the movie to see this summer, I loved it. Secondly it’s very obvious that JJ Abrams was a fan of The Goonies and E.T. and was trying his best (he succeeded) in replicating the nostalgic vibe of those movies for the big screen this year. He gave us that feeling we all have missed for so many years in our summer movies. But most of all it was a formula that had been used many times throughout the 80′s not only in E.T. and The Goonies but many more that have been all but forgotten.

It was a formula that seemed to put kids on dangerous adventures, most often supernatural ones, usually in small towns or the suburbs and most often trying to prove to their parents some crazy story to be true with often times unlucky results. These stories were filled with wonder and most of all they were so undeniably fun to watch that to see a movie like “Super 8″ or even Joe Dante’s latest movie “The Hole” in this day and age is a breath of fresh air. So here today in response to Super 8 I’d like to honor 8 more movies Abrams was likely heavily influenced by when he made his latest

1.  The Gate (1986) To say JJ wasn’t influenced by this movie when making Super 8 would be a crime!! (more…)



Ditch the Hero and Get With The Zero Boys! by petersaturday

I just recently was able to see yet another great 1980′s horror movie that I had never seen before! These are really great moments for a person like myself who really thrives on a great 80′s flick that delivers the goods! Better yet is seeing one that somehow slipped through my hands up until now. This most recent movie is The Zero Boys way back from 1986.

To say this is a flat out horror movie just isn’t fair as it’s taking equal parts from 80′s action movies like Rambo and blending it all together into one fun mess of a schlocky good movie! (more…)



World’s Greatest Horror Themed Music Videos! Fat Boys! by petersaturday

It’s been a while since I have posted any new horror themed music videos, quite simply because I thought I had them all covered-well I was dead wrong! It suddenly dawned upon me that The Fresh Prince was not the only one who rapped about Freddy Kruger back in the 1980′s – we also had “Are You Ready for Freddy?” by hip hop pioneers The Fat Boys! Check out this classic video! I have also heard that the Fat Boys are back at it again, with Doug E. Fresh replacing the late great Buff Love , The Human Beatbox (rip), gearing up to do some recording and touring!



Alice Cooper’s Monster Identity Crisis! by petersaturday

I loved it in the 80′s when rock stars starred in bad horror movies! One such movie, which is a real stinker is Monster Dog from 1984 starring Alice Cooper. What really do you expect from Claudio Fragasso, best know for directing Troll 2?! C’mon! So yes let me be honest with you this movie is pretty bad-but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have it’s redeeming qualities!

The plot is simple, Cooper stars as Vincent Raven, the world’s hottest rock star and he’s traveling back to his home town to make a new hot fresh video (which by the way is a total piece of shit once you see how it turns out)! He brings along a bunch of his annoyingly square friends, who on their way to his old creepy childhood mansion home run into…..a god damn monster dog (and the token creepy crazy old dude who tells them they’re all….DOOMED)!! (more…)




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