Well my double feature started out pretty good with 1994′s Brainscan, starring Edward Furlong. This one turned out to be a pretty fun little movie where Furlong orders a new state of the art interactive “video game” from Fangoria magazine and it ends up subliminally turning him into a vicious killer. It also introduces one of the lameest movie monster villains I’ve seen in quite some time, the amazingly not scary at all “Trickster”.

This jerk off is about on par with The Wishmaster if you get my drift. Still it was a decent movie despite some really shitty 1994 CG.

The next movie however was the real deal, Sean “Friday the 13th” Cunningham’s movie “The New Kids” was a real treat all the way back from 1985.

I always ask myself why the hell did I first see this in 2012?! Well as I also have said before there’s nothing quite as satisfying as seeing a rad 80′s movie for the first time so late in the game. This one was like a much darker version of “The Karate Kid” which unfortunately came first, as I at first suspected that perhaps it was a rip off of The New Kids.

Anyway what we got here is one hell of a fun movie, with one of the corniest opening scenes I’ve ever seen. The movie follows two teenage siblings (Abby & Loren), who having been raised as bad asses on a military base lose their parents in a car crash. Soon thereafter their zany Aunt & Uncle invite them to live with them down in Florida where they run a cool little amusement park. I mean really how rad would that be?! I mean if your parents are both going to pass away at least you get to live some place totally awesome like in an amusment park?!

Well now unfortunately luck is still not on the brother and sister’s side when they head off to the local high school and meet a bunch of deranged red necks lead by a criminally insane James Spader!!!

Yeah Johnny from the Karate Kid has got nothin’ on this dude! Spader’s character “Eddie Dutra” sets his pervy eyes on Abby and simply won’t take no for an answer. When he gets rejected in a very comically awkward “gas station” scene he decides to make both their lives a living hell. He and his asinine hillbilly buddies go on a rampage, trashing the amusement park, keying their uncles fancy classic car, kicking Loren’s ass in the bathroom, finally kidnapping Abby, trying to rape her, set her on fire with gasoline and having their vicious pitbull attack her! Yeah Spader is pretty funny and quite awesome as the villain in this one. However one thing they didn’t suspect was that these two kids are total bad asses and were trained by their father while on the military base! That’s where the fun starts at the final showdown at of course……the amusement park!! I gotta say it’s a good one too and let’s just say those douche bags get what’s coming to them, still the movie somehow finds a way to wrap things up on a sunny 80′s style note and even leaves it open for a sequel! Check this out if you’re craving a totally rad 1980′s teenage revenge flick! It won’t disappoint!

But folks that’s not all check out this rad little video that shows Skeletor once again being taken over by the spirit of Christmas-pretty awesome..

Well if any of you are starving for more here is the entire Christmas special in all it’s glory…

Of course you guessed it this movie was produced by Charles Band! Never has the idea of intergallactic monster boxing sounded so awesome! I am on the hunt ofr this one but of course it’s nowhere to be found on Ebay or Amazon. I am sure you can find some downloads online but another cool place to get crazy rare movies on dvd is Ioffer.com check that out too!

Real name Ernesto de la Cruz, better known as Weng Weng, stood only 2 feet 9 inches tall and was a master in Jeet Kune Do and was a marvel to behold. His most famous roles were in “For Y’ur Height Only” and “The Impossible Kid” where he played Secret Agent 00. Apparently there’s a documentary out there about him called “The Search for Weng Weng” which I am sure would be quite an interesting film. Sadly though he passed away at the age of 34 from a heart attack. But I do look forward to seeing as many of his films as possible as they look simply amazing…check this incredible action martial arts scene out for yourself!

Madness ensues and without spoiling the whole movie I will say this, it’s got some great goofy 80′s adventure along the lines of Weird Science or the Goonies. It’s got Dennis Hopper playing the washed out hippie science teacher, crazy neanderthals and an over the top annoying side kick teenage buddy along the lines of Evil Ed from Fright Night. It’s also got cute nerd girls and lots of great 80′s electricity that I love so much. So if you’re a dork for the 80′s check out this one it’s about as perfect as they come, as long as you don’t take it too seriously…..

It was a formula that seemed to put kids on dangerous adventures, most often supernatural ones, usually in small towns or the suburbs and most often trying to prove to their parents some crazy story to be true with often times unlucky results. These stories were filled with wonder and most of all they were so undeniably fun to watch that to see a movie like “Super 8″ or even Joe Dante’s latest movie “The Hole” in this day and age is a breath of fresh air. So here today in response to Super 8 I’d like to honor 8 more movies Abrams was likely heavily influenced by when he made his latest

1.  The Gate (1986) To say JJ wasn’t influenced by this movie when making Super 8 would be a crime!! It’s got it all, kids involved in a fight for their lives, monsters, broken families and satanic records being played backwards!! If you have never seen this flick you’re not a true dork! There are some great similarities here between this and Super 8 especially some of the final confrontations with the gigantic monsters the main characters face off against!

2.Critters (1986) Yeah Abrams was most likely a fan of Critters as well, though he probably won’t admit it! This follows the story of a young boy in a small town who’s fighting to save his family from an evil alien life form-The Critter! With some help from some alien bounty hunters they enter into a battle to the death with the ultimate predator-a mix between a Tribble from Star Trek and a Gremlin!

3. The Monster Squad (1987) Here it is the movie that’s a blend of The Goonies and vintage horror. A true classic yet a bit under rated still somehow. You got a gang of kids who team up with Frankenstein’s monster to battle with Hollywood’s classic monsters! The Mummy, Dracula, The Wolfman and The Creature From The Black Lagoon.  That’s a hell of a lot of monsters huh? No wonder this one was such a good time it was directed by Fred Dekker who also brought us “Night of the Creeps”!

4. Making Contact (1985) It’s been a helluva long time since I have seen this damn movie – but I can tell you one thing for certain about it – JJ Abrams probably watched this flick the night before making Super 8 to get some of his creative juices flowing! Hell I can’t even remember what this one was really about-I just remember it was awesome! Unfortunately Netflix doesn’t carry it and on Ebay the only dvd copy of it is $70.00! Looks like I’ll have to go old school vhs to see this one again-oh well…

5. Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) What can I really say here? This movie is simply fantastic! One of my all time faves as a child and still to this day. What we have here is an epic adventure following the exploits of Sherlock Holmes and Watson when they were kids! The fact is this adventure is better than any of the shit they did as adults! Part Indiana Jones, part Goonies and a hell of alot better than that recent B.S. that had Sherlock’s name all over it with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law! Barry Levinson and Spielberg deliver the goods and then some here with this one!

6. The Lady in White (1988) Here’s a wonderful little ghost story adventure starring a young Lucas Haaas (remember him in that rad Harrison Ford movie where Indiana Jones pretended to be an Amish dude?) , It’s a warm, chilling tale of mystery set in a small town and delivers on so many different levels. This one is a classic that throws a young boy into a dangerous supernatural fight for his life! Check it!

7. The Explorers (1985) All you really need to know about this movie is that is was directed by Joe Dante (The Burbs, Gremlins, The Howling) and that JJ has probably taken notes from this flick when perfecting his script for Super 8. It features young River Phoenix and Ethan Hawke as they team up to make contact with an alien race and construct a spaceship out of junk to fly out into the galaxy to make physical contact with the aliens themselves. Though the payoff ain’t as great as Super 8 it’s a must see for anyone longing for the those wonderful adventure movies of the 80′s…

8. Silver Bullet (1985) Well I was going to include The Lost Boys on the list but decided that movie has clearly been hyped enough-but it is a perfect example of the youthful adventure movie of the 80′s and deserved mention on this list. Instead though I decided to include another great Corey Haim (r.i.p.) supernatural adventure, Silver Bullet, one of the BEST werewolf movies ever. This has got a great simple plot, a drunken ass Gary Busey, a monster and a hot rod wheel chair! This is a true example of a perfect 80′s flick and has all the same ingredients that made Super 8 the best summer movie this year!!! check out this clip..

To say this is a flat out horror movie just isn’t fair as it’s taking equal parts from 80′s action movies like Rambo and blending it all together into one fun mess of a schlocky good movie! Directed by Nico Mastorakis, who’s also responsible for other 80′s flicks like Bloodstone, Grandmother’s House and Ninja Academy this movie follows the story of three weekend warrior douchebags who are nicknamed The Zero Boys. These three wise-asses are the reigning paint ball champions and they make wager in the game for things like weekends spent with their challengers girlfriends.

So basically what we get here is to see what happens when these 3 stooges head off into the woods with their ladies and stumble upon a real life threat in the form of a group of mysterious deranged killers. Let’s just say it’s very 80′s and a damn fun time-if you get the urge to head back into the 80′s for a neat-o cheezy action horror flick seek this little gem out…

I am going to recommend  you a few lesser know super hero movies that are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat!! Now ese may not have the budget of say Iron Man 2, but I think you’ll agree today’s choice is sure to fill the empty void in your life…Check out Super Fuzz from 1980!

The three main characters are flat out creepy, creepy dudes. The main character Gary is a obsessive weird stalker type and his other two friends Rick (who I’m convinced is a closet homosexual) and David are sex crazed freaks who in the first sequence try luring girls over to their house promising them cocaine, weed and quaaludes.

These weirdos don’t actually even have drugs-they just wanna get laid and instead give the girls sugar to trick them into letting them get into their pants! The main dude Gary relentlessly tries to seduce an overweight girl on his couch in a most unsettling manner.

Then later while hanging out in the locker room the three horny teens suddenly decide to hold a contest with all the rest of the guys in the locker room to see who has the biggest dick. They all line up with boners while while they use a measuring tape to decide the winner! Keep in mind this is an MGM classics release. Can I keep going? Well Gary is also obsessed with this weird ass girl named Karen-who his buddy Rick is trying to de-virginize constantly while Gary continues to try and fails to hook up with over and over.

He brings his two horny buddies over to a rather bizarre older women’s house who has sex with them one after another, all three of them then decide to pay a prostitute to have sex with them one after another-once again talking about who’s getting sloppy seconds. Then the next day all three of them discover they have crabs and head to the local swimming pool too “drown them”.

No we’re not watching a hot chick by the pool-we’re just trying to drown our crabs..

Now all this was fine and dandy and didn’t really seem like anything more crazy than say one of the Porkies movies but there was one plot twist that just straight up had me baffled! Don’t continue on if you wanna actually see this trashy piece of teen cinema.

Right near the last quarter of the movie Rick finally coaxes Karen to have sex with him-and Gary of course is pissed! He later finds out that Rick got Karen pregnant-and Rick the dick has suddenly then told her to get lost! Gary then being the only one she can trust, takes the sobbing girl to stay at his family’s cottage and raises money all over town for her to get an abortion-while he’s doing this they continually show scenes of Karen getting strapped down and drugged for the operation while some hoppin’ boppin’ 80′s new wave song is sound tracking it all. It seems all is well after as he nurses her back to health and finally tells her that he is in love with her-where they embrace and kiss.

Gary then spends a bunch of cash on some expensive locket with her name on it and plans on giving it to her at a party-where when he gets there find her and Rick screwing around again!!! What the FUCK???!!! The movie simply ends with Gary driving home crying…yeah then the credits role!!! I had to do a rewind to make sure what I had just seen was not a weird ass dream. Nope it really ends that morbidly-the last 4th of the movie isn’t funny at all it’s just downright depressing and weird. This flick is definately worth a watch if you like those old racy teen movies, it’s got a lot of nudity, drugs, drinking, sex and most of all some seriously depressing fucked up scenarios…enjoy my good friends, enjoy…