Filed under: Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: buffy the vampire slayer, cabin in the woods, cabin in the woods 2, chris hemsworth, cloverfield, drew goddard, joss whedon, lost, review, sequel, The Avengers, Thor
It’s no doubt to me that I have seen two of the BEST movies this year at the theater in the span of a week! How often does that happen? Last week I was lucky enough to catch “The Raid: Redemption” which will easily be the best action movie of the year or maybe even the past decade. This Saturday I saw “Cabin in the Woods” and was blown away!
What an awesome original idea for a movie. I know, I know you think it’s just another Evil Dead rip off? Wrong. It’s not at all what I expected, though to say it doesn’t share some similarities with Evil Dead wouldn’t be true. However it’s something truly of it’s own. I did a blog a couple weeks ago about wishing for Hollywood to kick out something original instead of remakes and rehashes. Well this movie is a prime example of what I wished for in every way. A fresh, inventive slice of cinema.
Now I am not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet. What I can say is that it best that you know as little as possible about this one if you plan to see it. I purposely avoided reading reviews for this before I saw it and it really did make the experience that much better! So stay away from spoilers for as long as you can!
What I will say here is that it’s a comic book, sci fi, horror fan’s wet dream in every way imaginable. It’s a funny, scary, exciting, gory , unique adventure-with some great twists along the way. The effects are brilliant as well, straying as far as possible from CG schlock as it can. Most of the film has a highly organic vibe to it and when there is any CG it’s used only when needed and tastefully at that. We all know that Hemsworth stars in the movie and I can’t help but think they waited strategically to release this movie, as it was made a couple years ago, to cash in on his Avengers/Thor star power. My question is where does The Cabin in the Woods go from here? I can only hope it doesn’t spawn any un-needed sequels and if it does it better have the same creative team of Whedon & Goddard. Personally I think this movie is best left alone as a one shot. It just can’t get any better than this!
Filed under: Movies | Tags: 3, action, expendables 2, gareth evans, iko uwais, indonesian, john woo, mad dog, martial arts, merantu, pencak silat, redemption, remake, review, Sylvester Stallone, the raid, tony jaa
I just wanted to take a second of your time here to let you you all know that I saw “The Raid: Redemption” last night on the big screen and it’s by far living up to all the hype. This new Indonesian film pulls no punches and sets the standard for all action films that dare to come after. Sorry future action films but at this point you may want to throw in the towel! Stallone if you haven’t already seen this movie you may want to go back reshoot the upcoming Expendables 2 because I’m fairly certain it ain’t gonna come anywhere close to The Raid.
The last films I saw that came anywhere close were those of Tony Jaa like my personal favorite The Protector and his Ong Bak stuff. But even those now seem to have been under minded by The Raid. I am sure it won’t be long before the films main star Iko Uwais hits American films and director Gareth Evans as well.
It’s funny because Holly wood has already jumped all over this film and are planning a remake…uggh….why spoil a beautiful thing? How about just push this original version?
Also the films other star was Pencak Silat, the Indonesian martial art. Watching this style of fighting is truly breathtaking however glamorized or exaggerated it was. Another star worth mentioning from the movie was Yayan Ruhian who plays “Mad Dog” the main crime lord’s number one henchman. He really serves as the movies major villain and his final battle is one that will be remembered for decades.
The movie is beautifully shot, incredibly tense & jam packed with some of the best action sequences I have ever seen. It’s one of the few action movies I have seen that had the crowd actually cheering, ooing and ahhing. Well I can’t say they just don’t make ‘em like that anymore because they did. Step aside John Woo…
Here’s a little video I found that showcases some real Pencak Silat in action in the real world….
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: critters 2, easter, easter bunny, film, gremlins, holiday, Horror, kill! kill!, kottentail, mick garris, Movie, peter rottentail, themed
Guess what? Easter Sunday is only a couple days away and I’m sure you’re all wondering what the heck are you going to watch later that night while munching down on all your chocolate Cadbury eggs? Well fear not fellow dorks that’s why I’m here to save your Easter with some useless knowledge!
Let me tell you there aren’t too many Easter themed horror movies out there and with the few there are to choose from it’s crucial you don’t waste your time this year. There are some newer movies like “Peter Rottentail”, “Easter Bunny, Kill Kill!” and “Kottentail” that you could waste your time with. All of them look like they’re filmed by high school students filming using their cell phones. So if that’s what you’re into don’t hesitate. I however will be watching the one and only great Easter themed movie….Critters 2!
The first Critters was pretty great obviously borrowing on the trend that the Gremlins started. Well part 2 is actually pretty damn fun also. Directed by Mick Garris this 1988 classic hits heavy on the Easter theme as the residents of the small town of Grover’s Bend mistake Critter eggs for Easter eggs, use them for the yearly egg hunt and soon they are rolling rampant wrecking havoc on the town! They even attack the Easter Bunny himself! So people make no mistake about it it’s Easter themed horror at it’s best…
Filed under: bad movies, childhood nostalgia, Movies | Tags: 4, film, freddy kruger, GI JOE, Halloween, Michael Bay, michael myers, Movie, remake, teenage mutant ninja turtles, TIm Burton, TMNT, Transformers
I really don’t spend too much time thinking about Michael Bay or the fact that he likes to takes everything we loved from our yesteryears as children and teenagers and turns them into a pile of dirty Depends. Really the more I think about it all the more I really really just don’t care anymore! Yeah he had a shot at making an amazing Transformers movie but did you really think anyone in mainstream Hollywood was going to make some totally cool movie version really in this day and age?
Fat chance, every now and again we get something really good these days like The Dark Knight or Hellboy II from Hollywood. But all you fanboys and gals out there need to get over it and move on already! You want to watch a good Transformers movie? Then watch the classic Transformers movie from the 80′s! Are you pissed that Bay has got his hands on the Teenage…or um, sorry excuse me, “Ninja Turtles” franchise? Well then read the original series from the mid 1980′s because you know what? They already fucked up the film when they made it in 1990, I remember back in the day I thought the movie was a watered down shitty ass kiddie version of the dark themes of the original books.
Sure today I accept it and even have a soft spot for the live action cheez of the early 90′s TMNT films complete with Vanilla Ice lets not forget. Sure Bay making a movie will suck big time of course but it’s not like it’s going to be competing against cinematic genius of the original Turtles movies!
So yeah now he’s going to make some Halloween movies. He’s already ruined Freddy, Jason & Leatherface so for him to leave out Mike Myers would be sorta just incomplete in the grand scheme in the shittiest way possible. Besides Rob Zombie already put a lame spin on the franchise when he tried to remake them!
So really at this point who cares? Personally I’m a little tired of Michael Myers anyway I mean the guy doesn’t even speak for cryin’ out loud. People now do you all really need to see him in yet another damn film anyway?! I mean we’ve got like ten films as it is!! Same really goes for Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Chucky ect ect ect….I if want to see a good film I’ll watch the originals. I just don’t care anymore-I’m tired of schlock that they try to spoon feed us-so you know what? I just am not going even bother anymore. Personally there are a lot more exciting things going on that are new and fresh ideas-Did you all see Attack the Block last year? Or Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil? There are still NEW ideas out there being made that are great. But people don’t expect Hollywood to churn out classics anymore of your favorite childhood nostalgia-watching these major blockbuster movies is like eating shitty junk food and washing it down with some neon colored extreme Gatorade. Sooner or later you’re gonna puke and instead eat something that in the end is better for you and made with a little more care.
So I say Michael Bay, Tim Burton & all you other modern day hacks eat your heart out-go crazy-remake it all! Rob our childhoods! I probably won’t even notice that it’s happening because I have got the classics still and can’t wait for the next new fresh ideas to hit the screens or my dvd player. But the rest of you people stop going and see all this shitty cinema and then complaining! You are all the reason that he keeps on making more shit in the end….
Filed under: Cartoons Dorks Should Be Watching, Movies | Tags: 1960's, animated, avengers trailer, Captain america, fan made, joss whedon, Movie, nick fury, the incredible hulk, Thor
Check out this animated fan made trailer of the upcoming Avengers movie put together with old school 1960′s animated clips! Pretty funny and really would have close to perfect if they could have somehow found an older version of Nick Fury (this one here is from 1995) as it looks a little out of place with the rest. In the defense of the people who threw this together though it was the first time Fury was animated…still a nice treat for dorks like myself-check it!!
Filed under: Movies | Tags: action, dance dance revolution, film, gareth evans, hard boiled, iko uwais, indonesia, indonesian, martial arts, Movie, redemption, review, Rocky, Sylvester Stallone, the expendables 2, the fp, the raid
Well here are a couple action flicks I dare any major studio to try and beat! Sorry Stallone I am sure your upcoming PG-13 Expendables II will be fun but in comparison “The Raid: Redemption” it’s going to most likely end up looking like an episode of GI Joe from the eighties! But so far from what I heard The Raid is being hailed as arguably the best action flick of all time. So far by seeing several clips and hearing the synopsis it’s quite possible this Indonesian film will win the medal!
“Deep in the heart of Jakarta’s slums lies an impenetrable derelict apartment building which became a safe house for the world’s most dangerous killers and gangsters. The rundown apartment block has been considered untouchable to even the bravest of police. Cloaked under the cover of pre-dawn darkness and silence, an elite team is tasked with raiding the building in order to take down the notorious drug lord who runs it. But when a chance encounter with a spotter blows their cover and news of their assault reaches the drug lord, the building’s lights are cut off and all exits are blocked. Stranded on the 6th floor with no way out, the unit must fight their way through the city’s worst criminals to survive their mission.”
The next movie looks like it just has to be seen to be believed. It’s opening this week in Portland Oregon where I live and yeah well it looks like the most ridiculous action movie of all time. “The FP” involves two rival gangs who do battle by way of deadly games of Dance Dance Revolution. Yeah you heard that right somehow you can die by playing this game, I am not sure how but apparently in this movie anything can happen!
Obviously this movie wasn’t meant to be taken seriously-but if it had been it would have been even more brilliant! Listen to some of the dialogue for cryin’ out loud! I am not sure if the idea loses it’s charm quickly in this movie but I am willing to bet you never see anything quite like it ever again! This is the “Rocky” of lame dance games! Check it!
Filed under: Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: 2011, alternate version, Animatronics, cgi, effects, film, john carpenter, monster, Movie, original cut, original version, practical, prequel, puppetry, reshot, review, sequel, special edition, Special Effects, The Thing
I finally got around to watching “The Thing” 2011 prequel I have been trying to avoid for so long. The original 1982 movie of the same name is probably my favorite monster movie of all time! So giving this new movie a chance after hearing about how shitty it was really was a hard thing to do-but I decided to see for myself if the movie sucked as bad as the reviews suggested. My verdict? Yeah it was pretty damn sucky.
First of all this movie was really not much of a prequel. It was basically a remake that tried to do everything the original did but just ten times less impressive. Sure it linked at the end to the Carpenter version but overall this movie didn’t bring anything new to the table. The story was pretty bland, as were the characters even though the movie was pretty well shot and looked very similar to the original-all except for the special effects.
Now we all know that the 1982 version is really the king of practical monster effects. It still remains to this day as perhaps the most creepy and realistic looking effects on screen. The new version however looked as fake and pathetic as ever. Like something out of DOOM interacting with real people. But was it always meant to be that bad? I guess not. The movie originally boasted that no CGI would be used and from what I have read 80% of it was shot with bad ass practical monster effects. Then when the movie was show to the studio they were told the monsters were too slow and they needed the monsters to be jumping around more ect. So they had to go back and reshoot and mostly cover up the old effects with CGI to give it a more modern look. By modern it ended up getting a more fake video gamey look that the kids love so much today. Anyway I am curious-is there a version out there with the original effects?! How about releasing a special edition original cut version? Well here’s a little video that shows you some of the magic that could have been in the 2011 version…
Filed under: Movies | Tags: 1980's, ben kingsley, comedy, film, guy ritchie, jude law, michale caine, Movie, murder by decree, robert downey jr., sherlock holmes, young sherlock holmes
I finally got around to check out the latest Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. and it was exactly what I thought it was going to be,a dumb fun romp of a movie. No surprises really there I enjoyed it quite a bit like the first installment however this Guy Ritchie Sherlock was COMPLETELY different than any Sherlock that we’ve ever seen or known of. This confused some and made others angry as Holmes was never an all out crazed brawler in the past. This didn’t bother me too much, sure it didn’t really feel like I was watching a real Sherlock adventure but I don’t mind a different take on classic characters every now and then. That’s why I urge any of you people out there looking for a great different Sherlock Holmes movie to check out “Without a Clue” from 1988.
This is definitely a different take on our beloved hero. In this movie Holmes played brilliantly by Michael Caine is actually a boozing unemployed dufus actor who couldn’t find his way out of a public restroom. The brains behind the operation is secretly Watson played by Ben Kingsley, who creates the persona of Sherlock Holmes so he can solve crimes secretly while trying to secure a position at a highly respectable medical practice. This is quite an interesting take on the legend and it’s a helluva good time.
It’s a treat seeing the bumbling Holmes taking orders from Watson, watching Sherlock hog the spotlight with out a clue as to what the hell he is talking about as he fools Scotland Yard into thinking he’s a superhuman crime solving super hero. It’s a perfect anti-buddy comedy as soon Sherlock’s got everyone fooled and is soon chosen to solve the movies mystery on his own as Watson is suddenly “killed” in a plot by the evil Moriaty and suddenly he has to try and play the part of the legend on his own for real.
I love the period of Sherlock Holmes that’s part of the charm for me with these movies but this one is just a splendid 1980′s movie that’s a perfect watch alongside “Murder by Decree” & “Young Sherlock Holmes” which is hands down my favorite Sherlock flick ever. Though the movie back in the 80′s received relatively poor reviews I think it’s charming little adventure. If you get the craving for more mysterious adventure make sure to check out this often overlooked lil’ gem!
Filed under: Comics, Movies, Music, shameless self promotion | Tags: dancehall, ensly mogul, geek, hip hop, mc chris, mc frontalot, Mister Saturday, nerdcore, new album, new song, optimus rhyme, Rap, reggae, science fiction, Star Trek
So I could go on on on and on about all the multi million dollar movies out there and hype them up even more, or talk mad shit on them til the cows come home-but really do they need anymore people promoting their shit for them? I think not. Instead though I am going to hype up my new song I wrote with Ensly Mogul my spacehall nerdcore partner in crime. In fact he was an original contributor here on Universal Dork and from time to time used to post here. I have been releasing nerdcore dance hall for years and just recently started up writing new jams and rehearsing with Mogul for live shows.
Anyway we just recently put the finishing touches on this one, which is a nerdcore mix of hip hop, reggae spacehall bursting with dork rhymes galore. This is the second track we’ve released and it will be part of our upcoming full length album – dorks unite and please help us spread the word and let us know what you think so far!
Filed under: Comics, Marvel, Movies | Tags: ang lee, CG, edward norton, guillermo del toro, Image, joss whedon, lou ferrigno, new picture, photo, pic, robert downey jr., stan winston, The Avengers, the incredible hulk, tv show
Yesterday there was a brand spankin’ new image of The Hulk released to the public for the upcoming Avengers movie. I must admit it’s the best most realistic looking one yet but to really be certain it’s perfect we’ll have to see this once again entirely computer generated character in the flesh or um…pixels or whatever it is on screen moving around with living breathing real human beings. Lets face it the last two Hulks were pretty piss poor and personally I rather see Lou Ferrigno back with the ripped jeans and green paint than more of this poorly done cg. However this still shot of the Hulk does look pretty dang nice and I am willing to keep an open optimistic mind about ol’ Jade Jaws until I see it for real. Lets though take a look at all three of these cg fakers and see if the new image actually holds up…
First the Ang Lee CG “dumb jock football player” Hulk…
Verdict: Wow this one looks even worse than I remember! What is that live action Shrek doing onscreen with Jennifer Connelly?! Did George Lucas do this cg version of The Hulk on his lunch break?! This one has GOT to be one of the worst cg charcters of all time!!
Second we have the Ed Norton “totally ripped” Hulk…
The verdict: This one actually looked pretty good….as long as there weren’t any real human beings on screen with him! This one at least got the look and spirit of The Hulk correct. Plus he wasn’t twenty five feet tall like the “Jolly Green Giant” Hulk that Ang Lee gave us. Still this version of The Hulk was to me quite a disappontment.
Lastly we’ve got a newly released shot of the “Joss Whedon can do no wrong” Hulk…
Verdict: This one is hands down the most realistic looking one yet but that don’t mean squat til we see him standing next to Robert Downey Jr. I am willing to bet this one could win the prize, but if it doesn’t well three strikes and you’re out CG Hulk!! With that said we still have the Guillermo De Toro Hulk to look forward to and I am sure that one will deliver the goods…
