Universal Dork


Will The Expendables Finally Head to the Retirement Home?! by petersaturday

This last weekend I checked out the latest installment of The Expendables, it was just like the first two, a damn good time in the theater. Simple premise and action packed to the brim, like the many action movies of the 1980’s. I remain a bigger fan of the second movie among the three but I’d be down for another chapter, but will anyone else line up for one? I noticed the theater was nearly empty, though I did see the movie in a smaller town up in the north woods of Wisconsin. Still I had this feeling that perhaps the movie was destined to flop. Flop it did, but they are blaming this failure on a leaked version of the movie that hit online some time ago.

Part of me wonders though if the formula is as charming as it once was? Sure part 3 was a fun time, but it was also a bit of a replay of the first two, with the exception of some of the younger Expendables added to the cast. I also seem to think that Mel Gibson, though he did a good job as the villain, may in part be responsible for the film flopping. Every time he appeared on screen all I could do is cringe. It seems that no one is ready for Gibson to step into the spotlight after all of his bullshit over the years, even if he ends up getting his ass kicked by Stallone in the end.

So is this the end of the mighty Expendables? I think it very well could be. I really can’t see being too incredibly excited about the same old same old again in yet another movie. What really needs to happen here if the franchise does by chance continue on is a genre switch. It should be jam packed with action, but we really need to see something interesting happening with the plot if this is going to generate any excitement at all again. This was on the table for the third flick when they were tossing around new plot lines, they had one in particular which raised a lot of eyebrows. It involved the Expendables going up against some sort of creature or mutated super soldier. A sort of Predator-esque style sci-fi monster movie starring our favorite 80’s bad asses. I was thrilled at the possibility!

 

Stallone has owned the film rights to the novel “Hunter” by James Byron Huggins for about 10 years now and never managed to make a film. I say it’s time to get the team together to fight some creatures which is exactly what “Hunter” is all about. I think it’s time to trim down the fat of the team for the next flick, and what better way than getting rid of some of the Expendables by way of a mutant monster picking them off! Keep the crowd pleasers, like Stallone, Statham, Lungren and Arnold, add a couple new guys like Jackie Chan, Pierce Brosnan, Roddy Piper & Hulk Hogan.

Here’s the official synopsis of “Hunter” can’t you picture this as the 4th installment?

“Nathaniel Hunter (or Barney Ross) could track anyone, or anything, on Earth. Now the military desperately needs him for a mission that his ultra sensitive instincts tell him he should refuse. A beast is loose somewhere north of the Arctic Circle. It has already decimated a secret research facility and annihilated a squad of elite military guards. And the raging creature is headed south toward civilization, ready to wreak bloody devastation. It is a job Hunter cannot turn down, but he soon discovers that his prey is terror incarnate, a half-human abomination created by a renegade agency through a series of outlawed genetic experiments. It has man’s cunning, a predator’s savageness, and a prehistoric power that has transcended the ages. And even if Hunter survives its unrelenting hunger for human blood, he will still have to confront the grim reality that it may have grown immortal.”

Keep the plot simple but give us something different and exciting. It is the perfect recipe for an ensemble action movie. If there is is any hope for the old guys it’s going to come in the shape of something new thats melds a different genre to the formula…..make it happen Stallone!!

 

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Now We’re Getting “The Evil Dead” TV Series? I’ll Believe It When I See It! by petersaturday

We recently once again got “news” from Sam Raimi at Comic Con that he’s writing an Evil Dead TV series with his brother and Bruce “Ash” Campbell. Wow sound like an awesome idea huh? Well as everyone on the internet flips out about this, I’m saying I’ll believe it when I see It! Look, this all seem like a really swell idea, but how many damn times does Mr. Raimi expect us to get excited about this whole damn Evil Dead thing?! The idea of a true modern sequel has been announced many times by Sam, then either he or Bruce come back and say stuff like they were just kidding, weren’t serious, or just trying to say what the crowd wants to hear etc, etc, etc.

 

I’m personally getting a little tired of the whole idea of another movie with Bruce as Ash. I’m tired of hearing about a sequel to the reboot, that’s not going to happen and then is going to happen and then nothing. I’m tired of hearing about how we’ll be getting a new Evil Dead sequel from Fede Alvarez, then getting Army of Darkness 2, then the universes colliding in a final installment with Bruce and then hearing that- that is NOT actually the plan, nope now we’re gonna get a nifty TV series with Bruce Campbell in the leading role…..becuz i’m sure in a week from now Bruce will make some smart ass comment about it saying it ain’t gonna happen. The more I see Raimi’s recent work the more I hope that he just gives up on the idea! He’s stated several times that he’s really not into doing any more Evil Dead-so why would I want to see a movie or TV series by someone who ain’t interested?! That’s not the Evil Dead flick I’ve been waiting for!

So these three guys can keep talking at Comic Con’s every year about a new Evil Dead movie, a sequel, a tv series, a crossover blah blah blah. This won’t mean shit to me until it’s on a screen in front of me! If they don’t make something happen soon it will indeed be too late. Now is the time to put Bruce back in the role, not ANOTHER 10 years from now! So Raimi, listen up, don’t do more Evil Dead if you really don’t care about it anymore, because we still do. How fun is it dating someone you’re super stoked on who’s simply looking for something better to come along? Answer is it totally blows! So until the whole gang can get their heads out of their rear ends and come up with something solid that everyone involved is actually truly pumped on then I suggest just keeping your ideas to yourself at Comic Con. Ok, rant is done, now prove me wrong please! I can’t bear to watch another clip like this dammit!!

 



Cyclops, The Punisher and Slingblade vs. The Killer Grizzly! by petersaturday

I’m pretty excited about this upcoming thriller called “Grizzly”! It was more recently known as “Endangered” then “Red machine” which I think is a better name, as many might think this is now a direct remake of the 1976 Grizzly bear horror flick of the same name(maybe it is?). I’m a pretty big fan of wilderness survival movies like “Black Water” which is a great realistic crocodile attacks flick, “The Edge” which was a pretty great wild Grizzly bear action flick, “Burning Bright” which was a neat-o trapped in the house with a savage tiger flick just to name a few. The premise is always pretty simple, totally believable and could actually happen to you(the tiger in the house scenario maybe not so likely)!

Grizzly looks so good mainly because of it’s cast, Billy bob Thornton, James “Cyclops” Marsden, Thomas Jane and Piper Perabo. The  trailer looks like a damn good time and quite some time ago I saw of the special effects work of this movie, mainly the animatronics used for some of the grizzly sequences and it instantly made me keep close watch for this. More recently recently I saw some make up effects done on Billy Bob with his face totally mangled by the grizzly with his ear dangling, yet he’s still on the hunt and it’s pretty crazy! I think this one is going to be pretty intense.

Well now it’s here, check it out!



Maxx FX: If the Ken Doll was a Bad-Ass FX Artist from the 1980’s!! by petersaturday

A lot of people may have forgotten about Maxx FX from the eighties, or most likely never heard of the guy at all- and what a shame that is! Maxx Fx was the guy that Barbie would have ditched Ken for if she wasn’t a total lame-o back in 1989! Unfortunately Maxx had a short lifespan, and the special fx action figure / doll only had one official costume, that of horror icon Freddy Krueger!

But if you’re a little confused let me put it this way the Maxx FX doll came with the clothing, the mask and accessories to transform him into Freddy. This awesome idea was not supposed to stop with Freddy, it was supposed to continue on with many more movie monsters, unfortunately Matchbox put the kibosh on the action figure early on.

As the awesome Maxx Fx website states Maxx Fx was a make up artist and a crimefighter and could become anyone he wanted! I highly suggest getting the whole story and taking a look at what could have been with the entire toyline, it was a brilliant idea and Matchbox totally dropped the ball!! In the meantime enjoy this cool ass Maxx FX commercial from 1989! Eat it KEN! And Barbie you BLEW it!!

This one too!



‘Stitches’ Gives Freddy Krueger a Run for His Money! by petersaturday

I finally checked out Stitches which I’ve been waiting some time to see as it finally arrived on Netflix watch instantly. If you’re a fan of old horror icons like Freddy Krueger or Leprechaun then this movie will NOT disappoint! This cool little Irish horror comedy has got a pretty awesome little plot, based on a bit of a cliche. Clown goes to kids party, mean kids ridicule clown, clown dies by way of something one of the kids does.

Well though that seemed a little like previously trodded horror plot, the movie goes deeper into the evil clown mythos. It turns out that in this movie clowns get together in creepy dungeon like places and practice supernatural rituals. Which is one of the reason “Stitches” the clown comes back toget his revenge on this group of kids that are nowa bunch of jerk-off teenagers!

The vibe of the flick kinda gave me that Freddy feel, as Stitches is a full on wise cracker and comes up with the most inventive ways to get his revenge on with these kids. You’ll see him use a bunch of supernatural clown gadgets and you’ll see some pretty impressive special fx here as well. The movie is also pretty damn funny, picture if the kids in American Pie were hunted by a crazed undead clown at one of their wild ass parties-that’s pretty much how this one plays out. I was pretty surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. It’s got a nice simple premise and it’s a perfect party flick, beer, weed and cocktails are a must for viewing! Check it on Watch Instantly on Netflix! I’m hoping for a sequel!

 



Harbinger Down: The Real Prequel to “The Thing”!! by petersaturday

I just checked out the long awaited trailer for a movie I’ve been pumped about for quite some time time now, Harbinger Down! If you follow my blog at all you’ve probably heard me complaining a lot about CGI and how there aren’t nearly enough movies these days that utilize rad practical monster effects like they used to back in the 1980’s. Well Alec Gillis at Studio ADI announced a while back that he planned on making a full on monster movie utilizing all practical effects only using CG to eliminate things like rods or wires.

You see a while back they made a prequel to the classic John Carpenter Monster flick “The Thing” and Gillis and his crew were hired to do the special effects, they were told to use all practical monster effects to keep the same vibe as the 1982 classic. They went hard to work and filmed much of the movie with the effects but at the last minute the studio changed their mind, and CG’d over all of there work, claiming that people these days like their movies to look more like modern video games. The movie was bashed by fans of the original and did little at the box office. So here is Alec Gillis’ response to what happened to them, a movie that bears some resemblance to the premise of The Thing, as if him and his crew is giving the fans the movie that they were hoping for in The Thing prequel. So take a look at the trailer, this one is on the top of my list!!



Robert Kirkman Proves He’s No One Hit Wonder With “Outcast” #1!!! by petersaturday

Just read Outcast #1 last night, the new series by Walking Dead writer Robert Kirkman which is something that I’ve been quite curious about now for a while. As my interest in The Walking Dead has been waning steadily over the last couple years I’ve often wondered if Kirkman has just lost his touch or perhaps has just run out of good ideas to make the series as compelling as it once was. So Outcast I figured really could have went either way. It turns out that the first Issue of Outcast is pretty damn awesome! Within reading the first few pages (of the 48 page comic book priced at $2.99) I could tell I was in for a real treat.

 

First let me say that the artwork by Paul Azaceta is excellent and is perfect for the dark dismal tone of the story, instantly drawing me in before having a clue as to what’s brewing in the pages ahead. Without giving too much away I’d say that this one follows the story of a man who’s life has been affected by “demonic possessions” in nearly every way imaginable. Which has lead to many people, even family members labeling him a dangerous outcast of society. The main character Kyle Barnes lives a depressing life alone in a dark run down house seemingly almost cut off from the world outside. We get glimpses as the story moves as to why this man has become a hermit but we also realize that he’s not alone entirely as he’s asked by a local priest to come help him with a boy he believes is possessed by the devil. This sheds some light into his past as it’s clear that we know it’s no coincidence that Barnes was sought out.

 

Kirkman does an incredible job at drawing you in to this man’s life and makes you want more answers with every turn of the page. The comic book is also often times very frightening, which can be a tough thing to pull off in this medium these days. I’m certain that this series is going to be the next big thing, issue #1 is jam packed with enough mystery, scares, beautiful artwork and intense drama to have me eagerly awaiting issue #2! I suggest that you run out to your local comic book shop and grab this one, you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass if you don’t. Nice work Kirkman, I wasn’t sure you still had it in you!




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