Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: 1988, bad movie night, DVD, film, greydon clark, Horror, house cat, kitty, Movie, mutant, night shadows, review, uninvited
The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!
The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!
Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80′s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!
We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.
Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore, Movies | Tags: critters 2, easter, easter bunny, film, gremlins, holiday, Horror, kill! kill!, kottentail, mick garris, Movie, peter rottentail, themed
Guess what? Easter Sunday is only a couple days away and I’m sure you’re all wondering what the heck are you going to watch later that night while munching down on all your chocolate Cadbury eggs? Well fear not fellow dorks that’s why I’m here to save your Easter with some useless knowledge!
Let me tell you there aren’t too many Easter themed horror movies out there and with the few there are to choose from it’s crucial you don’t waste your time this year. There are some newer movies like “Peter Rottentail”, “Easter Bunny, Kill Kill!” and “Kottentail” that you could waste your time with. All of them look like they’re filmed by high school students filming using their cell phones. So if that’s what you’re into don’t hesitate. I however will be watching the one and only great Easter themed movie….Critters 2!
The first Critters was pretty great obviously borrowing on the trend that the Gremlins started. Well part 2 is actually pretty damn fun also. Directed by Mick Garris this 1988 classic hits heavy on the Easter theme as the residents of the small town of Grover’s Bend mistake Critter eggs for Easter eggs, use them for the yearly egg hunt and soon they are rolling rampant wrecking havoc on the town! They even attack the Easter Bunny himself! So people make no mistake about it it’s Easter themed horror at it’s best…
Filed under: bad movies, childhood nostalgia, Movies | Tags: 4, film, freddy kruger, GI JOE, Halloween, Michael Bay, michael myers, Movie, remake, teenage mutant ninja turtles, TIm Burton, TMNT, Transformers
I really don’t spend too much time thinking about Michael Bay or the fact that he likes to takes everything we loved from our yesteryears as children and teenagers and turns them into a pile of dirty Depends. Really the more I think about it all the more I really really just don’t care anymore! Yeah he had a shot at making an amazing Transformers movie but did you really think anyone in mainstream Hollywood was going to make some totally cool movie version really in this day and age?
Fat chance, every now and again we get something really good these days like The Dark Knight or Hellboy II from Hollywood. But all you fanboys and gals out there need to get over it and move on already! You want to watch a good Transformers movie? Then watch the classic Transformers movie from the 80′s! Are you pissed that Bay has got his hands on the Teenage…or um, sorry excuse me, “Ninja Turtles” franchise? Well then read the original series from the mid 1980′s because you know what? They already fucked up the film when they made it in 1990, I remember back in the day I thought the movie was a watered down shitty ass kiddie version of the dark themes of the original books.
Sure today I accept it and even have a soft spot for the live action cheez of the early 90′s TMNT films complete with Vanilla Ice lets not forget. Sure Bay making a movie will suck big time of course but it’s not like it’s going to be competing against cinematic genius of the original Turtles movies!
So yeah now he’s going to make some Halloween movies. He’s already ruined Freddy, Jason & Leatherface so for him to leave out Mike Myers would be sorta just incomplete in the grand scheme in the shittiest way possible. Besides Rob Zombie already put a lame spin on the franchise when he tried to remake them!
So really at this point who cares? Personally I’m a little tired of Michael Myers anyway I mean the guy doesn’t even speak for cryin’ out loud. People now do you all really need to see him in yet another damn film anyway?! I mean we’ve got like ten films as it is!! Same really goes for Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Chucky ect ect ect….I if want to see a good film I’ll watch the originals. I just don’t care anymore-I’m tired of schlock that they try to spoon feed us-so you know what? I just am not going even bother anymore. Personally there are a lot more exciting things going on that are new and fresh ideas-Did you all see Attack the Block last year? Or Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil? There are still NEW ideas out there being made that are great. But people don’t expect Hollywood to churn out classics anymore of your favorite childhood nostalgia-watching these major blockbuster movies is like eating shitty junk food and washing it down with some neon colored extreme Gatorade. Sooner or later you’re gonna puke and instead eat something that in the end is better for you and made with a little more care.
So I say Michael Bay, Tim Burton & all you other modern day hacks eat your heart out-go crazy-remake it all! Rob our childhoods! I probably won’t even notice that it’s happening because I have got the classics still and can’t wait for the next new fresh ideas to hit the screens or my dvd player. But the rest of you people stop going and see all this shitty cinema and then complaining! You are all the reason that he keeps on making more shit in the end….
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore | Tags: april fools day, Friday The 13th, goerge dugdale, Horror, mark ezra, Movies, peter litten, Slasher, slaughter high, Uncut, vestron video
I supposed everyone today has HUGE plans to watch the awesome “April Fool’s Day” horror flick from 1986 tonight huh?! What? Maybe not? Well speak for yourself folks-I’ll most likely be popping that one in later this evening-but for you out there that do actually give a shit there’s another April Fool’s movie from ’86 called Slaughter High. Never seen it?
Well if you are gonna check this one out today is the perfect day-it was originally set to be called April Fool’s Day here in the USA but it seems the other movie beat them to the punch, though in Japan it’s know by that title as Vestron video released.
Anyway this one is a true gem for any 80′s horror fanatic! It really has it all and is super over the top more so than most slasher films of that era. It’s jam packed with the most asinine group of teens / future adults you’re likely to see in the eighties! So when they do kick the bucket, and boy do they ever in the best ways possible, it’s a helluva good reward to see! It’s also got a disfigured enraged nerd in a jester clown suit running rampant for revenge through the school halls! This movie could be next on my list for bad movie night because it’s one of the best! If you don’t believe me check out the trailer and see for yourself!
Filed under: bad movies, Sci Fi | Tags: 1987, 5, arnold schwarzenegger, bad movie, Cyborg, mutant hunt, review, robot holocaust, science fiction, terminator, tim kinkaid
Wow I have just finished watching “Mutant Hunt” a movie I have wanted to see since I was a kid! This movie was worth the wait, if you are a fan of superhumanly bad movies like I am-especially ones that are really trying hard to cool. Well 1987′s Mutant Hunt delivers the suck in a HUGE way! First off I have to mention that when I was a kid I used to see this one at the video store all the time, the cover was always one of my favorites, I’m sure there were a few people fooled into renting this back in the day expecting something as rad as The Terminator, what they got though may be just as enjoyable. Besides what more could you ask for? It’s got hot babes, Matt Riker’s steamy sex appeal, mutant cyborgs, 80′s punks and lots of kung fu!! Aounds like a winner huh?
Look this movie follows a story of an evil mastermind named Z who turns an army of cyborgs against the people of Manhattan, while holding their inventor prisoner. Supposedly he’s given them violent sexual urges, however not one cyborg does anything remotely riske throughout the entire flick! However Matt Riker, ace martial arts master / cyborg hunter surely gets his fair share of action!! Yes Matt Riker is the handsome stud who’s got some of the most awful karate moves I have ever seen! Don’t believe me check this SHIT out as he kicks cyborg ass in his tightie whitey’s!!
In fact pretty much everyone in this movie seems to be mentally challenged when it comes to hand to hand combat-believe me there’s a ton of it in here too thank god! Also it seems that the cyborgs wear black sunglasses because we all know that’s clearly a cyborg fashion trend of the 80′s and have arms that grow and stretch, um stretch very very very slowly that is. There’s a pretty rad cyborg though that’s got most of his face ripped open that’s pretty rad who hangs out for most of the movies final act, this must have been a lot of the movies budget along with the cool cover art. The movie’s cover also suggests the movie was “too gory for the silver screen” but that’s not the case here folks-it was merely too shitty for the silver screen! Clocking in at under 75 minutes this one’s bound to be a crowd pleaser and one that Mystery Science Theater 3000 would have had a blast with…
Filed under: bad movies, World's Greatest TV Shows! | Tags: 1983, manimal, shapeshifter, Simon MacCorkindale, stan winston, the incredible hulk, tv series, Werewolf, worst
I don’t know what got me started today but I am on a rabid hunt for one of the most rad 80′s series of all time “Manimal”!! What you don’t remember that one? Of course not it was only on for like 3 months before they cancelled that shit way back in1983! What the hell is a Manimal you ask? Well it’s a rad doctor dude who pretty much has everything going for him and then add on top of it one other interesting quality….he can turn into any damn animal he wants to at will! How rad is that?!
Well apparently people back in 1983 were brain dead because the little bits and peices I did remember of the show were even more mindblowing upon watching them on Youtube today! They pretty much show him transforming into all kinds of intense animals, for instance check Manimal out as he transforms into a fucking falcon below!
How cool was that? Yeah and pretty much every tranformation is like five minutes long, and the funny thing is is that when he transforms back into a “man” he has all of his damn clothes on everytime! What the hell? He seems to suffer the same condition as Bruce Banner did in the 80′s cartoon-everytime he changed back he had all his clothes on too-and they were like brand spankin’ new! So I have been on a hunt for it today as I’d like to get the whole series and bring the Pilot “Movie” to a bad movie night-as It would be bound to be a hit. Watch here as he transforms into a damn snake!
And check this out as he turns into a bad ass panther! Even the tigers and lions are like WTF?!!
From what I understand special effects wizard Stan Winston was behind the transformations-no wonder why they rule so hard! Anyway I am really hoping the series gets released soon on dvd, why they cancelled this show is beyond me….never forget….MANIMAL!!
Filed under: bad movies, Fantasy Movies | Tags: bad movies, demon, Dungeons & Dragons, fantasy, indonesia, kung fu, lasers, martial arts, Movie, the devil's sword, trailer, worst
So you all are aware of how much I like bad movies? You may be able to tell by my post yesterday how much I enjoy 80′s fantasy movies. So once again I stumble upon a trailer for a movie that I simply have GOT to see. It’s apparently from 1984, made in Indonesia and looks to be the shiniest turd of a film I have yet to lay my eyes upon! Check out the trailer for the most truly un-epic movie of the 80′s!
This movie seems to have it all folks! Terrible fight sequences, completely ridiculous looking special effects, laughably raunchy sex scenes, people who ride on flying rocks and who shoot lasers from their hands! It really doesn’t get any better or worse than this! Today I begin my own hunt for this craptastic gem cuzI feel a bad movie night coming on soon!
Filed under: bad movies, Horror Whore | Tags: 4th, bbq, Beer, fireworks, fourth, Horror, maniac cop, Movie, obama, of july, patriotic, uncle sam, william lustig
So what are you doing this 4th of July? Watching Fireworks? BBQing? Drinkin’ beer? Well while you do all that shit-watch the hell out for Uncle Sam!!! Surely you have all seen 1997′s horror film Uncle Sam right? Well from what I understand it’s really one of the only if not the only 4th of July themed horror flicks around.
In this goofy horror romp, put out by the same people who brought you “Jack Frost” the killer snow man, comes a tale set on the 4th of July where Uncle Sam rises from his grave to keep unpatriotic people in line! Yeah just like our Government Sam’s a total dick! Directed by William Lustig, of the awesome Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2 this is the perfect film to view after you’ve partied down today, now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a BBQ I gotta get to!
Filed under: bad movies, Comics, dc comics | Tags: 1989, alan moore, creature, dick durock, film, heather locklear, jim wynorski, monster, Movie, return of the swamp thing, super hero
Ok so this isn’t really that obscure of a movie, but I do know that a good number of my friends have never actually seen 1989′s Return of the Swamp Thing!!! What the hell is up with that? You do see the original Swamp Thing movie all over the place but very rarely do you see the sequel, which is actually kind of a reboot. So I say to all you people there that love super radly bad 80′s movie’s that you best be seeking this gem out!
This box office bomb has it all really, super awesome 1980′s monsters are everywhere in this movie and even better they are throwin’ down with each other constantly! (more…)
Filed under: bad movies, Comics, Movies | Tags: #2, 1980, captain avenger, film, hero at large, jack tripper, john ritter, kick-ass, Movie, real life, super hero, three's company
Yeah! What a great discovery made today in the world of obscure super hero movies! “Hero at Large” is now the number one movie I’m trackin’ down upon my first viewing of the the trailer-it features one of my favorite people ever-John Ritter AKA Jack Tripper!!!
Yeah straight out of Three’s Company the late great Ritter apparently starred in this incredible looking zany real life super hero flick! (more…)
