Filed under: Awesome Music Videos, bad movies, childhood nostalgia, comedy, Creeps, Demented kids movies, Fantasy Movies, Great Costumes, Movies, The World's Lamest Villains, The Worst of All Time, Useless Information | Tags: 1980's, brazil, brazilian, childrens movie, dance, fantasy, Movie, pop, satan, xuxa
Anyone who braves through JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (the subject of Technicolor Nightmare 1) can theoretically tolerate a little singing and dancing. But where JIMMY is creepy as hell, XUXA is cuter than a sugar turd on a neon birthday cake.
SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN (A. Penido, 1988)
(Or SUPER XUXA CONTRA O BAIXO ASTRAL)
double double your refreshment!!
Xuxa Meneghel is a bonafide Brazilian superstar whose fame derives from a series of strange family films in the eighties. Some of my male friends have characterized her as “hot”. This film is the copycat little sister to LABYRINTH.
Super Xuxa, blonde and billowing with butt cleavage in a mini jumper, slathers joy like hair mayo everywhere she goes. (more…)
Filed under: comedy | Tags: Beer, comedian, comedy, eddie murphy, family guy, gene wilder, michael jackson, pabst, richard pryor, rocketman, stand up, stevie wonder, william shatner
Well sometimes nights can get awfully boring for a dork late at night on a Monday in 2010. Sometimes even a little bit depressing and you find yourself grabbing a six pack of beer at 11:00 pm by yourself. Tonight I just decided I needed a drink so I got some Pabst and a lemon. Yeah well you know there’s nothing wrong with putting a lemon in your PBR! Really you can actually trick yourself into thinking you’re drinking some rad mexican beer with a little imagination. Anyway that’s a monday night really, what’s supposed to happen right? Let’s face it blogging is alot better with a few beers.
So I was thinking of things that might turn a dark cold rainy night in Portland Oregon a little bit brighter. I found a few clips that I think are pretty damn funny. First up is just a short clip from Family Guy that I think is one of the most funny moments ever put into any of the episodes. Being a big fan of Popeye too doesn’t hurt. Yeah I’m a fan of the live action movie too with Robin Williams. I don’t care what anyone says that movie is epic as shit! After I saw it as a kid I dressed up like Popeye and ran around the neighborhood with a can of green beans (I couldn’t find any real spinach in our pantry) like a maniac! Anway this clip is classic and certainly clears up any rumours about the mystery man that is Popeye…
Next is a clip from a movie that I think is easily one of the most funny movies of all time, Stir Crazy. (more…)
Filed under: bad movies | Tags: bad movie night, hellgate, Horror, horshack, jesse ventura, predator, wizards of the lost kingdom
Well it’s that time of the year again where we have our sporadic but traditional BAD MOVIE NIGHT! Myself and fellow blogger Sheaehs are gearing up to show some real stinkers once again this Friday. It definately takes the right person to enjoy Bad Movie Night I will say. First you just have to have a sense of humor, second you gotta have some serious patience and third some wit to throw at the screen. Though it’s not neccessary you might also wanna have a six pack to make the experience more bearable if the movie is just a flat out stinkin’ flaming turd! So far we’ve had some good picks that were pretty damn enjoyable! Some features included: She, The Guyver, Dungeonmaster, My Demon Lover, Mac & Me, The Roger Corman version of the Fantastic Four and The Eliminators just to respectively name a few.
This time we’re gearing up with two movies that will hopefully have the audience’s brains melting! My selection thus far is Abraxas: Guardian of the Galaxy, starring Jesse The Body Ventura! Now I have never actually seen this movie but have wanted to for years and just recently acquired it on dvd at the local Goodwill. This movie looks pretty damn bad and I might have to do a sneak peak before hand just to make sure it really delivers the suck. This is what the 1990 movie poster looked liked:
Filed under: Cartoon Hall Of Fame, Cartoons Dorks Should Be Watching, Epic Battles, Fantasy Classics | Tags: battle, cartoon, Don Bluth, epic, fight, jenner, justin, secret of nimh
So in my opinion The Secret of Nimh could easily be the best animated movie ever! It really doesn’t get any better- an epic, intellegent story, Don Bluth‘s absolutley stunning animation and some serious ass kicking action to boot!
Seriously rewatch this movie if you haven’t seen it in a while and you WILL not be let down! I wish we could get Bluth back to focus on another amazing movie- let’s not forget he animated Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace too both incredible classic 80′s arcade games! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find a fight sequence of better quality to put here-but the final battle between the evil rat Jenner & the heroic Justin is one of the best cartoon battles ever!
Filed under: Comics, Fantasy Movies, Marvel, Movies | Tags: bryan singer, director, jack the giant killer, leaves, Movie, off, producer, x-men first class
I heard today that Bryan Singer is now officially off of the X-men: First Class movie. It seems there were scheduling problems with his other project “Jack The Giant Killer”. He will however stay on as producer for the X-men film which at least means he will have some hand in the movie’s final outcome. I don’t put to much faith in the upcoming X-men related movies anymore after we got the Third film and then the absolutely wretched Wolverine flick. The X-men First Class movie will follow the early days of them X-men most likely with new young hip actors cast in the roles of the X-men. I seriously wonder what team mebers will make up the original team here as for some reason Ice-man was made a teenager in the movie franchise and the Angel didn’t even really “join” until the third film.
Personally I could really care less about the “First Class” movie now. I am honestly more excited about Singer doing Jack the Giant Killer. (more…)
Filed under: Comics, Movies | Tags: comic book, edgar wright, george michael, michael cera, Movie, oni press, oregon, Portland, scott pilgrim vs. the world, trailer
I am not sure if you have all heard the hype on the upcoming “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”, directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) but just today the official trailer was released. I have been pretty excited about what Mr. Wright was going to do next as his last two films were pretty damn amazing. So I just checked out the trailer for the new flick, which is based on the comic series of the same name (put out by Portland Oregon based indie comic publisher Oni Press) and I must say the trailer looks like a pretty good time! However one thing kinda urks me a bit, the fact that we have Michael Cera once again as “George Michael” in the movie!
Yeah we’ve the got the kinda shy, kinda awkward, kinda quirky Cera back again as the same damn charcter he’s played in well……EVERYTHING (more…)
Filed under: Universal Foodie Presents | Tags: candy, confusion, fruit flavor, heide, jujyfruits, licorice
Ok some people might not think this is worthwhile subject of a blog but you know what I don’t care! First off let me proclaim that I love candy! I will find any excuse to eat candy-alot of the time I justify eating it when I watch a movie-because everyone eats candy while watching a movie right? RIGHT! So I have had one gripe with one of my favorite candies, JUJYFRUITS! Oh man, I could eat Jujyfruits all day long! But there is just one thing that has bothered me for years that I never really expressed to anyone before-why is the damn purple Jujyfruit licorice flavored?? It states it’s a fruit flavored candy-shouldn’t it be grape?? I know this candy has been around for like 200 years but really-this isn’t Jujyroot candy! Licorice is not a fruit! Now don’t get me wrong I actually LIKE the licorice Jujyfruit alot it’s just a bit odd when you’re eating the lime or orange flavor and then you suddenly got the black licorice flavor screwin’ up the program in your mouth! That’s total tastebud deception!!
They changed a flavor in 1999 when apparently Mint was included in the mix. Apparently they got alot of complaints about the mint flavor-well DOYE! Yeah, good move taking mint out of the mix- that digusting flavor ruined the whole damn party time and time again! Who thought that was a good “fruit” flavor to add to the mix? Do the people at the Heide candy company even understand what a fruit is??! Anyway the shapes of the Jujyfruits candies are listed on their wikipedia page as- Pineapple, Tomato, Raspberry, Grape Bundle, Asparagus Bundle, Banana, and Pea Pod. What the HELL is that all about?? Who the hell was in charge of this fucked up situation?? Tomato???! Asparagus bundle and………..PEA POD?? WTF? Well it’s clear there’s no rhyme or reason to the operation down at the Heide candy company! I officially give up!!
Filed under: Awesome Music Videos, bad movies, childhood nostalgia, comedy, Creeps, Demented kids movies, Fantasy Movies, Great Costumes, Misc, Movies, Supernatural Encounters, The World's Lamest Villains, The Worst of All Time, Useless Information
Horror nerds often come with intact reproductive organs. Hence, sometimes they reproduce (albeit rare). I have personal experience. But becoming a parent doesn’t mean you must purge the filth from your video collections! Just as changing diapers are now daily routine, so must stealth nighttime viewings of those video nasties.
Yet, finding a happy medium between you, your child and your TV can be a challenge. That’s why there’s demented kids movies! The exaggerated costumes, candy colored sets, community-theater caliber acting and fantastical plots latent in these low budget bombs often congeal into scary, trippy cheeseballs of pain. You won’t soon forget the emptiness your soul will feel after watching them.
Many can be found on the underground label SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO.
JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (H.G. Lewis, 1966)
H.G. Lewis, Godfather of Gore, and more?
Herschell Gordon Lewis was an accomplished businessman, so the man who made BLOOD FEAST, 2000 MANIACS and GORE GORE GIRLS went where the money was and crossed genre lines to do so. Although his nudie cuties, teens-gone-wrong and (shutter) family films may seem like resume fodder compared to the squishy, extreme gore films he was famous for, he had a blanketing modus operandi; low initial budgets that yielded cult status and turned profits over long periods of time. He made only two family films and I’m sure Leonard Maltin would hate them. Yet, they endure with a strange charm that only Lewis could conjure.
SANTA MEETS THE MAGICAL LAND OF MOTHER GOOSE is nothing more than a filmed stage production with awful sound. If I remember correctly, the camera barely moves off the tripod.
JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER however, is laced with Lewis’ macabre sensibilities and full of hilarious jump edits, exaggerated acting, nightmarish visuals and horrifying songs.
Comfort bubble violation. Sound the alarm.
Filed under: Comics, Marvel, Movies | Tags: Captain america, casted, chris evans, Joe Johnston, marvel comics, Movie, officially, robert downey jr., The Avengers
Ok well, we really already kinda knew this but I just had to report for the Dork here that Chris Evans has officially been cast as Captain America. The wait is over thank god. That was getting mighty irritating! It’s kinda funny though how we end up with the guy from two of Marvel’s total shit films. Let’s face it the latest Fantastic Four films sucked big time. The Thing somehow looked better in the wretched 1994 Roger Corman flick that was never officially released. I must say too, I think I enjoyed Cormen’s Crapfest better than the last two Fantastic Four movies. It’s actually good news that it’s getting a reboot.
So I will say though I am releived that these Captain America shenanigans are finally over, you’ve got to admit our American poster boy is quite the anti-climatic choice. Looks like Marvel really decided to save their money on Robert Downey Jr. afterall. There was a time when big names were rumored for the role- there was even talk of Will Smith playing Cap for cryin’ out loud! Well I’m not going to make anymore false judgements on this film until it comes out (ok well I probably will, but whatever-I’ll try not to!). All I have to really say is that even though Evans seems sufficient, after all the hype it’s a little disappointing and I really hope we don’t end up with “Crap-tain America” at the end of the day…
Filed under: Music | Tags: dream theater, Dungeons & Dragons, eddie, iron maiden, last album, live, metal, new album, summer, the final frontier, tour 2010
There comes a time in your life when you really just have to suck it up and fucking rock. That time has finally come for me as I am preparing to see one of the best bands in the whole damn world for the first and possibly last time, IRON MAIDEN. Sure the tickets were quite pricey and having grown up attending punk rock shows I really haven’t been to that many arena shows in my time. I mean I saw some pretty amazing bands back in the day for six bucks or less, bands that went on to sell millions of albums even. Even living here in Portland Oregon it seems most bands are just too damn afraid to turn up their amps and many times I end up at the same old timid artsy shows-never getting 1/10th of the rock needed to survive the real world properly. But now the time has finally come to admit to myself, it’s time to man up, rock for real and see one of the best concerts of a lifetime.
I have wanted to see Maiden live for years, but some how always seemed to put it off because of pricey tickets (more…)
