This was the second year that i celebrated Christmas with a “Christmas Horror” night. Yeah i know what you’re thinking, maybe we could have watched Scrooged, Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night or even Gremlins right? WRONG! I wanted something special this year and what’s more amazing than watching a chain smoking “Grizzly Adams” battle evil nazi Elves on christmas eve?!! Yeah this little jem of a movie from 1988 is simply titled “Elves” and it delivered the goods!
The premise is simple, a teenage girl figures out that she is the spawn of a sinister Nazi experiment which involves human breeding with demonic elves attempting to create a race of superhumans. Her and two of her skanky-ass friends decide to spend the night in a department store hoping to get laid by a group of teenage douche bags in the sporting goods section. But instead they discover they are trapped inside with a crazy horny elf and a group of neo Nazi’s hellbent on getting this little horndog laid on christmas eve to officially start the master race. Their only hope is Dan Hagerty(hell yeah- TV’s Grizzly Adams!) who plays a down on his luck, chain smokin’, homeless, recovering alcoholic, ex-con, ex-cop who is currently trying to hold down a job as the department store’s Santa Claus. Really now does it get any better than that? (more…)
